Thanksgiving, Texas Style

by Terry Broxson

Grandma Willowmina has announced in an email that this year's gathering at Thanksgiving is going to be different. She has rented the Cedar Gardens Event Center in Whitewright, Texas. That's not the only change. She has also hired the well-known Texas Chef Henry (Hankerin) Pyles to oversee the cooking.

Willowmina's two daughters and two daughters-in-law are unsure what to make of this news. The oldest daughter Tomasina takes the lead and invited her sister Teri and their sisters-in-law, Tiffiny and Tulia, to a meeting to discuss the ramifications.

Willowmina's position as Matriarch is undisputed and respected. Tomasina, Teri, Tiffiny, and Tulia, referred to as the four T's, provide support for whatever "Mother" wants.

Tomasina chooses the Starbucks on the corner of Jerry Jones Boulevard and Roger Staubach Parkway.

Tomasina, sipping a soy milk latte, says, "I asked Mother yesterday what she was thinking. All she did was smile and say, 'It'll be grand.'"

Teri responds, as only a younger sister can, with a voice of one-upmanship, "Well, I talked to Mother this morning, and she told me, 'No cooking, no cleaning, plenty of room for everybody to eat, drink and be merry, and no driving, as I've arranged Uber for everyone."'

Tiffiny, who married the oldest son, Stephen, eighteen years ago, says, "It sounds great to me. I don't have to go to the store, fight the crowds, and make all that fruit salad for thirty-eight people."

Six months ago, Tulia became the third wife of Willowmina's youngest child, Ralph. "Whatever works." She says. "I'll do anything to help. I've seen the pictures of the Cedar Gardens; it's a gorgeous venue with walking trails, waterfalls, and fountains."

Tomasina grimaces at the ladies. "I don't like it. It's not tradition. God knows what the teenagers will do. The young ones could run amok. And the husbands, well, your husbands and my ex and my new boyfriend will drink too much."

"Sis, what is good for the gander is good for the goose. Mother says she's ordered some excellent chardonnay from Hall's vineyard in Napa. She also said there would be a bounce house for the younger ones. There is a little fishing pond for the kids as well. The adults have an indoor and outdoor bar and plenty of TV sets for watching football."

Tiffiny looks at Tulia and says, "I know this will be your first Thanksgiving married into this large family, but I, for one, will not miss the drudgery of the chores. We eat at one-thirty. The Cowboys' game kicks off at three-thirty. Cooking starts the night before and again at six or seven in the morning."

Teri pipes up, "There's always a dash to get to the food on the tables. Despite the organization, the dysfunction is legendary. There are different foods for the adult table, the teenager table, and the under-thirteen table."

Tomasina jumps in with her two cents. "The ladies, and in this setting, the term is applied loosely, are busy bumping into each other in the kitchen. We are scurrying to get the servings out and in the right place. Then we must get everything cleaned up without breaking some family heirloom."

Teri adds, "Besides, we're yelling at the youngest and trying to figure out how to talk to the teenagers while they're busy ignoring us and avoiding any work."

"Umm." Tomasina looks at her sister. "You do make a good point."

Tulia asks, "I know I'm new to the family, but who's paying for everything?"

Tomasina responds, "Don't worry about that. When Dad died five years ago, Mother took over his insurance agency. She makes three times more money than he ever did. She'll pay for everything."

Tiffiny, who has always considered herself the most adroit of the four T's, says, "Ladies, I think Willowmina's plan is sounding pretty dang good. It will certainly be less work. The food will be different. But Chef Hankerin Pyles' Texas cooking is the most sought-after in the state. I know it's a change, but I can embrace it."

Teri responds, "Tiff, I agree with you. For one thing, we may actually get to talk to our husbands and kids. Usually, we're too busy talking to each other about cooking, cleaning, and organizing. We might have fun this year."

Tomasina's facial expression indicates she may be softening her opinion of the new plan. "I do like watching the Cowboys, and I usually miss most of the game doing dishes."

Tulia asks, "I've got a question about ex-spouses, are they invited, and do they attend?"

Tiffiny quickly says, "Let me take this question. Tulia, yours is pretty complicated. Ralph has two ex-wives, a son with one and a daughter with the other, and both have another kid. The good thing is that they all get along pretty well. So, all the exes come with their current whatever and the kids. It is the one time of the year full siblings, half-siblings, cousins; et cetera are all together."

Teri adds, "It works out pretty well, although the ex-wives didn't lift a finger to help clean up. They only lift a fork, a spoon, and a wine glass."

Tomasina talking to Tulia, says, "My ex will be there alone this year. He got divorced again. He's basically a good guy who couldn't keep it in his pants. Of course, after three kids, that was the only place I wanted him to keep it."

Teri gestures with both hands. "I've got a suggestion. How about I text Mother and tell her we all support her Thanksgiving plan and ask if we can help in any way?"

Heads are nodding in agreement when Thomasina says, "Do it."

Teri's phone dings. "Mother says, great, nothing for y'all to do."

Tomasina urges her sister to send one more text. "Teri, ask her what she's planning for Christmas."

"Okay."

Teri's phone dings. "She says two things. First, you four T's are in charge. Second, I expect to be entertained."

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