Sarah

Bedtime

She was only 9 years old the first time he ever touched her. She was in bed sleeping between him and her Aunt Beverly. She could smell the alcohol on his breath as he whispered in her ear " be still and don't say word or I'll kill that damn dog of yours." She froze and tears filled her eyes. He was talking about Solo. Solo was her dog. His rough hand was in her cotton panties with the pink roses on them. She just laid stiff as a board, she wanted to vomit. Not knowing what to do. She just did what he said. She held her breath. Fear blossomed in her chest. Finally, he pulled his hand away from her little flower as her Mom called it. No one was supposed to touch you there except Mommy or yourself her Mommy had told her. Now it hurt down there and she had to go pee but she was afraid he would wake up and get mad. She still heard his words ringing in her ears "I'll kill that damn dog," She shivered. Solo was all she had now that Mama was away working and Daddy had died. Her sisters were all living with other relatives. She wondered if they were going through the same thing and she quietly started to cry. Eventually, she heard his breathing deepen and he started to snore, she knew he was sound asleep. She snuck out of bed and went to the bathroom, it hurt when she peed. She cried some more, dried her eyes, slipped quietly back in bed and tried to sleep, but it was almost morning before she drifted off. When she woke, at first she froze in fright, afraid he was still beside her, then she relaxed as she heard his voice downstairs.

The Morning

Sarah got dressed and snuck downstairs to feed Solo and sit on the porch with him. He was the only one she had to love and feel loved by with Mama gone. Aunt Beverly tried but she was always so tired and worn down. Every now and then she would bake her some cookies. These she cherished and rationed like a soldier with water in the desert. Of course she always shared with Solo. The sun was starting to come up. What would she say when she saw him? Would he even remember or was he too drunk? She prayed he had forgotten. A sick feeling overcame her and suddenly she wasn't hungry. She got up suddenly. So fast Solo was startled and jumped to his feet ready to bark at an offending stranger. When he saw no one was there he looked at her quizzically. 'Solo, she said, I swear you can always read my mind.' 'Let's go for a walk.' He wagged his tail enthusiastically. He knew when they walked they would go down by the creek and he would probably find some frogs or squirrels to chase.

The Creek

The creek ran along the back side of the house. You could follow it all the way to town and then somewhere it finally fed into the river. Aunt Beverly had told her she could walk along it but to stay out of it unless an adult was with her because there were 'dangerous currents' whatever that meant. She didn't care. She just liked to go to her special thinking rock.

As they walked the short distance she could smell the creek and the freshness of the water. She listened to the water gliding over the rocks as the noise grew louder. Finally they arrived and she climbed the rock. Solo jumped up and sat beside her. Now she could cry. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his thick black coat.
'Oh Solo, it was awful.
I don't know what to do. What if he does it again?'


She cried and cried and thought about how much she missed her Mama and her sisters. She knew her Mama would have never left her here if she had known what would happen. Mama had a good job now and was trying to save money to bring them all together again. She thought about telling her but she was ashamed. She thought that maybe she had done something to cause him to act that way. She was frightened and she didn't want Mama to lose her job. She was working so hard. She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. In the distance she could hear Aunt Beverly calling her name. It was time for breakfast. She wasn't hungry but she didn't want to risk making HIM mad. But SHE was mad. She could feel the anger simmering below the surface and she started to see black. She could feel darkness coming behind her eyes and she knew she was going to faint. She focused on calming herself and things returned to normal.
'Come on Solo, let's go see if I can keep some of my breakfast down. I'll save you some biscuit.
If it weren't for you I don't know what I would do.'

Breakfast

Breakfast was over quick. HE had already left. She helped Aunt Beverly with the dishes then went out to start her daily chores. It was summer and school was out. She had a long morning of chores ahead of her. She wanted to be with the animals to clear her head.

Chores

She started with milking the cow. Her name was Norma. She milked her then fed her and brushed her down a little. Gave her a once over. Pronounced her sound , gave her a kiss on the nose and moved on to the horse. The horses name was Norman. She started with putting him in the pasture so she could muck his stall. Once she was done mucking, she mixed his oats and gave him some fresh hay. Brushed him down until his coat shined, pronounced him sound and give him a kiss and gave them both fresh water. She could hear Chester the Barn Owl rustling softly as he slept in the rafters up- stairs.

After she finished watering she headed out to the chicken coop. Noisy as can be, they calmed down when they saw her coming. She let them out, collected eggs, threw out some feed for them and cleaned the coop all the while talking to the chickens while she fed them and changed their water. The sound of her voice soothed them and they were content.
Aunt Beverly was picking fruits and vegetables around on the side yard so she and Solo went to help. Aunt Beverly shooed her off and told her to go have some fun. It was early summer and not too hot yet. She didn't feel like a swim but maybe dangling her legs.

Time

The next few months consisted of a series of nights much like the one before until finally Sarah had had enough. He had not only been molesting her he was beating her and her Aunt Beverly. She needed to think about what she was going to do. She had to escape. It was never going to happen again. And he wasn't going to hurt Solo or Aunt Beverly again either. She knew she had a power within her, she just needed to learn how to harness it. This time she was going to use it to defend herself and those she loved.

Payback

That night he came home drunk as usual. Like a King he demanded his supper. Barely even able to make it to the table he plopped in a chair and with no manners at all shoveled his food in. He managed to put down two more beers during all this and was even drunker. He made a grab for Aunt Beverly who rebuffed him and told him he smelled like a distillery and to take a bath. He told her to go to hell. Just another jolly night at home. Suddenly he took a lunge at Sarah and she screamed! Then she remembered she had planned to deal with him once and for all tonight. She easily slips his grasp and he doesn't see the knife in her hand until it's too late. She stabs up and into the soft spot in his neck. His face blanches with pain. Blood spurts out all over her hand. All over the linoleum. Her mind is suddenly filled with images and she remembers all the beatings he has given them. She remembers the sexual molestation last night. He has crossed so many lines. She feels a small sense of satisfaction as his life's blood pours out on her small hand and on to the floor. His face is contorted. He is gurgling. Then the thought occurs to her that he had probably done this to young girls during the war. For food and safety a helpless woman or girl would probably do anything to survive. What a horrible man. He deserved to die. Some where in the distance she could hear Aunt Beverly saying something. She was just so mad she was not listening. Then the smell of copper filled her nose and she realized it's his blood. She started to come out of the black out state and look at the corpse lying in front of her. She feels nothing. Nothing but relief.

The Cover Up

Suddenly, Aunt Beverly swings into action! She starts by saying;
"There's no proof!" Aunt Beverly is ranting hysterically. "We clean up this mess!" "We bury him and there's no proof!" She keeps going on!

"We just say he never came home." Planning how we can hide my terrible crime. "Move on and run the farm without him." Yes, we can do that.

"Heck we practically have been already." She hugs me.

"You're a good girl Sarah." Aunt Beverly tells me.

"I think we're gonna be mighty happy from now on." Sarah looks at her and sees she is serious.
They smile at each other and head out to the barn to get some shovels.


It is well after midnight by the time they finish. They are both physically and emotionally exhausted. Neither one of them say anything as they walk back to the house. They both crawl into bed and fall into a deep,dreamless sleep.

Aftermath

My Aunt and I never spoke of that night again until her death bed many years later. We went on to run the farm and answered the Sheriffs questions when he came calling. The Sheriff looked at the two worn women. Well, woman and young girl and chalked HIS disappearance up to the misanthrope of a drunk.

When my mama came two summers later we had a happy reunion. "Im so happy to be with you again Mama!" Sarah said

"Im happy to be with you too sweetheart." Her Mother replied

"How was your stay at Aunt Beverly's?" her Mother asked

"We had a great time together." Sarah replied

"I learned how to cook and grow vegetables and take care of the animals." Sarah told her.

"It was REALLY great after HE went away." Sarah commented.

"We had to work harder but we had a lot more fun!" Sarah said enthusiastically! "Boy was HE ever a pain in the neck!"

As they rode on together Sarah smiled as she looked out the window and into the
field where they had laid the remains of her uncle. She supposed she should feel guilty but she didn't. She had saved her and Aunt Beverly that night.

From the other side of the car Sarah's Mother smiled and said "I'm so happy things worked out for you dear, it's a such a joy to have you back!"