By Liz O'Neill
Mickey knew the rules of the road. He followed them every night on his way home from work on his bicycle. He would sit on the yellow line waiting to cross to the left, onto the adjacent street, readying to cross traffic as soon as it settled down.
That evening his routine was no different. He was following the rules of the road. However, someone was speeding onto the scene who was not following the rules of the road. They would in moments, assume the role of the main character in a tragic cautionary tale. This was the Ides of March, a date we will never forget. Mickey's 40th birthday occurring on the 23rd would not be celebrated until the following year.
The oncoming driver traveling at 30 mi an hour must have known the rules of the road. He had his mind on other issues, shoving any alertness aside. A pastor, he deemed something else more important. He was scheduled to give a talk to a group of young people. I think he may have been studying the directions to his destination, memorizing the schedule, or refreshing himself with the familiarity of his talk.
The truth all too soon spewed out revealing the bitter fact that the driver was looking down at something on the passenger's seat and giving no attention to where he was driving, a major rule of the road. He did not see Mickey who had lights on the back of his bicycle and reflectors on the pedals, also a rule of the road.
This was previous to any regulations regarding bicycle helmets. Ironically Mickey would not mount his motorcycle without a regulation helmet, however, the urgency for bicycle helmets was a thing of the future.
The force of the impact of a car flying at 30 miles an hour colliding with a young fellow coming home from work on his well-reflected bicycle, waiting to cross the road was so severe it flipped Mickey over the back of his bicycle slamming the front and side of his head onto the windshield of the car.
He was immediately transported to the local hospital where he began his arduous journey to recovery. I was at a meeting for my workplace, the battered women's shelter, when I received the startling, shocking, traumatizing news. A friend from work sat with me for a while until they had to leave.
As I sat there alone, listening to the silence and as an empath, absorbing everyone's emotions, I knew I had to get out of there as soon as possible. I was panicking. I didn't want to be there, I didn't want to be facing the reality of what was happening. We didn't know if he would live or die.
He lay there in his secured bed lifeless and motionless. With chaos and medical technology beeping away. Everyone who went to visit him attempted to rouse him by saying something such as, "Remember when..." from the desperate past or anything that was going to inspire him and perk him up. We each longingly hoped it would be us who brought him around.
How uncanny the dynamics, when a loved one is in critical condition. Everyone reviews how significant their relationship is to the victim, as if it were a contest. Who is the more important one?
A loving wife who had spent 14 years of her life with him? A mother who bore him and had worried him into adulthood. Or a sister who believed since they could recognize each other as siblings she was responsible for keeping him from all harm. She messed this one up.
There would be no joy served until he had progressed through several more stages. Hope was spurned when the realization struck us, one by one. Though he was reacting to people squeezing his hand by squeezing their's back, that pretty well meant nothing.
It was merely part of the second stage for him to respond to a hand squeeze. He was at no point along the stages of recovery to become aware of people squeezing his hand or talking to him. He was in a coma which would last months. We will follow those stages as he progresses.
In the third stage he became very agitated and continuously moved around in his bed still located in the emergency room department. This behavior ripped at our hearts. It was obvious he was not in any position to be listening to anything or anyone.
There was no room for, "Remember when you had that motorcycle?" or "Remember when you worked for CVPS?" Then it got to questions that tore our guts away, "Do you remember your kids?" "Do you remember me?" It would be a long while before he would recognize who we were.
When he became more placid and seemed to be moving onto the next stage, the doctors deemed it safe to move him to his own hospital room. There we could have many people sitting in his room giving him support. This was the progress he was making within stage three.
I was there for a bizarre event. His wife was feeding him. His eyes suddenly popped open. It was very creepy because he was like a baby with eyes open and was unseeing, unresponding. Once again hopes fluttered and crashed within the room. He would soon be transported to a recovery center in Lewis Bay on Cape Cod. We would no longer see him for nearly 8 months.
When he reached the recovery hospital on Cape Cod, he sky-rocketed Into stage 4, the violent reactive stage. It's good he was down there and we were up here. The staff knew how to deal with him. He was physically and medically restrained in a wheelchair. He had not yet relearned to walk.
The hospital was attached to a nursing home. Mickey escaped the supervision of the staff. He stealthily maneuvered next door and managed to communicate with one of the residents.
He asked her, "Do you have any cutters?" He wanted to get out of his restraints. The two of them made plans to get away from it all. Fortunately, he was found and returned to his area.
Another time he wanted to find where his wife was sleeping and headed out to find the building. He never did find the building housing his wife. When he turned around to head back to the hospital building he found the entrance. The first responders seeing him, yelled, "We found you, we found you." Mickey said,"No I found you."
Author Notes | I'm beginning to write a new book about my brother and his being hit by a car and becoming terminally brain injured. I want to show the full life he lived before his accident. |
By Liz O'Neill
Author Notes | This particular chapter weaves in out about when he was at his recovery place and was using the phone to communicate with others. It turned out relating for his wife & traumatic for me |
By Liz O'Neill
Author Notes | I want Mike to realize what a full life he lived before his accident. |
By Liz O'Neill
Author Notes | I'm hoping people will gain more insight into several things here head injury and also the danger that the electrical power workers endure |
By Liz O'Neill
Author Notes | As you can see mickey did many good things for people when he went out and did his ministry work. I want people to see who he was and how now most of it is lost. |
By Liz O'Neill
You may wonder for how long and for what reason Mickey wanted to better himself physically and athletically. You may figure it has to do with his father's encouragement. That ship has sailed.
His father did teach him how to play golf but I would imagine it was to afford more opportunity to belittle him and try to control him with humiliation.
He could prance around with his son as a trophy. However, that did not work very well because I don't think Mickey was more than an average golfer.
For his whole childhood, Mickey always scored low in any of his athletic or sports endeavors. None of us knew why he couldn't catch the ball when it came toward him.
It dropped in front of him or behind him. It never landed in his glove.
When the ball was thrown to him, he missed it every time. When he stood at bat ready to hit the ball pitched to him he swung the bat with great hope, only to miss it, as they say, by a mile. He struck out every time. Now I know why, he wasn't interested in playing softball in our lot across from our house.
I'm wondering if any of you have figured out even before Mickey did what could possibly be the problem. His first reveal which was quite stunning, occurred when he was taking a test to be able to acquire his license. There was a picture in front of him with two trees near a car. His task was to tell which tree was closer to the car.
The way he perceived the picture was that both trees were equidistant. You may have an inkling what the findings will show. When he was in college it was confirmed for him. Maybe some of you guessed it. He lacked depth perception. He wanted to sign up for the Roxi program.
He hoped to join the reserve officer program where he could be an air navigator guiding the pilots. He was disappointed when it was confirmed that he did not have any depth perception and would not be suitable for the program.
Yes, it's depth perception, an important part of his vision. It would help him see objects in three dimensions and understand how far away they were. It is very clear to me why he could never catch the ball.
We didn't know why he couldn't catch a ball that came flying at him. I'm sure he wondered why he continuously missed the ball. He must have felt like a failure all of the time which is probably why he shied away from playing games where a ball was moving toward him. He was expected to make contact with the ball using a bat or his foot in kickball.
Everyone's judgment arousing puzzlement could then be wiped clean, especially for his father. I suspect at that point his father didn't care. He'd kind of written Mickey off as it was.
I'm not so sure Mickey cared either because I think his father's rules, regulations, and expectations had gotten old. I don't think Mickey cared to please his father anymore anyway.
He did become a good pool shark. He had great enjoyment with some of his pool buddies. Around the '70s he joined a group called Marble Valley Ridge Runners.
He made many friends in that group and was inspired to continue doing well. There was no criticism only encouragement coming from the group.
They would gather in Amherst, Massachusetts to run either a 5K 3.1 mile in length or a 10k measuring 6.2 miles. He laughs to think that sometimes in Rutland they would gather at a location across from the hospital.
This reminded him of the delusional idea he had when he was at Lewis Bay in his TBI treatment. You may remember when he was out exercising learning to walk, he got the idea that would be a great plan.
A boxing ring could be established for matches to occur near the treatment center. If anyone sustained a head injury, especially a TBI in a brutal knock-out, the staff members could just wheel them over to the Treatment Center.
This same amusing scenario occurred to Mickey when he was lining up at his starting block waiting for the gun to go off. He glanced across the road to spy the local general hospital.
Where he stood at the ready, would be a perfect location to schedule the runners to gather to begin and end. Any runner or spectator calling for medical attention would be right by the hospital and could be zipped across the road for any emergency services.
Another great idea coming from Mickey's kaleidoscope mind.
He may not have been making high scores in athletics but he certainly was getting high scores in school. He didn't have to do much of anything to learn what the teacher was trying to convey.
With his ADD, Attention deficit disorder he didn't present well as far as paying attention in class. However, he mysteriously scored A's on his tests. Even with his TBI, he is extremely bright and doesn't hesitate to remind his sister of that.
Back in the day if Mickey got an A his father rewarded him with quarters. Mickey walked away with many quarters, one for every subject.
Despite the behavior and symptoms of his ADD and his HA Hyperactivity Activity, the teachers liked him. They considered him a likable fellow. Is ADD since his head injury is over the top he can maintain a focus for about 4 minutes and then he switches to some other shiny object.
Sometimes in high school, he did become too disruptive which caused the teacher to dismiss him from the classroom to the bench outside in the hallway. He was unable to sit still or keep his mind on things.
When he was in the lower grades he had many friends. He didn't ever seem to get bullied like many in his neighborhood did. He knew to stay under the radar enough to never stir up any potential disruptions.
The only place he might have gotten into fights was in our neighborhood where we had many fistfights, and rock-throwing at each other. Even that activity occurred in friendly fun.
Author Notes | I want readers to know how active and full of life my brother was before his accident. |
By Liz O'Neill
Author Notes | I'm pleased Mike was able to do so well with talent in music |
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