I said WHAT?

by Wendy G

Background: Tim and Mandy have met on-line, and they have had a few conversations, during which they seemed to relate well. Tim has asked Mandy to go on a whale-watching cruise. Both are hoping to find true love.

Characters: Tim, aged thirty-one, is a successful executive, dressed in casual but well-cut chinos and an open-necked shirt, with brown loafers. Sunglasses sit atop his Akubra. Mandy is twenty-seven. She is tall, and very attractive. She wears a large sunhat with a floppy brim, a colourful sundress with a full skirt which highlights her slim shape, sunglasses and sandals. They make a good-looking couple.

Setting: They are at the rails on the deck of a whale-watching cruiser with about eighty guests, for a special day of sun, sailing and watching whales breach. A full buffet luncheon is offered. The weather is perfect.
Mandy's words are in maroon and Tim's words are in blue.

"This will be a lovely day! I've never been whale-watching before!"

"Neither have I … and the weather's superb, sunshine, blue skies, and a gentle breeze. I believe this is the right season, so we should see lots of whales."

"We're rounding the headland now! It won't be too long. I'm excited! And so is everyone else. There's a great atmosphere, and everyone's so friendly! We're all looking forward to this!"

"Yes, it's a nice group of people. What if we have lunch first? There's a delicious sea-food buffet – all you can eat!"

"Good idea. It's quite crowded out here at the moment; later there may be more space. I want to get some good photos of the whales breaching."

"I've brought my video camera too. Here's hoping! First, let's eat!"

They go inside the cabin to a gourmet spread, and enjoy a wonderful selection of foods, including sea-food, hot and cold dishes, accompanied by fresh salads, crusty bread, fine desserts, and a selection of wines and other drinks. After their luncheon, they move back out to the deck.

"Thank you for this special day. You thought of everything – that was such a great meal. I enjoyed it a lot! That sea-food was super! But, my goodness the wind has picked up while we were eating! It's so strong now!"

Tim grabs her sunhat as it starts to blow away.

"Let's go around to the other side of the boat – it may be more sheltered from the wind!"

"Oh, these waves are getting higher too … the boat's tossing a lot! I'm losing my footing! And my dress! I can't keep it down!"

"Are you feeling alright? You are looking a bit green …."

"Actually … no … I'm feeling quite sick … and I think I'm going to …"

"Oh no! Oh dear! Don't worry about your dress! I'll hold it down for you! Yes, I've got your hat! Don't apologise … you can't help being sick!"

"I'm …"

"I'm holding you, don't worry. Oh … not good ... I'll help you lean over the rails!"

No further conversation for the next two hours . . . . No-one else is nearby. They are all on the other side of the boat, keeping well clear. Tim is still holding her hat, and is looking very worried.

"I'm so sorry! That was SO embarrassing. I smell bad, actually I stink. Yuk! And look even worse. I just want to go home! Thanks so much for helping me. So sorry - I've wrecked everything. Did you see any whales?"

"I was too busy looking after you – you were just about collapsing with sea-sickness! I was trying to hold you as you leaned over the rails, and hold your hat, while I held your dress down! We both missed the whales. No photos, no videos … and for you, no lunch!

"I don't think I'll be eating sea-food again for a long time!"

"You'll be pleased to know we're heading back and will soon be in the harbour ..."

"That's good!"

"Can you stand up yet? Or still too shaky? By the way - I think you were a bit delirious at times …You said some strange things …."

"Oh no! What did I say?"

"You said you wanted to marry some-one just like me … because I was so kind!"

"Oh, NO! I'm sure I wouldn't have said that! You must have misheard … or you imagined it! I would never say that! On a first date? Never!"

*******************************
Setting: Mandy's apartment. She is now in casual clothes, and is back to normal colour. She is on the phone to her mother, almost in tears.

"Mum, he was a real gentleman. But he'll never want to see me again after that disaster! He really saw me at my very worst, and I'm still so embarrassed. That would've been a very expensive first date – and I totally ruined it. I was sick for nearly the whole afternoon! I have no idea what he will be thinking. All that money wasted. Food wasted. No whales. All I wanted was to get back back home. It was horrible.

And Mum, I think it's even worse. He says I said I wanted to marry some-one like him … but I must have been delirious!! So now, I've really wrecked everything. No prospect of what could have been the start of something special ….
Just a minute, I'll call you back, Mum. I can see an incoming call, and it's from HIM!"

Half an hour later:

"Hi Mum. He's invited me on another date! He says we won't count that one, and we'll try again to have a great first date. But next time we'll stay on dry land!"

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The First Date contest entry

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That's the way it started ... and yes, they did marry!

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I said WHAT?

by Wendy G

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