Humor Fiction posted June 27, 2022


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A taxi ride with a fan of conspiracy theories

The accursed reptilians

by JoannaN

The author has placed a warning on this post for language.

"Did you watch the news yesterday? The piece about income taxes?"

"Yep."

"Bloody politicians, I hate them all. They can only steal. They can only sit on their fat arses, passing all these laws, all these amendments, however they are called. Words cannot describe my hatred."

"Life is hard."

"Hard? The life is a piece of shit, only wrapped in aluminum foil. Did you know most politicians are reptilians? Yes, I'm not joking. The end of the world is coming faster than you may think. Can you slow down, young gentleman? I hate being in a car. I hate cars."

"Don't be afraid, Mrs. Dean. You are safe with me."

"Unless you are a biotonic robot or a cyborg. Mark my words. You cannot trust anyone. This world is going to dogs. We are on the edge of destruction. Have you ever watched Toddlers and Tiaras? Everyone is going crazy. Bugger me, even my own granddaughter wanted to take part in it. Can you imagine it? Nina, my own granddaughter, running around with a bloody tiara on her head. She's only twenty-nine, for God's sake."

"Yes, that must have been a shock for you."

"A shock? It was a disaster. My granddaughter dreaming about being in some reptilian tv show. It was my personal failure. It's her mother's fault. My daughter-in-law has spoilt Nina. Do you have any kids?"

"No."

"I see. You are too young to have a kid. You, young people, are so lazy these days. No kids, no duties, only a cat and a smartphone. It's no wonder the reptilians are conquering this world."

"You mentioned your daughter-in-law."

"Yes. Her name is Clothilda, can you imagine? How can you call someone Clothilda? She comes from Canada. I cannot treat her seriously. She is an imbecile. To cap it all, Clothilda is a reptilian. Have you ever meet a reptilian?"

"To the best of my knowledge, I haven't met any reptilians so far, Mrs. Dean."

"Oh, no, no, no. You must have met plenty of them. Accursed reptilians. They are everywhere. Do you see that woman, in the red car on the left side? She's one of them."

"There is no reason to panic, Mrs. Dean."

"I know a reptilian when I see one. Do you see her nails? They are true talons. Green talons, probably made of some metal. Let me have a glance at her. Yes, she's a reptilian. Definitely. When I was her age, women used to be classy."

"I am going to park here, Mrs. Dean. How would you like to pay? Cash or credit card?"

"Cash, young man, cash. You have to be safe. Stay out of danger. It was lovely to meet you, young man. Promise me a thing. You need to find a wife and sire a kid or two. You have to. Someone has to. Otherwise, this world shall die."



Dialogue Only Prompt writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Write a story using only dialogue. No narration, descriptions, or sentence tags. Maximum word count: 1,000


Only dialogue prompt.
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