| Satire Fiction posted June 12, 2021 | Chapters: |
...113 114 -115- 116... 
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Near-death experience
A chapter in the book The Corona saga
The second jab
by Iza Deleanu
The mother fortune Coronella made me do it, yup. I got my second jab and the second day I felt like dodging the bullet.
It's funny how everything can be so deceiving. I got my shot on the 8th of June at 4 p.m. The first sign: immediately after the jab I felt my arm on fire.
I came home energized and in fact, I went to bed around 1 a.m., but in the morning all hell broke loose.
I started to work around 6.30 a.m., at the beginning I started to feel a little bit dizzy, but by 7.30 a.m my feet and hands were super cold and the rest of my body on fire. That second dose of Moderna got the best of me. My body gave up. I felt so sick and nausea kept playing with me.
I couldn't take it anymore,
so I texted my boss to tell her that I need to go and try to rest for half an hour. She asked me if I wanted to take the day off. Gratefully, I accepted.
I was lying on the bed and praying to God to take that feeling of illness away and put me to sleep. I finally dozed off. At 8.30 my Boss called me and asked me to send the nurse an email with my symptoms.
Like bloody hell, woman, you know how I feel, why don't you let me catch my breath, the damn protocol can wait.
On all fours I dragged myself to the desk and with my head in my hands, I initiated the login protocol. When your head weighs a ton, it's so hard to focus and have a successful login. I missed twice... Finally, the third time was a charm. Usually, after the third, you are out and only IT can put you back in business.
Once I was in, I composed a nice email, gave it for correction to my faithful secretary - Grammarly, and pressed the send button and of course cc-d, my boss.
My email ended with a pleading for medical advice.
I waited in front of the computer for a few minutes until the "advice" came back. Here it is:" put a cold compress on the burning arm, take Tylenol every four hours, and for nausea gravol. If in 48 hours the symptoms don't go away, then go for a Covid test. Don't worry these are normal side effects." I thanked both of them and logged off. Normal my foot! It supposed to be zero side effects on the second. At least this time there were different side effects, so I can't complain that the effects are boring.
After I rigged my medicine cabinet, gravol yes, Tylenol- no way, Jose. I asked my husband to go and buy Tylenol. God knows, I specifically asked him for Tylenol for headaches and not for the cold. In the meantime, I shoveled two aspirins on an empty stomach and dragged myself to bed carrying victoriously the bag with ice covered in a kitchen towel.
I started moving that bag of ice around all my burning areas from my body. I asked also for orange juice, Tropicana preferably.
Finally, after an hour, my husband came back with two liters of Tropicana and Tylenol... for cold and flu!
I was afraid to try that Tylenol, so I said pass to it. The last thing I wanted was another complication because of the wrong medication.
I just gave up and took my martini, aka orange juice to bed. That day I ate nada! If you wanna lose some kilos, honestly what you need to do take a second shot of Moderna.
You will get two in one: the jab anti-Coronella and free enrollment in the loss weight program conducted by Doctor Modernella.
The mother fortune Coronella made me do it, yup. I got my second jab and the second day I felt like dodging the bullet.
It's funny how everything can be so deceiving. I got my shot on the 8th of June at 4 p.m. The first sign: immediately after the jab I felt my arm on fire.
I came home energized and in fact, I went to bed around 1 a.m., but in the morning all hell broke loose.
I started to work around 6.30 a.m., at the beginning I started to feel a little bit dizzy, but by 7.30 a.m my feet and hands were super cold and the rest of my body on fire. That second dose of Moderna got the best of me. My body gave up. I felt so sick and nausea kept playing with me.
I couldn't take it anymore,
so I texted my boss to tell her that I need to go and try to rest for half an hour. She asked me if I wanted to take the day off. Gratefully, I accepted.
I was lying on the bed and praying to God to take that feeling of illness away and put me to sleep. I finally dozed off. At 8.30 my Boss called me and asked me to send the nurse an email with my symptoms.
Like bloody hell, woman, you know how I feel, why don't you let me catch my breath, the damn protocol can wait.
On all fours I dragged myself to the desk and with my head in my hands, I initiated the login protocol. When your head weighs a ton, it's so hard to focus and have a successful login. I missed twice... Finally, the third time was a charm. Usually, after the third, you are out and only IT can put you back in business.
Once I was in, I composed a nice email, gave it for correction to my faithful secretary - Grammarly, and pressed the send button and of course cc-d, my boss.
My email ended with a pleading for medical advice.
I waited in front of the computer for a few minutes until the "advice" came back. Here it is:" put a cold compress on the burning arm, take Tylenol every four hours, and for nausea gravol. If in 48 hours the symptoms don't go away, then go for a Covid test. Don't worry these are normal side effects." I thanked both of them and logged off. Normal my foot! It supposed to be zero side effects on the second. At least this time there were different side effects, so I can't complain that the effects are boring.
After I rigged my medicine cabinet, gravol yes, Tylenol- no way, Jose. I asked my husband to go and buy Tylenol. God knows, I specifically asked him for Tylenol for headaches and not for the cold. In the meantime, I shoveled two aspirins on an empty stomach and dragged myself to bed carrying victoriously the bag with ice covered in a kitchen towel.
I started moving that bag of ice around all my burning areas from my body. I asked also for orange juice, Tropicana preferably.
Finally, after an hour, my husband came back with two liters of Tropicana and Tylenol... for cold and flu!
I was afraid to try that Tylenol, so I said pass to it. The last thing I wanted was another complication because of the wrong medication.
I just gave up and took my martini, aka orange juice to bed. That day I ate nada! If you wanna lose some kilos, honestly what you need to do take a second shot of Moderna.
You will get two in one: the jab anti-Coronella and free enrollment in the loss weight program conducted by Doctor Modernella.
It's funny how everything can be so deceiving. I got my shot on the 8th of June at 4 p.m. The first sign: immediately after the jab I felt my arm on fire.
I came home energized and in fact, I went to bed around 1 a.m., but in the morning all hell broke loose.
I started to work around 6.30 a.m., at the beginning I started to feel a little bit dizzy, but by 7.30 a.m my feet and hands were super cold and the rest of my body on fire. That second dose of Moderna got the best of me. My body gave up. I felt so sick and nausea kept playing with me.
I couldn't take it anymore,
so I texted my boss to tell her that I need to go and try to rest for half an hour. She asked me if I wanted to take the day off. Gratefully, I accepted.
I was lying on the bed and praying to God to take that feeling of illness away and put me to sleep. I finally dozed off. At 8.30 my Boss called me and asked me to send the nurse an email with my symptoms.
Like bloody hell, woman, you know how I feel, why don't you let me catch my breath, the damn protocol can wait.
On all fours I dragged myself to the desk and with my head in my hands, I initiated the login protocol. When your head weighs a ton, it's so hard to focus and have a successful login. I missed twice... Finally, the third time was a charm. Usually, after the third, you are out and only IT can put you back in business.
Once I was in, I composed a nice email, gave it for correction to my faithful secretary - Grammarly, and pressed the send button and of course cc-d, my boss.
My email ended with a pleading for medical advice.
I waited in front of the computer for a few minutes until the "advice" came back. Here it is:" put a cold compress on the burning arm, take Tylenol every four hours, and for nausea gravol. If in 48 hours the symptoms don't go away, then go for a Covid test. Don't worry these are normal side effects." I thanked both of them and logged off. Normal my foot! It supposed to be zero side effects on the second. At least this time there were different side effects, so I can't complain that the effects are boring.
After I rigged my medicine cabinet, gravol yes, Tylenol- no way, Jose. I asked my husband to go and buy Tylenol. God knows, I specifically asked him for Tylenol for headaches and not for the cold. In the meantime, I shoveled two aspirins on an empty stomach and dragged myself to bed carrying victoriously the bag with ice covered in a kitchen towel.
I started moving that bag of ice around all my burning areas from my body. I asked also for orange juice, Tropicana preferably.
Finally, after an hour, my husband came back with two liters of Tropicana and Tylenol... for cold and flu!
I was afraid to try that Tylenol, so I said pass to it. The last thing I wanted was another complication because of the wrong medication.
I just gave up and took my martini, aka orange juice to bed. That day I ate nada! If you wanna lose some kilos, honestly what you need to do take a second shot of Moderna.
You will get two in one: the jab anti-Coronella and free enrollment in the loss weight program conducted by Doctor Modernella.
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