"Hello?"

"Hi Sally, It's your Grandma."

"Grandma! Oh, I've been MEANING to call you!"

"Don't worry about it, I know you're busy with many things."

"So true, and thanks for understanding."

"You surely are very busy with a husband and four young children. They must be getting big."

"Oh yes, they are. I've been meaning to send you last year's school pictures but this summer was CRAZY!"

"I'd love to see them. Perhaps you could drop them off when you go into Boston some day?"

"Grandma, it's such a hassle getting off and then back on route 3. I do wish you would get a smart phone. I could send you a boatload of pictures with a touch of my finger."

"Maybe some day, but I really called to ask you, Bob, and the children to come by next Sunday afternoon at 1 o'clock. Your mother, sister and brothers are being invited as well."

"Oh Grandma! I've told you several times before, that's Bill's tennis time in our back lawn and we usually have the families of his foursome drop over too."

"I understand, but this an important time for me, and all of you grandchildren as well, I believe. I want you all to meet someone, someone very special to me."

"Oh? Who are you talking about?"

"He's the man of MY DREAMS!"

" WHA-?"

"You heard me correctly; the MAN OF MY DREAMS! And if he'd have me, I'd marry him in a heartbeat!"

"But--"

"I know, I'm 77, but I've never felt so attracted to a man in my life!"

"Well, how old is he? What's his name? What's his profession?"

"His name is William, but I call him Bill. He's 35, and looks like Matt Damon. He's just-just BREATH taking!"

"GRANDMA! I'm stunned! What does he do? How did you meet him?"

"Well, I had a leaky faucet, and you know how hard it is to get a plumber. Plus, once they see this mansion your Grandfather left me, their prices go through the roof!

So while I was at one of the shops in town, I saw a little hand-lettered sign Bill had just pinned there. In fact he was still sitting in his van, when I pulled in next to him in my Mercedes. He saw me looking at the ad, and when I came back to my car, he told me it was his sign, and asked if he could help me. What a WONDERFUL young man!"

"Grandma! I'm dumbfounded, I don't know what to say..."

"There's more! As I was talking to Matt...I mean Bill, it started to rain and the top was down on the Mercedes. He helped me get it up and secured just as the skies opened up and it really poured. So the two of us sat in my car and talked for a good hour, until the rain stopped.

Turns out he had a couple of bad marriages where the women were just no-good! And after this last divorce is now settled, he's free and clear. He's pretty much penniless because he refused to fight things out through a long court battle. He's starting over as a handyman until he gets back on his feet. He was pretty high up in the financial investment field until those evil women broke him. Now, as he put it, he's, 'looking with my heart this time for just the right woman'.

Now what could I say? Here I have this twenty-one room mansion, and money! So much money, I will never be able to spend it all if I live to be a hundred and ten! So, I invited him to come and fix the faucet, and some other pesky things, and one thing led to another."

"GRANDMA! What do you MEAN 'one thing led to another?'"

"Bill moved in that first night and he's got this place ship-shape like never before! Remember that stuck window and the door that wouldn't shut your Bob was going to fix last year? Both operating smooth as silk! The man is an artist with tools."

Say, make a list of what you need repaired at your place when you come over and I'm sure Bill will put you on his list. He'll be back by then or I'd put him on the phone now. His old van conked out in the driveway, so I gave him some money to put down on a new one.

Didn't know how much he'd need, so I gave him a signed check and loaned him my car. He's been gone awhile, but these transactions take time. It's been two days, but I'm not worried."

"GRANDMA! ARE YOU OFF YOUR ROCKER?"

"No, but you are, if you believe any of that line of baloney I've been feeding you for the last half-hour or so! I TOLD you he was the "man of my dreams" didn't I? APRIL FOOL!"