I've shaved my legs, my armpits, my eyebrows and top lip.
I've cut my fingernails, my toenails and cut my hair a bit.
I've taken out my earrings and I've removed my watch.
I've taken out my dentures and I'm not wearing any socks.
I've decided to walk into town and not go in the car,
It's the first time since September I've ever walked so far.

I ran through a revolving door, dropped my handbag on the floor,
Put my coat upon the chair and joined the others waiting there.

I was keen to start the weigh-in. I'd done all that I could do
To try to lose a little weight and get to 9 stone two.
Standing on the scales I found my efforts were in vain,
All the weight I lost last week, I'd put back on again.

So I set off for Mcdonalds' for something comforting with beef in.
just another disappointment, I forgot I'd got no teeth in.