| Humor Non-Fiction posted October 21, 2021 |
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I'm so glad that sometimes hackers get what they deserve!
Hacked!
by DeboraDyess
I'm told that when my youngest son and I are together, we're like a comedy show. He's the wit and I'm the straight man, which seems strange to those who know me, but I fall into the role naturally around him. He is animated, loud, big and so naturally funny that there are professional comedians who would be jealous of his timing and quick-thinking delivery.
But, as it turns out, he doesn't need me at all.
He can be as witty without me anywhere around.
Although he does need my hacker.
Let me explain...
My Facebook account was recently hacked. The hacker, an obvious tower of intellect, got my name correct but messed up my birthday.
Knowing better than to fall for such a bunch of bull-scam, my son sent the hacker a bit of bait through Messenger.
"Mom," he typed, "you got your birthday wrong on your new Facebook account. Are you drunk again?"
(In my defense, I've actually never been drunk. I"m told I'm missing out, but I'm okay with it.)
The hacker didn't reply.
Josh called me at this point, filled me in, and addressed the hacker again, reading his message aloud to me so I could enjoy the game, too.
"I know you and Dad have had some issues since he retired. Do you need some help with bills this month?"
Ah, that got a nibble.
"Yes," the hacker typed immediately.
"Okay, let me see what Brother Bear and I can pull together and I'll send it to you tonight."
The greed guy on the other end of the message replied with a 'thumbs up'.
"How about $5000?" Josh typed after a minute. He laughed. "That's all we can comfortably do right now. But it will have to last you until Christmas."
"You never offered me $5000 in real life!" I protested into my phone, but I was laughing and wasn't sure he could understand me.
The hacker probably nearly peed his pants and replied, "Oh, thank you, son. That would be wonderful."
And before he could type anymore, Josh sent this message: "Okay, done! I sent my half to Brother Bear and he just sent it to your CashApp account."
There was a pause. Then the hacker replies, "I need to send you the correct CashApp number!"
"Mom," Josh messaged, "I set that up for you, remember? It's not like I need you to send me the number! Besides, it's already done."
The hacker must have been sweating bullets by now. "No!" the response came immediately. "I messed that one up. Your dad helped me create a new one. Retrieve the money from the old account and allow me to send you my new account number."
Josh read each exchange to me, his sheer glee at the interaction so obvious in his voice that I couldn't help but laugh out loud with each exchange. (I'm holding back laughs even now, as I retell his adventure!)
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
"Oh," my boy-genius said, "I just sent them a screenshot of us on the phone and said, 'Mom, since I'm on the phone with you, why aren't you telling me this verbally? Doesn't it seem weird to you to be Messaging and talking at the same time? And telling me such different things?"
We laughed together and I admonished him for cutting the game so short.
"Okay," He said. "One last message."
And he sent, "Oh, come on. Don't be cross. Can't we still be friends?"
I love that boy!
True Story Flash contest entry
I'm told that when my youngest son and I are together, we're like a comedy show. He's the wit and I'm the straight man, which seems strange to those who know me, but I fall into the role naturally around him. He is animated, loud, big and so naturally funny that there are professional comedians who would be jealous of his timing and quick-thinking delivery.
But, as it turns out, he doesn't need me at all.
He can be as witty without me anywhere around.
Although he does need my hacker.
Let me explain...
My Facebook account was recently hacked. The hacker, an obvious tower of intellect, got my name correct but messed up my birthday.
Knowing better than to fall for such a bunch of bull-scam, my son sent the hacker a bit of bait through Messenger.
"Mom," he typed, "you got your birthday wrong on your new Facebook account. Are you drunk again?"
(In my defense, I've actually never been drunk. I"m told I'm missing out, but I'm okay with it.)
The hacker didn't reply.
Josh called me at this point, filled me in, and addressed the hacker again, reading his message aloud to me so I could enjoy the game, too.
"I know you and Dad have had some issues since he retired. Do you need some help with bills this month?"
Ah, that got a nibble.
"Yes," the hacker typed immediately.
"Okay, let me see what Brother Bear and I can pull together and I'll send it to you tonight."
The greed guy on the other end of the message replied with a 'thumbs up'.
"How about $5000?" Josh typed after a minute. He laughed. "That's all we can comfortably do right now. But it will have to last you until Christmas."
"You never offered me $5000 in real life!" I protested into my phone, but I was laughing and wasn't sure he could understand me.
The hacker probably nearly peed his pants and replied, "Oh, thank you, son. That would be wonderful."
And before he could type anymore, Josh sent this message: "Okay, done! I sent my half to Brother Bear and he just sent it to your CashApp account."
There was a pause. Then the hacker replies, "I need to send you the correct CashApp number!"
"Mom," Josh messaged, "I set that up for you, remember? It's not like I need you to send me the number! Besides, it's already done."
The hacker must have been sweating bullets by now. "No!" the response came immediately. "I messed that one up. Your dad helped me create a new one. Retrieve the money from the old account and allow me to send you my new account number."
Josh read each exchange to me, his sheer glee at the interaction so obvious in his voice that I couldn't help but laugh out loud with each exchange. (I'm holding back laughs even now, as I retell his adventure!)
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
"Oh," my boy-genius said, "I just sent them a screenshot of us on the phone and said, 'Mom, since I'm on the phone with you, why aren't you telling me this verbally? Doesn't it seem weird to you to be Messaging and talking at the same time? And telling me such different things?"
We laughed together and I admonished him for cutting the game so short.
"Okay," He said. "One last message."
And he sent, "Oh, come on. Don't be cross. Can't we still be friends?"
I love that boy!
But, as it turns out, he doesn't need me at all.
He can be as witty without me anywhere around.
Although he does need my hacker.
Let me explain...
My Facebook account was recently hacked. The hacker, an obvious tower of intellect, got my name correct but messed up my birthday.
Knowing better than to fall for such a bunch of bull-scam, my son sent the hacker a bit of bait through Messenger.
"Mom," he typed, "you got your birthday wrong on your new Facebook account. Are you drunk again?"
(In my defense, I've actually never been drunk. I"m told I'm missing out, but I'm okay with it.)
The hacker didn't reply.
Josh called me at this point, filled me in, and addressed the hacker again, reading his message aloud to me so I could enjoy the game, too.
"I know you and Dad have had some issues since he retired. Do you need some help with bills this month?"
Ah, that got a nibble.
"Yes," the hacker typed immediately.
"Okay, let me see what Brother Bear and I can pull together and I'll send it to you tonight."
The greed guy on the other end of the message replied with a 'thumbs up'.
"How about $5000?" Josh typed after a minute. He laughed. "That's all we can comfortably do right now. But it will have to last you until Christmas."
"You never offered me $5000 in real life!" I protested into my phone, but I was laughing and wasn't sure he could understand me.
The hacker probably nearly peed his pants and replied, "Oh, thank you, son. That would be wonderful."
And before he could type anymore, Josh sent this message: "Okay, done! I sent my half to Brother Bear and he just sent it to your CashApp account."
There was a pause. Then the hacker replies, "I need to send you the correct CashApp number!"
"Mom," Josh messaged, "I set that up for you, remember? It's not like I need you to send me the number! Besides, it's already done."
The hacker must have been sweating bullets by now. "No!" the response came immediately. "I messed that one up. Your dad helped me create a new one. Retrieve the money from the old account and allow me to send you my new account number."
Josh read each exchange to me, his sheer glee at the interaction so obvious in his voice that I couldn't help but laugh out loud with each exchange. (I'm holding back laughs even now, as I retell his adventure!)
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
"Oh," my boy-genius said, "I just sent them a screenshot of us on the phone and said, 'Mom, since I'm on the phone with you, why aren't you telling me this verbally? Doesn't it seem weird to you to be Messaging and talking at the same time? And telling me such different things?"
We laughed together and I admonished him for cutting the game so short.
"Okay," He said. "One last message."
And he sent, "Oh, come on. Don't be cross. Can't we still be friends?"
I love that boy!
 Recognized |
So... I missed the word count for the contest. I started to strip the story down to fit, but... I like it like this. So I'll be immediately eliminated form the contest, which is okay. :)
This exchange happened last night and I'm still laughing about it!
I hope the color-coding wasn't too distracting and that you enjoy reading about our demented senses of humor. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. This exchange happened last night and I'm still laughing about it!
I hope the color-coding wasn't too distracting and that you enjoy reading about our demented senses of humor. :)
Blessings,
Deb
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