We went out for the day, my Mom, Dad and me
My brother and sister, us kids we made three
Dad wanted to drive, to get out of the house
He wore his old shoes, Mom wore her new blouse

"Put Sparky on down in the basement" Dad said,
"He can't come here with us, it's something I'd dread"
So off to the basement with Sparky I went
The floor down there's chilly, it's made of cement

The washer's down there and the dryer as well
It's cool, damp and musty and the room has a smell
There are spiders down there and other bugs too
When I have to go down there I get kind of blue

I felt really bad for taking Sparky down there
But he went down the stairs, with nary a care
Maybe dogs aren't afraid, of spiders and such
They may not have fears of anything much

Sparky had found some dirty clothes on the floor
and there settled in while I closed the door
I ran to the car and away we all went
With no thought at all of dog or basement

We drove to the beach and walked all around
I picked up some shells and rocks that I'd found
Across the wet sand, us five we did roam
And as evening approached, it was time to go home

Now dogs don't really like to be home alone
Especially not when their guts start to groan
Poor Sparky was sick, his bowels started to roar
There was quite a mess when Dad opened the door

"Get down there" Dad said, "and clean up that mess!"
I started on down in a state of distress
There was crap on the floor, there was crap on the clothes
I needed a mask, I needed a hose

"I just can't do it." I told my Dad
I hated to say it, I knew he'd be mad
"For crying out loud." he said with a shout
"Just give me that bag, I'll do it no doubt"

I watched from the top of the stairs while my Dad
descended to hell, I knew it was bad
"Oh God!" he declared, and started to retch
The smell was atrocious, and that's not a stretch

Now there were two messes to clean not just one
I ran to my room until it was done
I had to leave so Dad wouldn't hear
my laughter so grand my eyes started to tear

So please keep in mind, whenever you go
To put your dog outside, sun, rain or snow
Or you might come home to an unpleasant surprise
That might leave your kids laughing with tears in their eyes