"Well, Folks, there you have it. Live on channel GIIC, we just witnessed the event upset of the century. Actually, more than the century... this is the upset of all time. Man against lion, lion against man, and who would you think would win this battle? It didn't happen, folks. Daniel, the victorious man, is not available for interview because the king has summoned him to hear how this victory could have happened. With us, though, we have Leo, the Vicious, Head Lion of the Lion's Den. Leo... Leo... how do you feel right now?"

"Roaaaaaarrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!"

"Easy, Big Boy. We just want to visit with you. The entire world is wondering how such a sure fire victory could have gone so wrong. Why didn't you and your team of lions eat Daniel like you were expected to do? I mean, really, it has never happened before. What happened?"

"I dunno... I wish I knew, but... I'm so ashamed. That man actually treated us like... like... like... Kittens."

"Can we quote you on that? 'Man treats lions like kittens."

"It sounds even more humiliating when you say it."

"You mean 'Man treats lions..."

"So don't say it."

"Okay. So you and your team of lions had a man treating you like... well not like the mighty lions you are... So how do you explain letting him stay alive? You seem to have had perfect motivation to do your job even more efficiently because of the way he treated you. Why didn't you do your job?"

"Daniel cheated. That's the only way it could have happened."

"That isn't a good enough explanation. Daniel is just a frail old man. How could he cheat?"

"He had help. It was supposed to be just him, but he had help all over the place."

"What kind of help? Daniel was by himself when he went down into the lion's den. Eight lions against one man. Who could have been with him?"

"Angels."

"Angels?"

"Yep. Angels. With super-glue."

"Super-glue?"

"Yep. Heavenly super-glue."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"How else could you explain every one of the lions not being able to open their mouths? The angels must have used that heavenly super-glue to glue all of the lion's mouths shut. In my opinion, that has got to be cheating. How could we do our job with our mouths glued shut?"

"You could have used your big, sharp, scary claws to rip him to shreds."

"Roaaaaar... That means the angels cheated even more by taking away our ability to think. It never dawned on me to use my claws. I was too upset about not being able to eat him because of our closed mouths. Ooooh... just give me a rematch.."

"We have been informed through high level sources that a rematch is out of the question. The King has completely pardoned Daniel. In fact, he has made a proclamation that all nations are to worship the God of Daniel. Leo, after what you have told, I think the king has made a good decision. In fact, Daniel's God is the one I am going to start serving. If He cared enough to protect Daniel from a den of deadly lions, well, who wouldn't want to worship Him?"

"But what about us lions? What about our hard earned reputations? How will that ever be restored?"

"Maybe the rest of the king's proclamation could give you a glimmer of hope."

"I don't see anything that could bring me joy right now."

"The king has learned about how certain politicians had tricked him into throwing Daniel to the Lions. He has ordered his guards to put everyone tied to this scandal into the same Lion's Den that Daniel had been in. That means..."

"That means this interview is over. I'm going to go get my reputation back. In a BIG WAY."

"Well, Folks, there you heard it... straight from the lion's mouth. I suspect this next match will end in the lion's favor. So, until next event, this is Hiram Hilltickle, for GIIC... God Is In Control."