Real raw strength
is something
you are born with
but it takes
challenging situations
for it to be
mastered enough
so that you
can pull
just the
right amount
out of you
to make it just
a bit farther
down the road
you're traveling,
when you don't think
you can go any further ...

It seems the more
you go through in life,
the more strength
you acquire
by seeing the
challenges faced
from those adversities ...
It's harder to
find the courage,
more so
than you think!

Have you ever
just taken a moment
to say to yourself,
"How did I ever
withstand that"?
You don't feel
very strong
after those
rough journeys
that you conquered,
but you realize
that you had to have
found the durability
somewhere,
just to have
withstood
those emotions inside ...

I'm amazed
at the resilience
I've had when facing
the darkest
periods of my life.
Of course,
I didn't notice
that when I was
in the midst
of the storm,
only afterwards!
Then it seemed
crystal clear
that I barely
had enough fortitude
to have survived
that situation of pain ...

I've been
in the bathroom,
looking long and hard
at myself
in the mirror,
with lots of tears
running down my face,
and with me
begging that woman
in the reflecting surface,
to just stop crying ...
Just stop!

That is real pain,
searing RAW torture
and it was almost
unbearable!
But somehow,
after a shaky
few moments,
I was able
to cease the tears
and to gather
myself together in
the best way that
I knew how ...
That being said
it certainly
took backbone,
and a LOT of it!
That courage had
to come
from a place
deep within,
in order for me
to press on
despite all
the horrific agony
that was encased
around me ...

Next time,
I will be totally aware
of my feelings
and of the challenging
situation I'm facing ...
I will notice the toughness
I've exhibited
throughout other situations,
several different times.
It takes quite a bit
of resolve
for any individual
to display
that particular level
of fearlessness ...

I don't give myself
enough credit
for being the hero
in my own life ...
It takes a
true champion
to handle what
I've had to grasp ...
Otherwise, I would've
remained broken
and miserable
in my daily existence,
never getting past
the skepticism
that life would
most certainly
decide to throw at me
as a human being ...

So I love my
individuality
and I'm thankful
that I was able
to protect myself
and save
me personally
as someone ...
who is
extremely strong ...
I'm mastering
my deepest soul ...
I will embrace that
knowledge today
because that is the
epitome of wisdom
and strength!
I'm a total
and complete wonder!