By LisaMay
Prologue:
For my daily contributions to National Poetry Month, I will be writing 5-7-5 poems describing my personal responses while living alone under national lockdown here in southern New Zealand.
As I write, our southern area has the highest number of positive tests for the virus in NZ. So far, we have been spared the terrible ravages of other countries, with just one death, and hopefully this lockdown will break the transmission chain of infection.
•
Let’s go for a walk --
out on a ‘bear hunt’, we’ll balk
at how death does stalk.
•
A cruel wind now blows.
These teddy bears in windows,
bright delight bestows.
•
When we cross the street,
it’s to avoid, not to meet --
we won’t face defeat.
•
We must stay apart.
Be kind; keep a loving heart
to greet joy’s restart.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
In reference to the 'bear hunt' in the poem: Worldwide, people are placing teddy bears in their windows so people out walking can see them, like a community scavenger hunt to suit social distancing. |
By LisaMay
•
Company of ducks
frolicking at local pond
brings cheer to my day.
•
I envy the ducks’
green iridescent feathers:
they can fly away.
•
Yet they, too, squabble
and chase each other to peck
each ruffled feather.
•
Even with freedom,
fam’ly, and a swimming pool,
they still want much more.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Notes:
Under Covid-19 lockdown here in New Zealand we have to stay home, only allowed to leave to buy food or get medical supplies, but also allowed to walk locally for exercise. I am lucky that our city's Botanic Garden is in my neighbourhood; I always enjoy spending time at the duck pond. I never thought I could get jealous of a duck! |
By LisaMay
•
An Aladdin’s cave,
when I want what I can’t have,
becomes a prison.
•
I look around me.
What do I hold important
when I can’t hold you?
•
Can I make a wish?
I wish that all our wishes
could always come true.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
In my home I am surrounded by all manner of items for distraction, recreation, information, entertainment, and creativity, but when freedom is removed, that is the one thing I crave. Enforced isolation (alone, in my case), also emphasises thoughts of companionship, and focuses on who and what is important to us. |
By LisaMay
•
In isolation,
marooned in desolation,
I crave your fun-shine.
•
Stroking your soft fur,
being licked by your rough tongue:
comfort in hard times.
•
I can add sparkle,
documenting dreary daze,
recalling your eyes.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
I am in my Covid-19 lockdown bubble by myself -- missing my cat, who died last year. I wanted to get a kitten from the animal shelter the day before lockdown, but I had to prioritise going somewhere else. The shelter closed before I got back and I was not able to give a kitty cat and myself a better life. |
By LisaMay
•
Wittily wielding
wobbly wordplays of wisdom,
woe, and wonder.
•
I will paint and draw
on my imagination --
that’s my sketchy plan.
•
A peaceful pastime --
painting patterns on pebbles,
practising patience.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Aren't we lucky to have the pleasure and ability of creativity to amuse us and occupy time? I am spending much of this enforced isolation at my work table, doing creative activities -- writing poetry and decorating small pebbles taken from my garden path (that's some of them in the accompanying photo). I am making fridge magnets from them, hopefully to sell once our freedom is regained. Nobody will have any money to spend then, but at least the exercise is keeping my fingers nimble. The poetry is keeping my mind agile, writing FanStory contributions. |
By LisaMay
•
Daylight saving ends.
We fall back on borrowed time --
Summer fun’s now gone.
•
In hopeful moments,
solar energy is free --
stored for future use.
•
Adapting to change,
when sunny spot moves along,
I will go with it.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Here in New Zealand, today we turned our clocks back an hour as we leave Summer daylight-saving time and move through Autumn into the colder months. In the poem, 'fall' refers to Autumn, and 'on borrowed time' refers to current pandemic events, as well as the extra hour of daylight saving time. The poem was inspired by thoughts of my departed cat -- how she loved being in the sunny spot. I've used the sunshine as a metaphor for hope, and my desire to continue living hopefully and positively. |
By LisaMay
•
In time’s tedium,
will I observe paint drying
or watch grass growing?
•
I will mow the grass;
it’s nearly high as my arse.
Alas! – out of gas.
•
I moan and I weep;
if only I had a sheep,
I could then just sleep.
•
Neighbours had a goat.
It died of a case of bloat –
ate an overcoat.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Under lockdown, time seems to crawl. It feels that suddenly there is so much of it. The idioms 'watching paint dry' or 'watching grass grow' express the feeling of being bored. I am not someone who gets bored, and I am not a lazy person, but I do find some activities less appealing than others, so I ignore them. Mowing the lawn is one of them - however, I have neglected this task for too long, and now it really is too long. ('Arse' is Aussie/Kiwi English.) The verse about the goat is not true; I live in suburbia and I donā??t think the civic authorities would approve of farm animals in the neighbourhood. A Fanstory writer, Pantygynt, suggested I should have a goat instead of a sheep, so I added the last verse. |
By LisaMay
•
Confronting crisis,
clamour of catastrophe
ev’rywhere abounds.
•
It’s too much for me.
Shut up, shut up, shut up, now!
Too close for comfort.
•
I turn the news off;
overdose of disaster
needs gentle relief.
•
Stuck in amber tones,
golden honey of silence
slides into my soul.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
While it is important to keep informed, sometimes the news can feel overwhelming, especially hearing the terrible statistics of deaths elsewhere. I often find comfort in silence, but too much of that can be a mood-downer as well - it can make me feel like an insect stuck in amber, in suspended animation. |
By LisaMay
•
From behind closed doors,
I pine for mountain heights and
forested valleys.
•
It’s in my nature:
loving flora and fauna,
seeking wilderness.
•
Existence is tame,
fenced in these strict city streets.
I want to go wild.
•
| Author Notes |
Author]s Note:
(Illustration from a painting by LisaMay.) I am an outdoors person; I really enjoy hiking and camping. Here in New Zealand there are plenty of opportunities to be surrounded by natural beauty, and some of my best experiences have come from time spent in wilderness areas. 'Existence' is not living a full life, merely being alive. Lockdown began here the week I was booked to go to Stewart Island/Rakiura, off New Zealand's southern coast, to enjoy remote wilderness with a friend. Having to cancel plans and stay home is very exasperating. |
By LisaMay
•
My home, my castle:
I withdraw within my walls.
Easter staycation.
•
Pricking my bubble,
I have become deflated.
I berate myself.
•
What can I improve?
I spin within, self-centred.
Who might need MY help?
•
I can reach out, too.
Don’t call me, I will call you!
Are YOU feeling blue?
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
No vacations for anyone this long weekend. The best way to avoid becoming self-absorbed introverts in times of stress is to be involved in trying to enhance other people's lives. We can close down and become selfish, or we can try to uplift others, and in the process inspire ourselves as better people. |
By LisaMay
•
As we hunker down,
these forbidding ill winds blow
a chill in the air.
•
Trees on the hillside
shed their flimsy golden leaves.
I add warmer clothes.
•
Another leaf falls,
adding to others piled up,
and then another.
•
Bags of fallen leaves
waiting to be cremated.
May they rest in peace.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Here in southern New Zealand the days of autumn are shortening and becoming colder. I am spending a lot of my time at my work table, situated in a bay window that looks across a residential valley to a tree-clothed hillside. Many of the trees are deciduous; seeing the changing colours is a delight. As well as the city's botanic garden, there is a public park within walking distance of my home, so I go there to see beautiful trees as well. Numerous lives are dropping like autumn leaves in this time of loss. |
By LisaMay
•
Avenues to God,
overlooking my valley:
steep streets and steeples.
•
As I slowly plod,
I draw nearer to my God:
an uphill battle.
•
Do I dare to doubt,
’midst angels and miracles?
Hope, you are still there.
•
As we pray in faith,
crisis of this dread disease
brings us to our knees.
•
Lord of life and love,
sacrifice wins over death.
We will rise, renewed.
•
God’s grace, we pray,
will inspire us on the way
to salvation’s day.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
The suburb I live in is an older one, built on hillsides and studded with churches of different denominations. (The church in the accompanying photo is one of them.) Some churches, with no current congregations, have been sold and repurposed, but it clearly was a church-going neighbourhood last century. These days, New Zealand is a rather secular society, but very accepting of religious diversity. In my poem I have alluded to drawing nearer to my God as an uphill battle. This is literal as well as figurative. I live close to the acknowledged steepest street in the world, as featured in the Guinness Book of World Records. In times of death and loss, faith can waver for some; in others it will be strengthened. For many, this Easter will be a time when worship brings comfort. The power of prayer is immeasurable. |
By LisaMay
•
While stuck here, inside,
I welcome my windy day’s
flatulent fanfare.
•
A blast from the past,
the din’s better out than in;
gleefully childish.
•
I try to make burps
and yodel my silliness.
These playmates are fun!
•
Using my reserves,
I am having to make/do.
Ingenuity!
•
When we are set free,
will I know how to behave
as a lady should?
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
I love different weather condition of sun, rain, and wind. Having to spend more time indoors is challenging under lockdown, especially with no one else at home for interaction. I am sure a lot of people are being very inventive about how they entertain themselves and their families. Getting in touch with my inner rude child, I have discovered a musical knack for burping and farting (depending on what I've eaten). Yodelling is more difficult. Fortuitously, I live in a house by myself with the neighbours at some distance. I'm sure they would be banging on the walls in complaint if I lived in an apartment. |
By LisaMay
•
I turn up the tune,
dance with vacuum cleaner
and bounce off the walls.
•
When time was precious
I stored up each chore.
Now, with time, they bore.
•
Mr. Hoover sucks:
he lacks personality
and his heart is dark.
•
Shall I try Sam Spade?
I’d prefer Humphrey Bogart,
but would he dig me?
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
There's ALWAYS something better to do that the housework. Because I expect no visitors, I can get away with lower standards for a while. Shame on me! I put loud music on when I am vacuuming (my machine is a Hoover brand). I live alone, so I don't have a dance partner except for Mr. Hoover. I don't like gardening much either. Did you detect that Sam Spade was a character played by actor Humphrey Bogart? (In 'The Maltese Falcon'). |
By LisaMay
•
Dark emotions lurk;
subconscious thoughts
bubble to surface.
•
My dreams are daunting
when moonlight muddles meanings.
Daylight brings insight.
•
My sunny nature
resurrects itself again:
life, love, happiness.
•
I see you next door,
grimly weeding your garden.
“Hello, how are you?”
•
We will smile brightly;
we connect, disinfected,
but mask our feelings.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
I've been having weird dreams lately, rather unsettling, bleak ones; probably not surprising given all the bad news we are absorbing. My next door neighbours and I have been friends for over twenty-five years, so we know each other well. I chatted over the fence the other day, but keeping a distance made the exchange seem strange. Wearing a mask is the new fashion accessory it seems -- even some public sculptures are wearing them. We wear different social 'masks' at times. I'm experimenting with facial masks at home, with no risk of someone coming to the door unexpectedly. |
By LisaMay
•
Got the birthday blues,
but I’ll wear a happy face
while dressed in my best.
•
In party of one,
I will entertain myself
by cooking a feast.
•
After I say grace,
food on my prettiest plate,
I will dine in style.
•
Attuned to the blues,
and a croon from Ol’ Blue Eyes,
Moody Blues for me.
•
When the thrill is gone,
I’ll let my midnight special
serve up a spoonful.
•
Temptation taunts me:
trio of guilt-wrapped choc’lates...
and then there were none.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Being alone for my birthday today, I pretended I was entertaining a group of friends. I got dressed nicely in proper clothes (out of my pyjamas for a change), and cooked a meal fit for guests. I was delighted to discover a bottle of wine on my back doorstep as a surprise gift from my next-door neighbours, and another nearby friend delivered a handmade mask as a present. Those among you who like music will recognise references in the above poem to Frank Sinatra, the Moody Blues, and blues music song titles: The Thrill is Gone, Midnight Special, and Spoonful. |
By LisaMay
•
When friends greet, hearts meet;
body language can be seen:
we read each other.
•
I am a closed book.
Who will take me off the shelf
to open my secrets?
•
Confinement is our
common denominator;
empathy of thoughts.
•
Caress the airwaves;
touch me with your caring voice,
feeling you close by.
•
Reach me with your words;
share our parallel worlds
as these lines converge.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
The phone is a vital means of keeping in touch, whether for emergency or just companionship. When living alone as I do, in a solo bubble with no one to talk to, hug or touch, the welcome sound of a friend's voice can brighten my day. I also enjoy listening to familiar voices on the radio. I have a small transistor radio on the pillow next to me at night; I feel like I have come to know the program announcers more personally. |
By LisaMay
•
At battle’s frontline,
more than ‘just doing your job’,
to serve and to save.
•
Ev’ryday heroes:
gratefully we applaud your
bravery and skill.
•
Facing the next wave,
you confront these testing times,
striving for control.
•
Compassionate care
when family can’t be there
for final goodbyes.
•
While we hide at home,
enduring guarded lockdown,
you are the key staff.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
The challenges facing our medical workers are huge. I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to see illness and death every day. What an emotional toll it must take, while remaining professional and delivering top level care, also knowing their own lives are at risk with proximity to the virus. |
By LisaMay
•
It’s a gloomy day.
On darkly frowning hillsides
clouds lower their brows.
•
Rain on window pane;
solitary tears trickle
tracks of tragedy.
•
Weather-dependent,
need my own ray of sunshine
to change emotions.
•
Sudden burst of sun:
evening energy awakes
streaks across the sky.
•
Beauty touched with light
shows how dark can turn to bright,
hopeful in His sight.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Some days drag interminably, and when the weather is inclement the mood can stay gloomy as well. It can be a major act of self-motivation to elevate my spirits, but sunshine and beauty are helpful assistants. |
By LisaMay
•
Data entry work:
number-crunching statistics
figuring it out.
•
Diagnoses, prognoses,
and such extrapolations:
more names for ‘guesswork’?
•
With analysis,
losses and gains projections
magnify our doubts.
•
How to handle facts
when we don’t know what they are:
public misinformed.
•
Truth will often lie
obscured by others with a
private agenda.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
In these times when it is so easy to fake news, or even call it fake when it is true, how can we gauge what is reliable? Can we trust supposedly knowledgeable sources? What is 'expert' opinion based on? Are strings being pulled, pockets lined, and manipulations of public freedom happening for ulterior purposes? By whom? Where? Why? The conspiracy whisperers are finding their voices. They always do. And why do they say there are millions of PPE items (personal protective equipment) but frontline staff are running out of them? And just how many people have actually died in China? And just how long, really, is a piece of string? |
By LisaMay
•
Slouching in peejays,
my solo motivation
does not work for me.
•
I tick myself off.
Don’t let crisis go to waste
my checklist of chores.
•
Marathon effort
to overcome lethargy.
Time’s running away.
•
Mental gymnastics
to keep my brain elastic.
A run? Too drastic!
•
Gardening workout –
rake and hoe, both on the go;
squat, lift, sweep, dig deep.
•
Now I want to sleep,
exhausted by this effort.
Should have just said: “Eff it!”
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
peejays = pyjamas I have become a victim to Parkinson's Law ("Work expands to fill the time available for its completion"). This means that if you give yourself a week to complete a two-hour task, then (psychologically speaking) the task will increase in complexity and become more daunting so as to fill that week. Under lockdown, given that we don't know when this will be over, time is an unknown duration and procrastination can set in. However, I DID MOW THE LAWN today!! |
By LisaMay
•
Silent solitude’s
thoughts bubble to the surface
as I raise my glass.
•
Should I drink alone?
Perhaps I will never stop,
once I get started.
•
In this dilemma,
willpower is my new game.
I’m a good loser.
•
So I drain the bottle
and gobble the box of chocs.
Under strain, give in.
•
Yesterday is dead.
Restraint is for tomorrow.
I’ll live for today.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
We need our treats in times of stress. An evening glass of wine is therapeutic. Now that my wine rack is empty, I can't be bothered buying any more. The bottles are too heavy to lug back home up the hill on foot. Anyway, I spent the money on chocolate and FanStory postings. |
By LisaMay
•
I squeeze out the tube,
cleaning teeth before bed-time.
Must check my worm farm.
•
Such creeping creatures
will, indeed, inherit all.
We don’t deserve to.
•
Now we live in fear.
What on Earth has happened here?
The message seems clear.
•
We weren’t in control.
Our excess has made a mess:
puts us to the test.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
When I was cleaning my teeth, the white loop of toothpaste squeezing out of the tube reminded me of a worm (I squeezed too hard). In the King James Version of the Bible, Matthew 5:5 reads: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth." 'Puts us to the test' refers to the current stresses our everyday lives are subjected to, as well as referring to testing for Coronavirus infection. |
By LisaMay
•
Idling in neutral,
I cannot get into gear.
Speed Queen stops at home.
•
Here, spinning my wheels,
life’s highway is passing by.
I am stalled, can’t roam.
•
I watch ducks fly past.
Walking does not fit the bill;
I am going quackers.
•
I walk to the park,
to go somewhere, anywhere;
feeding hungry ducks.
•
This is food for thought:
when starved of travel myself,
I can fuel their flight.
•
Along thoughtful paths,
memory’s meanderings
take me far away.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
(Photo is LisaMay on her Yamaha XJR 1200. My other motorbike is a Kawasaki KLR 650.) I love driving and motorcycling; the pleasure of going somewhere, seeing new places. I enjoy revisiting favourite, familiar ones, but seeing the same things every day within walking distance of my home is emphasising how much I want to go somewhere else. Luckily, I have a good imagination, a good memory, and plenty of photographs of my previous travels with which to entertain myself - and I like being around ducks at the local park. Feeding the ducks is a metaphor for helping others when we are able to. (For instance, recently our Art Society was helped by a useful bequest from a deceased member's estate. Our galleries are closed due to the pandemic, with no income for our artists or the society. Our departed member wasn't going to be painting any more, but her generous gift kept her connected in helping the society.) How, personally, will we be able to support and help others in our new future, when so many will need assistance? |
By LisaMay
•
A feather floats down —
I know an angel is near,
healing Hell on Earth.
•
Birds flock on free wings.
Land-stranded, my thoughts soar, too,
in flights of fancy.
•
Lifted on updraft,
new perspectives are gained at
a healthy distance.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
An updraft is a current of warm rising air. In the context of this poem, I am using it as a metaphor for the possibility that once this pandemic is under control, we may become a healthier society, in all aspects, through gaining a new perspective by being bonded in the caring warmth of a shared experience, and seeing that a cooperative future is the way forward. (But then, I always was an idealist.) |
By LisaMay
•
Souls through death are freed
while more of us are captive —
Fate’s audience.
•
How to say goodbye?
I hold you near in my thoughts
as time scrolls through years.
•
So close, yet so far
I can’t cross the chasm of loss.
Lockdown has such cost.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Lately, so many lives have come to an end with no chance for goodbyes and loving commemoration. This is happening to so many people worldwide and I had a glimpse of it myself today. I live in New Zealand but have dear friends in Australia, just a hop across the Tasman Sea. With travel restrictions this might as well be a chasm. I was supposed to be in Australia in April, and today I received the sad news telling me my close friend's father died. Their family has been important to me for over 50 years. |
By LisaMay
•
We’ve now had practice
at filling up empty days
in unemployment.
•
“It’s only money”,
but having it is priceless.
Ask a poor person.
•
Minds full of worry,
hands in our empty pockets
as we come apart.
•
Will it soon make sense?
Hoping it will all work out
before we are spent.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
The financial cost is unimaginable. Globally, so many people are living with the prospect of poverty through unemployment; so many businesses are going to the wall or being 'mothballed' - waiting for better times. Monetary assistance will be necessary and so much government money is being spent to alleviate these effects. Inevitably, Capitalism and 'The Market' will need a re-think for the future. |
By LisaMay
•
The view is obscure.
Tomorrow the sun will shine
upon this rough path.
•
Defiant in fog,
we climb to the mountain top –
shout freedom’s bold song.
•
Standing on the brink,
staring at the rocks below,
we are all on edge.
•
Alive to my life,
ev’ry cell unlocked within,
my blood surges, strong.
•
Know that life is cheap –
value lies in the living.
Sing gratitude’s song.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
Hearing and reading about so many deaths is depressing, but my natural instinct for embracing life is beating strong. There are so many ways to celebrate and appreciate this gift of life. I am truly grateful. It's something of a catch-phrase to say: "We don't know how lucky we are", but living in New Zealand, I have always known it, for the country's freedom and safety, its fair-minded government, and for its wonderful natural beauty. Today, after 5 weeks of lockdown, the restrictions have been relaxed somewhat for the next 2 weeks, and we are allowed a little extra freedom. Some more businesses can re-open, and we can go further afield for our recreation, so I did the walking track up the mountain at the end of my neighbourhood valley. |
By LisaMay
•
I'll live and let live.
Because death is all around,
small mercies feel big.
•
Let the weed succeed.
Life is sprouting through the cracks.
I love its beauty.
•
Leave the stone unturned –
don’t rearrange for a change.
It is someone's home.
•
In the web of life,
ev'ry creature has its place.
That’s why flies have wings.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
I am not renowned for my gardening, finding beauty in weeds. Also, cobwebs adorn my house. I have a deep respect for ecosystems: the connections of nature. However, I hate flies. I wish they didn't have wings, then I could catch them more easily. They have wings so they can be everywhere, to annoy as many people as possible, but also to get away from spiders - although it's their wings that keep them trapped when they do get into the web. Maybe there's a message here, that our assets can also be our undoing. The more we've got, the more there is to lose. |
By LisaMay
Epilogue:
The following poem is my final contribution to this month-long undertaking for National Poetry Writing Month. I have posted a poem a day during April, each day giving a glimpse of my life here in southern New Zealand.
It coincided with a nation-wide Level 4 lockdown due to Covid-19, with just the past 3 days eased somewhat to Level 3, allowing more businesses to operate and a slight relaxation of personal liberty. Social distancing is still expected of us.
In global terms, New Zealand has handled the pandemic with a degree of success, no doubt aided by being a nation with a small population, governed by firm and fair leadership, having no land borders with other countries, and having cooperative residents. As of today, the death toll is 19 people lost and mourned.
New Zealand has a high dependence on income from tourism and hospitality, from foreign students in our education system, and from many other businesses now affected by international trade and travel. Our economy is wrecked for the foreseeable future, but Kiwis are resilient, resourcefully creative, and caring. In our Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s words, “We are a team of 5 million”. I think she makes a terrific team leader. I am proud to live in New Zealand.
Writing these poems during April has been an interesting exercise in self-reflection, observations, and insights. Thank you for reading my poems. I appreciate your feedback. I offer full respect to the other poets who committed to this challenge of a month of writing.
•
We’re in the same boat
as we navigate our lives.
Try to stay afloat.
•
We’ll plot a new course
as we bail our leaky boat,
lives changed forever.
•
Calm with good advice:
optimistic confidence
we’re not all at sea.
•
Now, anchors away,
we'll take our bold, new bearings
to steer through the storm.
•
| Author Notes |
Author's Note:
This pandemic will be affecting people in every country. We're all in it together on a global scale; let's hope cooperative solutions can be found for health, trade, business, employment, the environment, and 'people first' government. (Now that the infection numbers are down and we have a bit more freedom here, the really scary thing is that people will get trampled to death in the mad frenzy to get takeaways! Honestly, you'd think some people were going to die of starvation without an immediate fix of McDonalds or KFC.) |
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