One Direction

by Harambe iz ur Daddy

My mind has been troubled all day
I am brought to my knees down to pray
Will you please tell me God
If you think it is odd
That the roll is now facing that way?

Could it be that it's hiding a chunk
Or a smear or a speck from some skunk
Who while birthing a stinker
Has crapped on his finger
And hid it away like a punk?

Why is it the paper is facing away,
Embarrassed to bare itself for my butt-fay?
I cannot abide
When you show your backside
And my day is gone ashen and grey

I remember a time we were friends
When I'd scrawl on your fibers with pens
And we'd stay up all night
We were so super tight
And my anus could trust you to cleanse

If your heresy facing the wrong way goes on
I'm warning you next time I sit on the john
You better obey
Or I'll buy a bidet
And you'll never go upstream to spawn

To prevent this poor roll's purgatory
Or a fate that is equally gory
Please make sure that the end
Is on your side, my friend
So your Angel Soft goes on to glory

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Soliloquy: A Monologue contest entry

>> Click for music <<

Note: the above track shows the correct cadence for speaking the limerick. Click here for a recording with a better singer where stanzas 3 and 5 are sung with the wrong cadence.

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