Mom was upset with squirrels eating all the bird food from their feeder. We sat and watched, sure enough, the boogers feasted.

Mom said, "I don't know what to do. Any ideas, Son?"

"Of course! I'm going to string an all-steel clothesline between those two trees and hang the feeder in the middle. Squirrels won't be able to get footing and will fall."

Worked like a charm twice. Mom, said, "I knew you learned something in college."

The third time, the squirrel jumped up, turned over, and clambered hand over hand to the feeder.

Mom..."The bastard went to college too!"