Humor Flash Fiction posted January 20, 2021 |
Accidental one-liner shall live in family lore
To Dora: Tribute with a Twist
by Elizabeth Emerald
Dora, my former mother-in-law, age 99, is knocking on Heaven's door. She'll likely be granted entry before the week is out.
We'd expected to celebrate her Big One-Oh-Oh ten months hence. A pair of heart attacks in quick succession has put paid to party plans.
As I write, Dora lies snuggled up to Morpheus on the hospice ward.
If I were to construe this piece as eulogy, I'd feel obliged to enumerate Dora's stellar qualities, such as her tremendous devotion to her grandchildren, yada, yada. Mercifully, for the reader, I shall simply share an anecdote.
I don't flatter myself as raconteur; it's doubtful you'll find this tidbit as delicious as I do. Be that as it may, recall that I've spared you a maudlin litany of a century's worth of highlights. On those grounds, I ask that you kindly indulge me by mustering up a chuckle.
Flustered and defensive at the unpleasant reminder that her son (note: the other son, not my ex) "had to get married," Dora said:
"They only did it once and it was a terrible accident."
THIS JUST IN: Dora died circa 5:30 this morning.
Dora, my former mother-in-law, age 99, is knocking on Heaven's door. She'll likely be granted entry before the week is out.
We'd expected to celebrate her Big One-Oh-Oh ten months hence. A pair of heart attacks in quick succession has put paid to party plans.
As I write, Dora lies snuggled up to Morpheus on the hospice ward.
If I were to construe this piece as eulogy, I'd feel obliged to enumerate Dora's stellar qualities, such as her tremendous devotion to her grandchildren, yada, yada. Mercifully, for the reader, I shall simply share an anecdote.
I don't flatter myself as raconteur; it's doubtful you'll find this tidbit as delicious as I do. Be that as it may, recall that I've spared you a maudlin litany of a century's worth of highlights. On those grounds, I ask that you kindly indulge me by mustering up a chuckle.
Flustered and defensive at the unpleasant reminder that her son (note: the other son, not my ex) "had to get married," Dora said:
"They only did it once and it was a terrible accident."
THIS JUST IN: Dora died circa 5:30 this morning.
We'd expected to celebrate her Big One-Oh-Oh ten months hence. A pair of heart attacks in quick succession has put paid to party plans.
As I write, Dora lies snuggled up to Morpheus on the hospice ward.
If I were to construe this piece as eulogy, I'd feel obliged to enumerate Dora's stellar qualities, such as her tremendous devotion to her grandchildren, yada, yada. Mercifully, for the reader, I shall simply share an anecdote.
I don't flatter myself as raconteur; it's doubtful you'll find this tidbit as delicious as I do. Be that as it may, recall that I've spared you a maudlin litany of a century's worth of highlights. On those grounds, I ask that you kindly indulge me by mustering up a chuckle.
Flustered and defensive at the unpleasant reminder that her son (note: the other son, not my ex) "had to get married," Dora said:
"They only did it once and it was a terrible accident."
THIS JUST IN: Dora died circa 5:30 this morning.
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