| Biographical Non-Fiction posted August 15, 2022 |
  |
Sophie's story
Squeeze the lemons!
by Wendy G
Sophie, a pre-schooler in my daughter Bella's class, was difficult.
Sophie had regular meltdowns with crying and screaming. She had many behavioural issues, including kicking other children and teachers, and throwing things … toys, blocks, even chairs.
She was a handful, even for Bella, a caring, creative and very capable teacher. Sophie regularly saw a child psychologist.
How would Bella deal with Sophie? How would Bella maintain a positive classroom with a proper learning program and outcomes to be met – and also prepare Sophie for next year in formal schooling?
Despite being unwell and easily fatigued from recurring illness during the first six months of the year, Bella knew she was making good progress with Sophie.
Bella enjoyed the challenges of teaching, and the children loved her – and that was sufficient reward and motivation. There were of course still some difficult days, when Sophie's behaviour was distressing for all.
However, the Deputy Head constantly nagged Bella.
"Sophie just needs to be told what to do and what not to do! You just need to be firm with her!" The Deputy Head was known to loudly berate even the smallest children. Her preferred discipline measures were simply shouting and intimidation.
Bella was disappointed to return in third term to discover that the Deputy Head had transferred Sophie to the other pre-school class with Mrs Kay, who had two aides. One of the aides was designated to watch that Sophie did not hurt anyone, and Mrs Kay was instructed to "just be firm with her!"
Bella was in the playground last week when Sophie came running out of her classroom, followed by a very angry Mrs Kay and one of the aides. The Deputy Head approached from the other direction, fire in her eyes.
Sophie looked around wildly at the three towering figures converging on her, then ran straight to Bella, who knelt at her level. The others glanced at each other, but stood back and watched.
"Are you able to have a chat about what just happened?" Bella quietly asked. Sophie's eyes were wide and frightened. No reponse.
Bella held out her two hands towards Sophie, and made fists facing the ground.
"Squeeze the lemons, Sophie, squeeze the lemons," Bella said. Sophie squeezed Bella's hands as hard as she could.
"Squeeze again, Sophie, squeeze the lemons again!" Sophie squeezed Bella's hands again.
"Are you ready to chat now about what just happened?" Bella asked.
"I threw a block at Mrs Kay's head!" Sophie explained.
"Sophie, let's think … what could have happened?"
"It might have hurt her a lot!" Sophie replied.
"What else might have happened?" Bella pursued.
"One of the kids might have been hurt!"
"Sophie, can you think of how to fix this up? Is there something you can do now to make things right again?"
"I need to say sorry to Mrs Kay," Sophie said.
She ran straight to Mrs Kay and apologised.
Mrs Kay and her aide gaped, gasping in amazement; the Deputy Head's jaw dropped.
Sometimes it's not enough to shout and berate, or just "be firm" with children.
Firmness has many forms, as does discipline, and the purpose is a change in behaviour and attitudes.
Children sometimes need to "squeeze the lemons", regain calm and self-control, with no threatening figures surrounding.
Just the calming refuge of a Bella and lemons to squeeze.
Then their learning begins.
Sophie, a pre-schooler in my daughter Bella's class, was difficult.
Sophie had regular meltdowns with crying and screaming. She had many behavioural issues, including kicking other children and teachers, and throwing things … toys, blocks, even chairs.
She was a handful, even for Bella, a caring, creative and very capable teacher. Sophie regularly saw a child psychologist.
How would Bella deal with Sophie? How would Bella maintain a positive classroom with a proper learning program and outcomes to be met – and also prepare Sophie for next year in formal schooling?
Despite being unwell and easily fatigued from recurring illness during the first six months of the year, Bella knew she was making good progress with Sophie.
Bella enjoyed the challenges of teaching, and the children loved her – and that was sufficient reward and motivation. There were of course still some difficult days, when Sophie's behaviour was distressing for all.
However, the Deputy Head constantly nagged Bella.
"Sophie just needs to be told what to do and what not to do! You just need to be firm with her!" The Deputy Head was known to loudly berate even the smallest children. Her preferred discipline measures were simply shouting and intimidation.
Bella was disappointed to return in third term to discover that the Deputy Head had transferred Sophie to the other pre-school class with Mrs Kay, who had two aides. One of the aides was designated to watch that Sophie did not hurt anyone, and Mrs Kay was instructed to "just be firm with her!"
Bella was in the playground last week when Sophie came running out of her classroom, followed by a very angry Mrs Kay and one of the aides. The Deputy Head approached from the other direction, fire in her eyes.
Sophie looked around wildly at the three towering figures converging on her, then ran straight to Bella, who knelt at her level. The others glanced at each other, but stood back and watched.
"Are you able to have a chat about what just happened?" Bella quietly asked. Sophie's eyes were wide and frightened. No reponse.
Bella held out her two hands towards Sophie, and made fists facing the ground.
"Squeeze the lemons, Sophie, squeeze the lemons," Bella said. Sophie squeezed Bella's hands as hard as she could.
"Squeeze again, Sophie, squeeze the lemons again!" Sophie squeezed Bella's hands again.
"Are you ready to chat now about what just happened?" Bella asked.
"I threw a block at Mrs Kay's head!" Sophie explained.
"Sophie, let's think … what could have happened?"
"It might have hurt her a lot!" Sophie replied.
"What else might have happened?" Bella pursued.
"One of the kids might have been hurt!"
"Sophie, can you think of how to fix this up? Is there something you can do now to make things right again?"
"I need to say sorry to Mrs Kay," Sophie said.
She ran straight to Mrs Kay and apologised.
Mrs Kay and her aide gaped, gasping in amazement; the Deputy Head's jaw dropped.
Sometimes it's not enough to shout and berate, or just "be firm" with children.
Firmness has many forms, as does discipline, and the purpose is a change in behaviour and attitudes.
Children sometimes need to "squeeze the lemons", regain calm and self-control, with no threatening figures surrounding.
Just the calming refuge of a Bella and lemons to squeeze.
Then their learning begins.
 Recognized |
Bella started Term 1 the day after her mandated Covid isolation finished. She was later diagnosed with influenza, then pneumonia. She has now also been confirmed to have Long Covid.
She loves each of the children in her care. To her each is a special little person, with huge potential.
Bella's strategy needs no special equipment, and can be used any time and any place, by anyone who is willing to try a different way.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. She loves each of the children in her care. To her each is a special little person, with huge potential.
Bella's strategy needs no special equipment, and can be used any time and any place, by anyone who is willing to try a different way.
You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.
© Copyright 2024. Wendy G All rights reserved.
Wendy G has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
