| Humor Fiction posted January 16, 2021 |
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Sentence Story Contest Entry
Who Knew?
by DragonSkulls
There was a knock on the door.
I had a cold and definitely was not in the mood for company. Another knock. I asked, "Who is it?"
"It's Fred. Can you help me out?" I didn't know anybody named Fred but I went ahead and opened the door. My jaw dropped open in disbelief. There at my front door stood a three-foot tall, bug-eyed alien. The afternoon sun glimmered off of his lime green skin. In shock, I slowly backed away from the door. He followed me into the house, politely closing the door behind him. "Thanks, dude."
I shrieked, "What is this, an alien invasion?"
"No, it's just me. You see..."
"Are you here to abduct me?"
"Why on earth would I want to do that? I only want to..."
"Are you here to scan or remove my brain?"
The alien closed his eyes and shook his head. "Of course not. Why would I want that worthless thing?"
The panic was rising and my heart was rapidly pounding. I coughed a couple of times before I asked, "Are you here to anally probe me?"
The alien got a look of disgust on his face. "Gross. Why does every human I come across think I want to cram something up their ass? How that ridiculous rumor ever got started, I'll never know. No, belive me, your butthole is quite safe. If you'd just let me talk..."
"What then? Do you want me to take you to my leader?"
"Which moron would that be, the one leaving or the one coming? No, I don't need..."
I didn't wait for him to finish. I darted into the kitchen and frantically started filling a pitcher with water. The only thing going through my head was the movie I saw years ago called "Signs" with Mel Gibson. In it, water was extremely toxic to aliens.
When Fred walked through the kitchen door, I turned and splashed him down and stood there waiting for the results. Again, he just shook his head. "You know that was just a stupid movie, right? We drink water too...just like you."
"Then what is it you want?"
"Finally. All I need to do is use your phone. My spaceship broke down up the street and I just need to make a phone call."
"That's all?"
"Yes. If you would have let me had two seconds to talk, you would have known that by now. And I would have been out of your life...and dry."
I threw him a dishtowel and grabbed my phone. "Okay. Sorry about that, I guess." I handed it to him. "E.T. phone home?"
"Oh, you're a riot." He dialed the phone and while waiting for whoever was on the other end, he looked at me and said, "You don't look so hot, friend. You need a Sudafed or some Nyquil or something like that?"
Blowing my nose I answered, "No, I'm good. I've just been under the weather lately."
I was wanting to hear him speak in his alien tongue to the mothership he was calling. It turns out he was only calling AAA for a tow. When he was leaving he thanked me and said, "I never did catch your name."
"Mike."
"I really appreciate it, Mike, and I'll see you around." He paused for effect, lowered his voice and added, "But next time I might not come in peace." He laughed at my reaction and finished with, "Only joking, friend. Later." Then I watched little, green Fred walk away.
~
The next day I got my results and found out I tested positive for covid. Who knew that I would single handedly be responsible for the infection and imminent downfall of the entire universe.
Sentence writing prompt entry
There was a knock on the door.
I had a cold and definitely was not in the mood for company. Another knock. I asked, "Who is it?"
"It's Fred. Can you help me out?" I didn't know anybody named Fred but I went ahead and opened the door. My jaw dropped open in disbelief. There at my front door stood a three-foot tall, bug-eyed alien. The afternoon sun glimmered off of his lime green skin. In shock, I slowly backed away from the door. He followed me into the house, politely closing the door behind him. "Thanks, dude."
I shrieked, "What is this, an alien invasion?"
"No, it's just me. You see..."
"Are you here to abduct me?"
"Why on earth would I want to do that? I only want to..."
"Are you here to scan or remove my brain?"
The alien closed his eyes and shook his head. "Of course not. Why would I want that worthless thing?"
The panic was rising and my heart was rapidly pounding. I coughed a couple of times before I asked, "Are you here to anally probe me?"
The alien got a look of disgust on his face. "Gross. Why does every human I come across think I want to cram something up their ass? How that ridiculous rumor ever got started, I'll never know. No, belive me, your butthole is quite safe. If you'd just let me talk..."
"What then? Do you want me to take you to my leader?"
"Which moron would that be, the one leaving or the one coming? No, I don't need..."
I didn't wait for him to finish. I darted into the kitchen and frantically started filling a pitcher with water. The only thing going through my head was the movie I saw years ago called "Signs" with Mel Gibson. In it, water was extremely toxic to aliens.
When Fred walked through the kitchen door, I turned and splashed him down and stood there waiting for the results. Again, he just shook his head. "You know that was just a stupid movie, right? We drink water too...just like you."
"Then what is it you want?"
"Finally. All I need to do is use your phone. My spaceship broke down up the street and I just need to make a phone call."
"That's all?"
"Yes. If you would have let me had two seconds to talk, you would have known that by now. And I would have been out of your life...and dry."
I threw him a dishtowel and grabbed my phone. "Okay. Sorry about that, I guess." I handed it to him. "E.T. phone home?"
"Oh, you're a riot." He dialed the phone and while waiting for whoever was on the other end, he looked at me and said, "You don't look so hot, friend. You need a Sudafed or some Nyquil or something like that?"
Blowing my nose I answered, "No, I'm good. I've just been under the weather lately."
I was wanting to hear him speak in his alien tongue to the mothership he was calling. It turns out he was only calling AAA for a tow. When he was leaving he thanked me and said, "I never did catch your name."
"Mike."
"I really appreciate it, Mike, and I'll see you around." He paused for effect, lowered his voice and added, "But next time I might not come in peace." He laughed at my reaction and finished with, "Only joking, friend. Later." Then I watched little, green Fred walk away.
~
The next day I got my results and found out I tested positive for covid. Who knew that I would single handedly be responsible for the infection and imminent downfall of the entire universe.
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Writing Prompt Write a story that starts with this sentence: There was a knock on the door. |
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