| General Script posted October 24, 2020 |
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a Pons and Ned script
Scene at a Diner 4
by Bill Schott
Previously: Pons: Okay. Let's hear the last three and then I'll finish telling you about the movie. Server: Pickled carrot, peppered grape, bacon mustard, jalipena cranberry, spinach paste, succotash puree, fish-eye swirl, creamed sauerkraut, rhubarb jam, radish relish, gummy worms, and honey. ========================== Characters: Pons = bright dude Ned = dimmer Fed = rotund fellow Hed = brainy Server = central casting The scene continues again in a diner. These four men are still sitting in a concave booth at center stage. The server is delivering their meal. Ned: Hey fellers. Know what I'd be iffn I got me one a these tongues served up wit bow tie passtah? Fed: Tongue tied? Hed: Arrested? Pons: On a date with Sookie Toledo? Ned: Ya got that right, Cuz. I happen ta know that gal likes ta put the feed bag on win there's good eatin' like this here. Fed: I dated her sister Holly last month. Hed: Holly Toledo? You are kidding, of course. Pons: No, her name is Holly. Ned: Yeah, I heard she eats like it's the last day before a famine. Fed: We just had a light brunch before we left on our date. Hed: Where did you go? Fed: Lunch. Ned: So, Pons, we gonna hear the end a yer bagel stirry Fed: It was doughnuts, Ned. The Dirty Delicious Dozen Doughnuts. Hed: I believe my tongue is undercooked. Pons: It's always a bit chewy, Hed. Ned: Jis bite it like yer chewin' off a gecker's head. Hed: Good Lord! A gecko? Why would I ever bite a gecko's head off? Ned: I only do it win I fergit ta carry my toad sticker. Fed: Pot stickers would be great with tongue. Maybe I'll stop by Wah Wong on the way home. Hed: The story, Pons? Pons: Right. Well, the Navy seal baker lost all his convict cooks to the guerrilla fighters, but he managed to scarf up the rest of the doughnuts and even two blueberry pies and some mince tarts. Ned: Them Navy-type Sealers are all the time doin' more'n's aspected. Hed: My tongue has some sort of ulcer on it. Pons: A little fish-eye swirl will cover that and make it go down better. Ned: Hey fellers. If I had a ferk in my tongue, what do I got? Fed: A forked tongue? Hed: An eating disorder? Pons: I don't know, Ned. What I do know is I'm going to need a dessert. Ned: Let's git some doughnuts. Fed: Our server said there were no doughnuts here. Hed: Perhaps Afghanistan is still open. The group chuckles as the scene ends. The End
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