By kiwisteveh
Russians, Russians everywhere,
In his bed, in his chair.
Russians smiling in Helsinki,
Russian call-girls acting kinky.
Shaking hands with creepy Putin;
Poor Ukraine, he put the boot in.
Manafort is selling data;
treason has so many strata.
Russians, Russians everywhere.
Over here, over there.
In the tower Donny's meeting
with some Russians; who'll be treating?
Russians, Russians, there and here,
Anatoly, Vladmir;
Oily Russian oligarchs
simply whistle, DJ barks.
By kiwisteveh
| Author Notes |
This is from four years ago... changed a couple of names and it is even more topical today!
Paul - Paul Manafort, Trump's campaign manager during 2016 election Mike - Michael Flynn - National Security Advisor for all of 23 days Steve - Steve Bannon - Devious political strategist, charged with fraud at both federal and state levels. pardoned by Trump. Currently out on bail awaiting trial for contempt of Congress George - George Papadopoulos - foreign policy adviser to Trump Mike could also refer to Michael Cohen, Trump's former lawyer and fixer. |
By kiwisteveh
MAGA! MAGA! Build the wall!
Make it concrete, make it tall.
"We don't want you!" Hear us shout,
Keep those filthy rapists out!
MAGA! MAGA! Take their kids;
Turn down their asylum bids.
Build the wall and make it strong.
Send them back where they belong.
MAGA! MAGA! Build it high.
They can't have our slice of pie.
Fleeing for their lives they say.
Send them back home anyway.
MAGA! MAGA! Close the border.
Let's get us some law and order.
Criminals in nasty mobs,
come to steal our homes and jobs.
MAGA! MAGA! We don't need
immigrants, the way they breed.
They don't even look like us.
Throw 'em on the homeward bus.
MAGA! MAGA! Democrats
want to fill our home with rats.
'Huddled masses,' LOL
Send them all to bloody Hell.
| Author Notes | The third in my series of satirical pieces. The other two are "Russians, Russians Everywhere" and "Orange Jumpsuit, Yellow Hair." |
By kiwisteveh
I do not like thee, Doctor Swump,
I do not like the way you jump.
Your hair is fake, your body plump -
I do not like thee, Doctor Swump.
You said you'd make me well again.
Instead I dwell in constant pain.
I do not like your love of guns
That kill my daughters, kill my sons.
I do not like thee, Doctor Swump;
You said you'd cure this swollen lump.
Instead you've left me with a hump -
I do not like thee Doctor Swump.
You do not like opposing views;
I do not like the friends you choose.
You tell MY friends that they are shit -
I do not like that, not one bit.
I do not like thee, Doctor Swump;
Your office you have made a dump.
It makes me feel an awful grump -
I do not like thee Doctor Swump.
Your ego's YHOOGE, your knowledge slight;
You sit and tweet all through the night.
Your staff have gone, I know not where;
Tomorrow can you join them there?
I do not like thee, Doctor Swump;
You are a pain right in my rump.
I think I need a stomach pump - -
I do not like thee Doctor Swump.
| Author Notes |
This is the fourth in my series of short satirical poems on the current state of politics in the USA. I have gathered the poems together in a 'book' for convenience so you can easily check out the full set. The book is called "Drain the Swump"
I know, I know, as a Kiwi I have no business poking my nose into American politics, but it is surprising how much can be seen from a distance. Enjoy - you might as well get a laugh out of the disaster that is Doctor Swump! |
By kiwisteveh
Marionnette, oh, marionnette,
your strings are in a tangle.
Your puppeteers are quarreling
over who they want to strangle.
Coulter's feeling vicious
and she gives those cords a jerk.
Putin, Queen of Russia,
wears his special little smirk.
The Saudi cash is oily,
Kim Jung Un is hard to read;
the NRA and skinheads
have their little Fascist needs.
You'd thrive on punching Judy
(or Nancy, as she's known);
the tough old bird is fighting back.
Watch out, she'll pinch your throne.
Pinnocchio, Pinnochio,
if it were only those!
But now you're tripping over
your beanstalk ten-foot nose.
Marionnette, oh marionnette,
you clumsy, comic fool,
to be a puppet like a muppet
truly isn't cool.
By kiwisteveh
Oh, Allen's gone, he's disappeared.
It's as I thought, it's as I feared.
He's gone away, we don't know where;
who bought the ticket, paid the fare?
We don't know where, we don't know why.
Perhaps it was the FBI
who have him in a secret cell
until his secrets he may tell.
It could be that a Yeti came;
from mountain tops he heard the name
and paid a visit, dropping in
on Weisselberg, his next of kin.
Or was it Nessie, all the way
from Scotland, who just came to say,
"Oh, Allen, you're in such a mess!
Come live with me in cold Loch ness."
Conspiracies take darker turns -
the grassy knoll, the tower burns.
In concrete boots, he's in the deeps,
or possibly with Hoffa sleeps.
When Mob accountants skip their bail
they let the Ozarks hide their trail.
Perhaps you may find Allen there
with skunk and bat and wolf and bear.
Or on some island far away,
where dusky maids and palm trees sway.
Are you chipped up, just like in Fargo?
Or cushioned down at Mar-a-Lago?
Alas, alas, poor Weisselberg,
are you another Heisenberg?
Like others who have served the Trump,
now were you pushed, or did you jump?
| Author Notes |
Despite the apparently humorous poem, the tile question is deadly serious? I am not a great believer in conspiracy theories, but read the background and then think about it. Any comments and/or info you can give me would be sincerely appreciated.
Background. Allen Weisselberg was (is?) the CFO ot the Trump Organisation. Usually a retiring figure, shy of publicity, he came to prominence during the testimony of former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen in late February. Amongst other things, Cohen alleged Weisselberg was a key figure in the hush money payments to Stormy Daniels and illegally inflated Trump's financial worth to obtain high value loans. In the wake of that testimony, several Democrats, including AOC (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) appeared very keen to call Weisselberg to testify as a potential witness into their investigations into Trump's financial affairs. Google Weisselberg's name today and you will find absolutely no reference to him in any news since March. Nothing, nada, zilch! Yesterday the House Judiciary Committee issued subpoenas for twelve people, including Jared Kushner. Was Weisselberg's name on the list? No! It could be that Weisselberg is just lying low, but that doesn't explain why he is not being pursued by news organisations or by those who are desperately seeking anything with which they may cudgel Trump. This is what has piqued my curiosity and inspired the little ditty above. PS I am aware that Weisselberg was granted some limited immunity (whatever that means) back in 2018 for his evidence in the Cohen investigation. One report says he actually didn't really cooperate. Could he still be assisting the Feds? Other notes. The grassy knoll - refers to one of the many conspiracy theories about the assassination of JFK The tower burns - ditto for 9/11 Hoffa - Jimmy Hoffa was a labor union leader who became involved with organised crime. He vanished in 1975 and his body has never been found. One of the more bizarre claims is that he was buried under Giants Stadium. Ozarks - 'Ozark' is a rather dark TV series starring Jason Bateman as an accountant on the run from both his Mob bosses and law enforcement. He hides out with his family in the Ozarks (a remote region in Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kansas). Worth watching for the clever opening credits of each episode alone! Heisenberg - a name adopted by Walter White, the protagonist in 'Breaking Bad', my nomination for best TV drama of all time. White/Heisenberg also ended up on the run from both bad guys and the law. Fargo/chipper - refers to a shut-your-eyes scene from the Coen Brothers movie 'Fargo' where the detective played by Frances McDormand comes across one bad guy stuffing the chopped up parts of another bad guy into a wood chipper. Now surround that with snow and let the scene play in your mind for a while! If you don't get the references to Yeti, Nessie or Mar-a-Lago, you don't get out enough! |
By kiwisteveh
What folly blinds you?
The Emperor has no clothes!
Why do you not see?
By kiwisteveh
Don't be a tough guy,
Don't be a fool!
Don't bomb a hospital.
Don't bomb a school!
Unless you really want to;
I really couldn't care,
But please, oh pretty please, don't bomb
Those two Trump Towers there.
I know that you're a strongman,
I want to be like you,
If only I could fit these
Bone-spurs into my shoe.
Call ya later, baby!
| Author Notes |
Last week I posted a poem critical of President Trump and I was told in no uncertain terms by one reviewer to butt out, that I didn't know what I was talking about because I live on the other side of the world. That reviewer should have known better than to tell a Kiwi what to do. We may be small and furry and flightless, but we're stubborn as Hell!
To be clear, I have the greatest respect for America, for her achievements and her many great leaders of the past. However, Trump is a disgrace, as he has proven again this week. The first two lines of my poem are taken directly from his letter to President Erdogan of Turkey. Immediately following those tough guy statements, Trump added, "I'll call you later." Make of that what you will, but it's pretty darn clear who the fool is in this situation. Trump with his ill-conceived decision to remove US troops from Northern Syria has created chaos. He has described it as "strategic brilliance," although his Generals, his top advisers, and even his Republican congressmen and women strongly disagree. In one stroke, announced in his usual way by tweet, he has abandoned America's Kurdish allies to slaughter, invited hostile forces such as Russia, Iran and the Syrian regime into the disputed territory and given a gigantic boost to ISIS, undoing years of struggle to defeat them. The ramifications of this impulsive decision have already caused turmoil in the region. Iraq, Saudi Arabia and Israel will be dismayed by the uncertainty and conflict on their respective doorsteps. Below is the text of his letter to Erdogan. It is reported today that Erdogan threw it straight in the bin. His Excellency Recep Tayyip Erdogan President of the Republic of Turkey Ankara Dear Mr. President: Let's work out a good deal! You don't want to be responsible for slaughtering thousands of people, and I don't want to be responsible for destroying the Turkish economy â?? and I will. I've already given you a little sample with respect to Pastor Brunson. I have worked hard to solve some of your problems. Don't let the world down. You can make a great deal. General Mazloum is willing to negotiate with you, and he is willing to make concessions that they would never have made in the past. I am confidentially enclosing a copy of his letter to me, just received. History will look upon you favorably if you get this done the right and humane way. It will look upon you forever as the devil if good things don't happen. Don't be a tough guy. Don't be a fool! I will call you later. Sincerely, (Signed) Donald Trump ********************* Sorry if I've offended anybody, but you need to rid yourselves of this maniac before it's too late. He is a danger to the whole world. |
By kiwisteveh
So, Twit I am, I spot a foolish tweet,
Caress it with my eyeballs, think it's neat.
Unbidden, thumbs start twitching for the keys;
Moronavirus minions flock like fleas.
Oh, can I be a Nero, fiddling free?
Rome in flames? It's USA for me.
Despite advice from Fauci and from Birx,
Unchecked, my words can contradict their works.
Masks and social distancing? That's their rules.
But you, my loyal Twitters? Act like fools!
By kiwisteveh
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