The Saga continues… Pippa and Jess, cousins and best friends, are the main characters in this humorous immorality tale. In Chapter One they began reminiscing from the perspective of mature years, their friendship having been a close one of shared experiences. Back in younger days, Pippa and Jess are in love with their boyfriends, Basil and Adam, but both men have proven to be unfaithful. In this chapter it is revealed that Basil is a cheater and we learn the background to the end of Pippa’s relationship with him. The saga as it continues is a tale of sisterhood, tragedy and comedy, stalking and espionage, warped concepts of justice, dastardly deeds, vandalism, a possum, misuse of a corpse, allergies, athleticism, a close encounter with a train and a ghost, a baby in swaddling clothes, and more! Pippa and Jess are so energetic! I will try to arrive at some redemption and forgiveness by the end of this saga, some several chapters hence. Welcome aboard for Chapter Two of this crazy ride! 

Chapter Two: Evidence Is Acquired About Basil

So, for the past eighteen months The Age of Romance envelops both Pippa and Jess in a warm, fuzzy cloud of feeling special. But come The Age of Treason and it is a different story of boo hoo and heartbreak for both our heroines. 

Pippa’s boyfriend, Basil -- he of the green fingers and wandering willy -- is renowned for his organic gardening prowess. The vegetable garden and fruit trees at his Love Shack, some distance out of town, are his pride and joy. In their heady early months he sowed his seeds and trimmed Pippa’s bush there -- topiary being another of Basil’s skills. They had planted the boxwood bush on the front lawn together to celebrate the consummation of their love on her birthday.  

However, in the past few weeks he has ‘moved on’ and is now planting carrots and fondling someone else’s melons. Poor passed-up Pippa naturally has... well, the pip. And to think she used to be such a gentle, calmly-centred person. Now she’d like to artichoke him till his face turns aubergine. She feels like kicking his plums. Perhaps mash his kumara. She is sad that she will never be radished by him again. I could go on, but you get the picture – she’s pissed off enough to do something about it. Her lovely sunny lightness of being is now struggling with her dark side, the violent virago vixen within. Welcome to the yin yang of the world, Pippa.

How did this unfortunate turn of events come about? How did she learn of her boyfriend Basil’s infidelity?

It is a Wednesday night and they enjoy an early meal together at a Thai restaurant in town, before going on to separate meetings. Across the table from him, Pippa notes that the shirt Basil is wearing is the one she bought him recently. She thinks to herself how lucky she is to have such a considerate, good looking man all to herself. Basil is tall and slim, like Pippa, and although he is not conventionally handsome, the scar on his cheek, gained when he fell off the ladder while pruning his precious plum tree, adds to his appeal in Pippa’s adoring eyes. She thinks they look good together. The possibility that she has found her Mr Right is a happy thought.

Basil has asked three times where she is going tonight. Pippa thinks he is getting rather vague lately. It is Book Club night, a regular occurrence that the girls in the group take turn-about to host. Tonight it is to be held at Suzie’s house. Pippa will be meeting Jess there, along with their other book-loving friends Emma, Gabbie and Jocelyn.

Basil himself is going to a Soil Society meeting, so they walk out the door of the restaurant together and leave for their separate destinations. 

During the course of the Book Club get-together, studious Emma mentions something in passing to the others. “I’ve won a poetry contest on an international writer’s website,” she says, modestly. All of Emma’s relationships are on-line ones; she has never had a boyfriend, but has apparently developed some warm ‘virtual’ friendships. She insists the win is no big deal and responds to the chorus of congratulatory comments and questions with tranquility. 

“What did you write about, was it about me?” asks Gabbie. Jocelyn has another theory, “I bet you wrote about the joys of Spring and little bunnies and singing birds. Maybe a unicorn?” Jocelyn is closer to the mark. “Was it a sonnet about unrequited love and the universal desire for human connection?” Emma’s quiet answer surprises them all. “Actually, it was a freestyle rant about lust and fucking and betrayal and revengeful murder and maggots.” They all titter with delight, rolling about laughing at Emma’s unexpected humour, then there is an uneasy fidgety lull as it becomes apparent that she is not joking. “They must be very broadminded on that website,” offers Jess, to which Emma replies, “Of course they are, they’re Americans -- Land of the Free and all that.” This time everyone else knows she really is joking. 

Suzie, ever the enterprising hostess, steps into the breach. “Hey, let’s ditch this book review and go to that new Mirabelle Bar over in Tarawhiki Terrace. I’ve heard it’s got live music on Wednesday nights. Let’s celebrate!” There is a clamour of approval; they are relieved to have a distraction. And Jess is particularly pleased, because it means she will now be able to hear her boyfriend, Adam, who is the ‘live musician’ tonight at that club!  

So they all pile into Suzie’s big Volvo, with the bench seat at the front as well as the back (Suzie’s partner, Jim, is an automotive upholsterer), and drive off to the other side of town. Pippa is happy for Jess; she knows how much her friend loves Adam and how every opportunity to see him, even if it isn’t on a proper date, is a time of great pleasure for her.

It is crowded at the club, but the girls like the decor and atmosphere immediately. Both Pippa and Jess think it will be a terrific place to come on their double dates with Basil and Adam. Eventually the six girls find a table, rearrange some chairs, order some drinks, then settle in to listen to Adam.   

And there he is, crooning an endearing love song through his well-groomed beard, his warm voice smooth with honeyed sincerity, his elegant musician’s fingers tender on the guitar strings. Jess imagines those fingers in a more intimate situation and is pleased to see the friendship ring she gave him is describing silvery arcs in the spotlight as he strums the chords. The song’s lyrics bring a tear of happiness to her eye; she knows their love is the inspiration behind them.

She waves to Adam across the room and he misses a beat, to her mind looking not quite as pleased as she has imagined he would be -- was that a grin or a grimace? --  but she realises how difficult it must be to remember the words and play the guitar while also acknowledging his girlfriend’s presence. He recovers quickly, a true professional. Very smooth. There is a gaggle of gorgeous girls surrounding him, but that is to be expected. It is a popular new venue.

While this has been going on, Pippa has been off to the loo. When she returns, her friends have their heads together, agog with some intrigue. Before Pippa has had a chance to sit down, Gabbie, the gossip of the group, whispers, “Look! Look over there, Pipsy. In the corner. Is that your boyfriend, Bazz?” 

WHAAAT??? Gabbie’s tone makes Pippa go tense. What will she see when she looks? Summoning her courage, she turns slowly, rigid with apprehension, and takes in the scene that is presented. 

In the darkened corner, Basil is draped over an attractive girl, one hand placed nonchalantly on her upper thigh. The girl is snuggled against his brown-and-white checked shirt (yes, THAT shirt), nibbling his ear. Clearly, with such relaxed intimacy, they have been an item for a while.

Pippa’s eyes prickle with sudden tears as she calmly states, “No, that isn’t my boyfriend. Whatever gave you that idea? That man is not my boyfriend. Not any more!” Then she resumes her seat, with her back to Basil and his girl. Her heart is doing flip-flops and there is a lump the size of Africa blocking her throat. She is rocked to her core, peeled and cut with pique. The apple of her eye is now a worm-ridden rotten discard. She is be-cider self with indignation. You can de-juice what may happen next. I could go on, but you get the picture -- she’s pissed off enough to do something about it. 

“So that’s why he kept asking me where I would be tonight,” she eventually shares with the group, through gritted teeth. “He told me he was going to a Soil Society meeting. Maybe that’s why she’s licking his ear… testing the quality of dirt!”

Pippa’s friends chuckle supportively, but they can feel her pain behind the humour. With nothing more to be said, and an air of despondency having descended on the previously merry group, they get up to leave. Basil catches sight of them as they stride past, her friends fussing and clucking around Pippa like mother hens. He has been caught out, but he glares at her as she walks by him. Yes, he has the gall to glare at HER, as if it is Pippa herself who is in the wrong. Yes, indeed she is in the wrong… wrong place, wrong time, wrong boyfriend.

*  *  *

Author Notes

A kumara is also known in New Zealand as a sweet potato.