| General Fiction posted November 3, 2022 |
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A cat's opinion of dogs
Say What?
by prettybluebirds
Cats & Dogs Contest Winner
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Humans have this erroneous belief that dogs are more intelligent than cats. Well, my friends, we are here to set you straight. Being cats, we really don't give a damn what anyone thinks; we only want to correct this falsehood. We live with a dog and have had passing acquaintances with others. By we, I mean my brother, Jeff, and my friends, Sweetie, Blossom, Blacky, Skeezix, and yours truly, Mutt. From our past experience, we double-dog guarantee you that we cats are smarter than dogs.
Don't get me wrong; we love our resident dog and tolerate her limitations. Our human, we call her Mom, found Jeff and me along the road where some low-life human tossed us. A short time later, she adopted our dog, Pup. The three of us became buddies and spent many a happy hour patrolling the farm and driving off vicious chipmunks. It was dangerous work, but hey, somebody had to do it.
Now back to the intelligence thing. Sure, I give dogs credit for a lot of the stuff we cats can't or won't do, like performing silly tricks such as playing dead, rolling over, jumping through hoops, and other dumb things of that nature. And let's not forget those silly little, yappy dogs who allow their humans to dress them in ridiculous outfits and call them poopsie-poo. Gross. Then there are those noble dogs that risk their lives for humans, you know, the drug-finding, bomb-sniffing ones. You won't find any cat doing something that stupid. I mean, one could get blown into a million pieces or get their tail shot off doing stunts like that. Uh uh, no way you will ever see one of us cats risking our precious lives.
Then there is this loyalty thing dogs have. If a human mistreats his dog, the dumb animal will suck up to them, lick their boots, and continue to love them despite everything. Not so with cats. Treat us right, or you might find poop in your shoe or a dead mouse in your bed. It would do you well to remember that science has proven cats and humans have nearly identical brain sections that control emotions. This means we don't get mad, we get revenge.
Dogs are clever in their own way, but we cats are every bit as wise. For us, human presence is unnecessary as long as the food dishes are full, while Pup suffers separation anxiety when she is left alone for too long. Sure, humans are nice, and if a lap is available, we might or might not curl up in it and purr. It makes our humans feel loved and happy when we do, and it is as good a place to sleep as any. I'm only saying that humans are susceptible, and it is easy to manipulate them with a head bonk or a plaintive meow. Us cats can make over one hundred different sounds, so I guess you know who the master of vocalizing is, right?
Again, don't get the wrong idea here. I speak for all of us when I say we love our humans and appreciate the food and shelter they provide us. That's why we bring all those dead mice for them to eat. It's strange, though; I have never seen Mom eat one. She gets kind of upset when I bring one into the house and drop it on her foot. I only want to show her how much I care. Anyhow, without humans, we could survive, but why would we want to when we have such comfortable lives?
I will admit that people probably find dogs more useful than cats in many ways. For instance, a dog's primary goal is to please its master, while the word master is abhorrent to a cat. Anyway, like I was saying, a dog lives to please. Dogs herd smelly sheep and cows for their humans and enjoy it. Yuk! Then there are police dogs, hunting dogs, and seeing-eye dogs, to name a few. Ha, can you imagine a seeing-eye cat?
In conclusion, maybe dogs are easier to train than us felines, and they can do a lot of things we can't because some of them are bigger, but it doesn't prove they are more intelligent. If we want to do something, we will. If we don't, we won't, and no inducement on earth can make us. All we cats have to do is look cute, which comes naturally to us, and purr a lot. Add a little love to our cuteness, and our humans will happily provide us with toys, food, and other goodies. So, who's the smarter one? The dog who kisses butt and has to work for a living, or us cats who only need to be our natural, cute, adorable selves?
Humans have this erroneous belief that dogs are more intelligent than cats. Well, my friends, we are here to set you straight. Being cats, we really don't give a damn what anyone thinks; we only want to correct this falsehood. We live with a dog and have had passing acquaintances with others. By we, I mean my brother, Jeff, and my friends, Sweetie, Blossom, Blacky, Skeezix, and yours truly, Mutt. From our past experience, we double-dog guarantee you that we cats are smarter than dogs.
Don't get me wrong; we love our resident dog and tolerate her limitations. Our human, we call her Mom, found Jeff and me along the road where some low-life human tossed us. A short time later, she adopted our dog, Pup. The three of us became buddies and spent many a happy hour patrolling the farm and driving off vicious chipmunks. It was dangerous work, but hey, somebody had to do it.
Now back to the intelligence thing. Sure, I give dogs credit for a lot of the stuff we cats can't or won't do, like performing silly tricks such as playing dead, rolling over, jumping through hoops, and other dumb things of that nature. And let's not forget those silly little, yappy dogs who allow their humans to dress them in ridiculous outfits and call them poopsie-poo. Gross. Then there are those noble dogs that risk their lives for humans, you know, the drug-finding, bomb-sniffing ones. You won't find any cat doing something that stupid. I mean, one could get blown into a million pieces or get their tail shot off doing stunts like that. Uh uh, no way you will ever see one of us cats risking our precious lives.
Then there is this loyalty thing dogs have. If a human mistreats his dog, the dumb animal will suck up to them, lick their boots, and continue to love them despite everything. Not so with cats. Treat us right, or you might find poop in your shoe or a dead mouse in your bed. It would do you well to remember that science has proven cats and humans have nearly identical brain sections that control emotions. This means we don't get mad, we get revenge.
Dogs are clever in their own way, but we cats are every bit as wise. For us, human presence is unnecessary as long as the food dishes are full, while Pup suffers separation anxiety when she is left alone for too long. Sure, humans are nice, and if a lap is available, we might or might not curl up in it and purr. It makes our humans feel loved and happy when we do, and it is as good a place to sleep as any. I'm only saying that humans are susceptible, and it is easy to manipulate them with a head bonk or a plaintive meow. Us cats can make over one hundred different sounds, so I guess you know who the master of vocalizing is, right?
Again, don't get the wrong idea here. I speak for all of us when I say we love our humans and appreciate the food and shelter they provide us. That's why we bring all those dead mice for them to eat. It's strange, though; I have never seen Mom eat one. She gets kind of upset when I bring one into the house and drop it on her foot. I only want to show her how much I care. Anyhow, without humans, we could survive, but why would we want to when we have such comfortable lives?
I will admit that people probably find dogs more useful than cats in many ways. For instance, a dog's primary goal is to please its master, while the word master is abhorrent to a cat. Anyway, like I was saying, a dog lives to please. Dogs herd smelly sheep and cows for their humans and enjoy it. Yuk! Then there are police dogs, hunting dogs, and seeing-eye dogs, to name a few. Ha, can you imagine a seeing-eye cat?
In conclusion, maybe dogs are easier to train than us felines, and they can do a lot of things we can't because some of them are bigger, but it doesn't prove they are more intelligent. If we want to do something, we will. If we don't, we won't, and no inducement on earth can make us. All we cats have to do is look cute, which comes naturally to us, and purr a lot. Add a little love to our cuteness, and our humans will happily provide us with toys, food, and other goodies. So, who's the smarter one? The dog who kisses butt and has to work for a living, or us cats who only need to be our natural, cute, adorable selves?
Cats & Dogs Contest Winner |
 Recognized |
#38 November 2022 |
Don't get angry, dog lovers. It's just a story and the cat's point of view, not necessarily mine. I love dogs and cats equally, but I have been around cats all my life, and they are every bit as smart as dogs in their own way.
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