"Candied-Flossed Pain"
Written on January 8th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Note: The loss of a child; no matter how old; male or female; is a parent's Worst Nightmare"
...
Reflections long pass to the time period of March 31st, 2003.
I sit at a computer desk; just home and relaxing from my job.
(a grocery manager of a major New Jersey supermarket chain)
...
Very private moment.
Yes, to go back and reflect?
Yes, on this very private moment?
You would think would be extremely painful?
"Things That Go Bump in the Night"
...
The first noise that I heard while playing chess on a site called Chessnet.com
Was the beginning of the Nightmare!
I wouldn't learn till later that the car was originally raced at Atco Raceway. Atco, New Jersey professionally.
But now?
Yes, a Seventeen 17-year-old and mentally ill child was in control named Brian Cole.
Yes, and as he hit the curb at an estimated 100 mph.
It was gotten back to my wife.
Yes, that a paramedic on the scene or a fire man.
Had noticed the car had been locked in third gear.
...
Note: A Ford representative who I talk to about this, stated that since it had and was a racing car.
Most likely it was maxed out at 100 miles per hour at least.
The car then would "Bunny Hop"
Yes, up the telephone pole.
After retaining of height of about 7 or 8 feet.
Then the Second noise was it plummeting to the Road below.
"Nightmares Come in Many Mysterious Ways?"
...
After a quick phone call from my stepdaughter Kyle.
(who was coming back from her sister's birthday party)
Kyle, her fiance Fred Drum, and my granddaughter Sasha.
Noticed the remnants of the accident and the car's rear bumper in the middle of the road.
Then my wife Carolyn was awaken.
...
Note: Being that it was on Nautilus Avenue.
Yes, and virtually only two blocks away. I was there immediately.
Kyle would not leave her vehicle.
She was too scared.
Yes, but previously, she had stated...
'Jason was in a horrible accident!'
'Please get over here immediately!'
"Up, Up, and Away to Infinity and the Death of Me!"
...
It's funny how when things are happening you seem to not be?
The next half hour was like slow motion I was going through the moves but I didn't know?
Brian was conscious at the scene but had lied on the police report.
Yes, that he had passed out a mile and a half away.
Note: There had been over a dozen lies on that report.
When I arrived at the scene.
Yes, he yelled at me and told me to get him out of the car.
Then, he asked me to call his mother.
And, then he gave me her cell phone number.
(which I did)
(Kim Cole)
There had been a woman, though at the scene?
And, it happened to be a SOCH (Southern Ocean County Hospital)
Judy Kish saw us pull up she was attending to Jason and then went in her house.
And yes for some strange reason it happened on her front loan property?
...
And, there already had been an Ocean County violent crime scenes officer at the scene.
And, he was measuring the markings from the car's tires along the curbing of the road.
...
When I surveyed the situation.
Yes, I thought my son was just unconscious?
After all he's a big boy.
Eighteen year old 250 pounder.
But of course he was not okay.
I didn't realize this until they covered him.
Yes, and another fireman smashed the window.
So they could pull him out of the wreck.
This is when I screamed out my son's name.
8:30 March 31st, 2003.
And, that was when I died.
...
They used, "The Jaws of Life"
Yes, to extract the driver who was trapped the lying prone position with the steering wheel firmly against his chest.
Later on, I would learn that Brian would go home the next day.
Because the only injury was a little blood in his urine.
...
So they had decided to airlift both children.
So, both children were loaded into the waiting helicopter.
Note: The scene of the accident was only about a quarter mile away.
...
Meanwhile, my wife and I.
Yes, and also Jason's girlfriend Angel.
Drove down the Garden State Parkway
to the trauma Hospital in Atlantic City New Jersey.
Jason would have a heart attack on the way but they would bring him back thank God!
"Mellow Moments of photography"
...
Upon arriving at the hospital of course we were asked for insurance in my employer had taken my family coverage away leaving me with single coverage which I denied.
This would be one of the very first beginning nightmares to come.
...
The next thing would be an X-ray technician and nurse taking us into a room.
She had scanned my son's brain and was taking many pictures.
The pictures were on three of the walls.
I couldn't believe it at that point.
Yes, and I was just wondered how much worse is this going to get?
The Nurse stated that it was the worst brain injury photography she had seen in her career.
And, she had been there for the past ten years.
"Follow the Bouncing Ball!"
...
The next Seventeen hours.
(Going into April 1st)
Would be watching a monitor which would measure the Blood-Oxygen and pressure levels in Jason's brain.
It would slowly be going backwards.
...
I must have left that room a dozen times and in tears.
The head Emergency room nurse was wiping the umbilical fluid from Jason's ears.
She couldn't do it any longer.
So, my 27-year-old birthday girl Nikki took over.
...
And yes, he was raccooned.
(Which is similar to the results from somebody being severely beaten in a prize fight)
His eyes were black and blue and swollen his head was also.
I would later determine that, that had happened.
Yes, when the car had hit the pole.
And, my son Jason's head had hit the Ford Mustang's convertible roof.
Thus, dislodging it of course.
...
Note: That was the only apparent visual injury.
And, there was nothing else visual at that time period, except the beginning trickling of the fluid from his ears.
"Que Sera, Sera, what will be will be?"
...
About Ten hours into the procedure?
Yes, of trying desperately.
To reduce the brain swelling with thousands of dollars of medication.
We were then asked to leave the room.
As, they had decided that a surgeon was needed.
Whom was going to perform a procedure.
Yes.
To relieve the pressure.
But even tapping Jason skull would not help.
"The Gift of Life!"
...
In these extreme and rare situations. Yes, they will call a representative from the Gift of Life.
And, in our area at the time?
Yes, it was Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
...
To learn more about, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?'
Simply contact my dearest friend.
Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W.
"The Gift of Life!"
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1.
"Eighteen Years of Life!"
...
The next Eighteen years would be spent learning more about the people my son Jason had saved.
The Many, Many, letters of appreciation.
Yes, and the Many, Many, events that they were able to witness themselves and their families.
"In Conclusion"
...
Sometimes, I wonder about this entire experience.
And, how it's affected first me.
My children and eventually my wife Carolyn.
Note: Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky would commit suicide only Eight months later.
Yes as of this past March 23rd, 2021.
I've been a widower Eighteen years.
18 years without my 18 year old son 18 years without my wife and 18 years realizing that everything was absolutely necessary and deemed so by God above.
And I say these words in the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen.
...
Jason Richard Smrkovsky
November 5th, 1984~
March 31st, 2003.
Organs Graciously donated on
April 1st, 2003.
(April Fool's Day)
Approximate Word Count: 1366.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'supergold' And, their Incredible Picture Entitled, "a child paradise"

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Your Daily Verse'
Written on January 11th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace.
Psalms 29.1
...
The Somalia Civil War (Dagaalkii Sokeeye ee Soomaaliya)

"The Horn of Africa War of Terror!"
There has been a new government formed in 2012 with the fall of the Supreme Revolutionary Council.

2009 to present (Al-Qaeda)
"Casualties and losses"
Casualties
300,000 (SFG)-500,000 (AFP)
Displaced
1.1 million
...
In 1990 to 1992 customary law temporarily collapsed due to the fighting.
Somalia became a failed State even with relief from (UNOSOM)
It's been up and down in 2000 and 2004.
With the Transitional National Government (TNG) and the Transitional Federal Government (TFG).
...
The problem is the country of Somalia is So, So, Very, Very, Poor.
There is very little help for education.
There's tremendous difficulty accessing education, employment, and healthcare.
Insecurity is pervasive.
Politics in Mogadishu holds little promise for Hope.
Source of conflicts stem also from competition for resources and/or power.
...
The Colonial Legacy, and Repression by the current military regime.
Politicized clan identity, availability of weapons, and the ever presence of large numbers of unemployed youth are considered as contributing factors.

'Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on Earth as it is in Heaven.'
'Give us give us this day our
"Daily Bread"
'And, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver Us from Evil.'
Amen.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer'cleo85' And, Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Love is like a River"

Chapter 64
Broken Hearts That Collapse?(A)

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Broken Hearts That Collapse?"(A)
Written on January 11th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

She was the one for me.
She was the one that was meant to be.
Be as it should, and should as it be.
Time would pass and a meeting with chance.
A blind date.
Just pick her up at 8:00.
...
It was October 1982.
And, it was six months since my first nervous breakdown.
Thank God I was pretty much recovered.
I had recently gone back to work.
But I had three weeks vacation that had to be used before the year was over?
...
When I went to the party in Harvey Cedars, NJ.
(On Long Beach Island)
Yes, there were to be two women and each of course, had multiple children.
(All young)
My date?
Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach had a little girl named Nikki and a little girl named Kyle.
The woman who owned the house and where the party would be in
Harvey Cedar's name was Sharon Klein.
Sharon had six children.
...
I found out later that Sharon's husband John Klein, who was a Philadelphia fireman, had had a nervous breakdown.
And, he was currently in the mental hospital.
Later, I would find out that Carolyn's husband was a heroin addict.
(Among other things)
And both men had known each other and were friends.
If this is looking like a soap opera you got it exactly right!
...
The choice became clear to choose the woman with the less children of course.
Yes even though she was the lesser when it came to looks but that wasn't important.
What's important was I was coming off a horrible breakup and also a nervous breakdown.
Yes, and I was extremely lonely.
Yes, and extremely ready for a woman.
End of Part Number One.

****

"Broken Hearts That Collapsed?"(B)
Written on January 12th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Can a broken heart that has collapsed me mended?
Especially for the next 20 years?
When it's pretended?
...
And, that night was remarkable!
Time I was born and that was when I started to Realize?
Realize yes that this woman has children and that means there's a man somewheres?
...
So, I decided it was time.
Yes, to use my three week vacation.
Yes, to visit my mother in Port Orange.
Yes, and take these two little girls to Disney World!
...
The plan was to use my 1982 practically brand new Chevrolet Citation.
Note: This would be my first of several trips to the Disney complex.
...
So, while in Florence, South Carolina.
We would stay at the South of the Border.
And then the next day?
Finished the remaining hours of the 21-hour drive.
...
After introducing Carolyn to my youngest brother Christopher and my mother Florence it was off to La Quinta Hotel in Orlando.
Back then they were doing a buy one night get two nights free!
So technically I had our four days covered at Disney!
And since I had a 3 week vacation I would take the kids back two more times!
...
After coming home.
Two weeks had passed.
Yes, and Carolyn realized she was pregnant.
She was not very happy.
Soon, my very first child would be born on July 14th, 1983.
...
And, When Hell Boils Over!"
(There will be an eruption!)
...
Michael Harbach (AKA) "Archie"
Was about ten years older than Carolyn.
And, also two heads taller.
At 6'7 yes he was quite tall but also quite addicted to alcohol, pills, and heroin!
...
After getting to know Carolyn better and the children.
I soon realized she was hiding out from him.
Yes, and that he has a violent history.
But what I didn't realize was how abused Carolyn was as a child by her very own mother Mildred!
Yes that would come later.
But as for now?
...
He's at the bottom of the stairs to the apartment in Surf City, New Jersey!
And, obviously alcoholtized!
And yes!
He was itching for a fight!
...
'I'm going to come up there first and kill him!'
'And, then beat you up like I used to!'
He bragged.
...
At 28 years old; I was built like a brick shithouse.
Yes, a less than 200 lbs.
After all.
I've been unloading various tractor trailers since I was only fifteen.
Working for my employer and
Foodtown Supermarkets.
So, I responded.
...
'If you're capable of bringing your 6'7 lean and lanky ass up the stairs?'
'I'll pick you up, crack your back, and throw you into the dunes with the rats that are waiting!'
...
In the meantime, my future wife?
Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky?
Yes, was on the phone in touch with the Surf City Police department.
The sergeant came and knew Archie's history.
So, he told him just to go home and sleep it off!
Which I could not believe!
Yes, since there was death threats and other various problems.
But that unfortunately was the world today.
End of Part Number Two.
To be continued with and Entitled,
"Happy birthday Corinne Alexis Smrkovsky!"
Approximate Word Count:880.
Approximate and Estimated total word count: 3,000.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Sea Jay 1' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Til Death, Do Art"

Chapter 65
My Bleeding and Bloodied Heart

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"My Bleeding and Bloodied Heart"
Written on January 17th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

My Bleeding and Bloodied Heart.
Broken and Torn apart?
Dear Lord God Above?
What happened to all my Love?
...
My Bleeding and Bloodied Broken Heart.
Time has given me a chance to be Free?
But what's happening deep inside of me?
Dear Lord God Above?
What happened to all my Love?
...
Dear Lord God Above?
Can you not have the Heart?
Yes, and do Your job?
Mold and Repair?
Do you still care?
Yes, what's in front of you There?
...
My Bleeding and Bloodied....
Yes, and so Broken this Heart.
I now give to You.
Yes, so you can do Your part?
Take it?
Mold it?
Shape it?
Yes, but don't worry when it comes to break it?
This Bloodied *Heart.
Approximate Word Count: 149.

Author Notes

*Heart: noun /heart/ 1) Central core of the human body used to pump blood. "Jason donated his heart" ... Note: On March 31st, 2003. My only 18-year-old son Jason. Yes, and Unfortunately, was involved, as a passenger. In a horrible car accident. Brain dead and in a deep coma; we decided to donate him and his body organs. ... To learn more about, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1 ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'avmurry' And, her Incredible Picture Entitled, "Confusion of a Bleeding Heart"

Chapter 66
It Takes An Ocean

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"It Takes An Ocean"
Written on February 3rd, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

To Have and to Hold...
As the waters flow.
Time gives us choices.
No sense dealing with the voices.
...
To Have and to Hold...
As the Moon above glows.
Can no longer listen?
Everybody seems to know.
...
To Have and to Hold...
As the Sun warms my Soul.
Feelings that never forget.
Life Hath taken such a Toll.
...
To have and to not?
Sometimes we Love.
And, that's all we got?
Then we are given.
Just One-Last-Shot.
Because it takes an Ocean.
And, this Broken Heart.
To Have and to Hold.
Til Death Do Us *Part.

Author Notes

*Part:noun /part/ 1. a piece or segment of something such as an object, activity, or period of time which combined with other pieces makes up the whole. "divide the circle into three equal parts" 2. Some but not all of something. "the painting only tells part of the story" ... Note: Only Eight months after the death of our son Jason. On November 23rd, 2003. As a result of her denying her necessary medications. My wife Carolyn is almost 20 years. Decided to leave me. Note: And, if you know somebody contemplating Suicide. Then please call 9-11. Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky December 6th, 1952~ November 23rd, 2003. Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'MoonWillow' And, her Incredible Picture Entitled, "Land & Sea. - Unity"

Chapter 67
Over the Mountains

By Ricky1024

"Over the Mountains"
Written on February 16th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Over the Mountains and across the Seas.
I know in my Heart.
That there's a Lonely girl who waits for me.
...
With hair of Grains of Sugared Sands.
Eyes so very Blue.
She tries to Understand?
Her lips still try to erase her past demands.
And, her past Fears.
Yes, as she prays for that day.
...
When she knows that I am near.
But her Broken Heart sheds but a single beat?
But still her Hopes and Dreams clasp to the Stars.
Oh, Lonely Girl?
Where Are You *Are?

Author Notes

*Are: verb /ar er/ 1: second person singular present and first, second, third, person plural present of "be" *Are: noun /er ar/ 1: a unit of area equal to 100 square meters. -see Metric System Table ... Note: this is dedicated to all the widows and all the widowers who have lost their spouses way too soon. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Rachel L' And, Rachel's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Lonely Girl"

Chapter 68
Broken Heart Ache

By Ricky1024

"Broken Heart Ache"
Written on March 6th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Broken but beating
Movement discreeting
Valued thoughts abound
Lost and never to be found
...
Broken but still beating
Silent moments ever fleeting
Pictures past arranged still in a flask
Time progressed and all seems as best
...
Broken now FOR-E-VER crying
Tried my best but knowing whying
Still life, No life, Lost life, His life God
Darkened Clouds, Lullabies Gather to
Not much more left now for me as you
...
"Broken Heart Ache"
Remember and never Forsake
Gather now with all your means
Fallow fields cry out in my *Dreams...

Author Notes

*Dreams: noun, often attributive /drems/ 1:a series of thoughts, images, or emotions, occuring during sleep //had a dream about climbing a mountain -compare: REM, SLEEP 2: an experience of waking Life having the characteristics of a dream such as a: a visionary see (Visionary entry one sense 2a) Creation of the imagination: DAYDREAM //the dreams of her youth b: a state of mind marked by abstraction or relief from reality: REVERIE //walking around in a dream c: an object seen in a dream like state: VISION //a man that was her dream come true ... Note: Normally in a dream like State we are completely semi-conscious. And as we are in that semi-conscious state of being everything seems as if reality, all wishing and all seeming. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' And, her Incredible Picture Entitled, "

Chapter 69
Within All of My Broken Heart

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Within All of My Broken Heart"
Written on April 12th, 2003
(Re-Write)
By Jason Richard Smrkovsky
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

'And, within all of my Broken Heart.'
'I must now depart.'
'I must now end this day...
'Yes, and I'm on my way.'
...
'Sometimes Life can be?'
'More or less Merry Melodies.'
'But other times?'
'It can all unwind and be so, so, very, cruel.''
'Cruel indeed.'
...
'Unfortunately, it can make melt your Heart and make it bleed.'
'It can grasp deep inside.'
'Yes, with Endless and Painfull Sufferings?'
'Sufferings indeed.'
...
'Just when you might think that your Life is going right?'
'Darkened Clouds will gather in the night!'
'They will block any recent Sunshine above and cancel your date with Unending Love.'
...
'As I now must depart.'
'I write these words...
'Yes, with all of my Broken and soon to be Donated *Heart.'

Approximate Word Count: 157.

Author Notes

*Heart: noun /hahrt/ 1: A Hollow pump-like Human Organ specifically created to be utilized, as a pump. Compose mainly of rhythmically contractile smooth muscle. As blood, to allow the fluid to pass through the vascular system. "Jason's Heart was very strong!" ... Note: On March 31st, 2003. (Unfortunately for me and my family) My only son Jason was involved in a car accident. And as a result? Seventeen hours later he was diagnosed as brain dead. On March 31st 2003. (Now, fortunately for me and my family) We were able to donate Jason's major organs to save four lives. And, as of April Fool's Day 2022? It will be nineteen years that, (Three out of Four) Human beings walk this planet. Yes, with my son Jason's Heart, lungs, and kidneys. ... To learn more about, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. .... Jason Richard Smrkovsky November 5th, 1984~ March 31st, 2003. Organ's Graciously donated on April 1st 2003 (April Fool's Day) "And, the Beat Goes On" ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Through The Eyes Of Love"

Chapter 70
Within the Willows of My Mind

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Within the Willows of My Mind"
Written on March 10th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky and 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Narrow, lance-shaped leaves and dense catkins, bearing small flowers, now gather at my feet.
Pliable twigs from long lost branches.
Dancing, cluster around cylinders armed with spiked castings.
Now prick and tease.
No more shall I believe!
...
No more shall I wander through the thistles of past regrets.
No more shall I wander through the piercing thorns of memories well worn.
No more shall I as I cast off dense catkins and bear the burdens of endless pains
...
Now I shall dance through,
"The Garden of Eden!"
I shall taste the sweet wines from "The Fountain of Divinity!"
Yes, for I now shall dine and feast at "The Great Table of *God!"

Author Notes

*God: noun /gad, also God/ 1 GOD: the supreme and ultimate deity: such as A: the Being of perfect in power wisdom and goodness who is worshipped (as in Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism) as Creator and ruler of the universe //Throughout the patristic and medieval periods, Christian theologians taught that God created the universe. ...James Schafer //The Supreme Being or God the personal form of the ultimate Reality is conceived by Hindus as having various aspects. ...Sunita Pant Bansal b :Christian science incorporable Divine principle ruling over all as Eternal Spirit: infinite mind. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, as well as, Amazing Writer, 'cleo85' And, Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Southern Lights" ... Note: As I watched this movie entitled, "Jason and Argonauts" back in 1963. The Greek mythical hero named Jason was my son's name to be! In the movie because of a murderer, Jason is forced to search for 'The Golden Fleece!" Which today would be considered, "The Gift of Life!" And, little did I know many years after watching that movie. And, after my son died in a car accident as a result of his injuries. Yes, that my Jason was the "Golden Fleece!" And, the Gift of Life! ... To learn more about, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1.

Chapter 71
Within the Shallow Breath

By Ricky1024

"Within the Shallow Breath"
(Of my Heart's beat)
Written on March 17th, 2022
By Jason Richard Smrkovsky
Copyright ©Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

'As I write these words to you.'
'I shall give you another point of view.'
'From a place now far, far, above.'
'Yes, I am no longer there but in Body and Soul?'
'Yes I have shared!'
...
'My name is no longer important you can just call me Jay.'
'You may wonder why and how I can write these words today?'
'Let's just say I'm still loved from above!'
Below!'
'Silly goose can't you yet know?'
...
'Well the first thing you need to understand?'
'Over Eighteen years ago as a Young Man.'
'I had the usual teenage dreams.'
'Graduate high school go to college.'
(if you know what I mean?)
...
'But see reviewer of me?'
'You need to realize that not always do things work out the right way?'
'And, not always will the Sun shine.'
'Nor the Moon glow.'
'These are the things we need to know.'
...
'Where I am at now?'
'Yes, it is very peaceful and it would be 12:25 a.m. below.'
'The date is not necessary you need to know.'
'What you need to know and the reason why?'
'I write these words and I'll make you cry.'
'Because I died.'
'And yes, Many, Many, Years ago.'
'But not completely you see?'
'Just read my Dad's Editor's Notes about me?'
Jay.

Author Notes

Note: March 31st 2003. My only son Jason was unfortunately in an accident. And, due to the severe circumstances. He became Brain-Dead, almost immediately. ... When you're thrown into a situation like this. You need to make one of two decisions. Number One: You can allow your child to linger in that state of non-being. Yes, in a deep coma and brain dead for possibly a dozen Years. Number Two: You can share! ... To learn more about, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with, "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. ... Jason Richard Smrkovsky November 5th, 1984~ March 31st, 2003. Organ's graciously offered and donated on April 1st, 2003. (April Fool's Day) ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'Doctor Writer 1024' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Splish, Splash!" (I'm Taking a bath!)

Chapter 72
Cross X My Heart (A)

By Ricky1024

"Cross X My Heart" (A)
Written on December 23rd, 2022
By Jason Richard and Richard Edward
Smrkovsky
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Cross my Heart and hope you don't Cry?
And, don't you worry when I Die.
For it's God's way and God knows.
What more can I say?
...
Take My heart.
Yes, it's necessary on this day.
But please God remove it carefully.
Stitch and unstitch.
Sink it deep.
Yes, deep indeed.
And, into another's breast.
...
Then God, do your very best.
Turn on the switch.
Yes, I now must insist.
And, carefully.
No deposit then there will be no return.
Around and around and around again.
Thanks God looks like I got a brand new friend!
Amen.

****
"Cross X My Heart" (B)
Written on December 23rd, 2022
By Jason Richard and Richard Edward
Smrkovsky

Cross X My Heart and Hope to Die.
God wipe now all those tears from their eyes.
For this is no big surprise.
God wants it to Be.
...
To Be or Not to Be.
Ashes to Ashes.
Dust to Dust.
Now this is not the end you see?
Yes, not the end of me!
...
For my purpose indeed?
Yes to give life for those...
To succeed!
To succeed with New Life.
Succeed with a second chance!
Succeed yes indeed!
But why?
Well because that's the way God wants this to be!

Author Notes

Note: To learn more about this Amazing process of'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend. Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800- DONORS-1. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Annalinda' Anna's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Mult-color Comfort"

Chapter 73
Meaning

By Ricky1024

"Meaning"
Written on December 28th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Motion restricted
Orb twirling in reflections of Non Reality
Control out of miffed
Accidentally Kiss
Pure Bliss
...
Candy cane lips
Sugar so very, very, sweet
As Moons glow penetrates all that we know
...
The Sea of Tranquility
Waves lapping beach sand Shells penetrate darkness Angels Kiss God.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as e, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist 'avmurry' Her Incredible Picture Entitled, "Narcissus"

Chapter 74
How She Makes Me

By Ricky1024

"How She Makes Me"
Written on February 13th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

God, how she makes me cry when I look ever deeper inside.
It seems to always be.
Be deep inside and trapped and in she.
Yes, the pains immense and there's no forgiving.
Seems as if I'm existing in
"The Land of No Living?"
...
Trying my hardest to finally understand but she closes those windows.
Locks me out from her land.
Just getting an existing but why won't she let me?
Let me into her Sin?
Where her pains first begin?
God, perhaps it's better off this way?
And God, what am Eye to do?
Continue to run *away?

Author Notes

*away: noun //away// 1. leave a place or location. "He had no choice but to leave" ... NoteIve been playing the game of "Hide and Go Seek" Since the beginning of my marriage almost Nine months ago.

Chapter 75
Iced Peach Tea

By Ricky1024

"Iced Peach Tea"
(For My Love Dawna Deborahara and a letter to God)
Written on March 7th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Dear God Above,
She compliments and completes me.
Each and every time she greets me.
With her Beautiful Blue eyes.
She make me cry.
I wonder how?
I wonder why?
...
God above, I try my best.
To realize yes now when she cries.
But God, why me?
What doth she see?
...
Perhaps it's my Broken Heart?
Been torn apart.
So many times.
Broken and always tested, mistreated, and broken.
Yes God, given but treated as a Token.
...
So when we fight and when we cry.
God, just a pair of fools?
Perhaps rusted and worthless *tools?

Author Notes

*tool: noun //tool// 1. Implement used to labour effortlessly. "He was but her tool the first time she smiled" Note: Marriage is a simple commitment to compliment two Human beings in Love. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Incredible Writer 'Doctor Ricky 1024' His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Iced Peach Tea"

Chapter 76
Waiting for You

By Ricky1024

"Waiting for You"
(For Dawna Deborahara Amanda O'Reel Smrkovsky)
Written on March 11th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

No matter how High the
"Purple Mountains Majesty"
To mount...
No matter how many particles
"Sugar Sand" on every beach front in every land.
To count.
How deep the Seven Seas.
No matter how Hot and torrid the
"Desert of Sands)
To Bear and stand...
...
No matter how mad, or how bad, or Unkind.
"The Sad"
Of My mind...
No matter how Broken or
how Shattered this Poets
Heart...
From the End to the very
Start...

****

I will be there
Yes, no matter how hard.
No matter how high the sky.
The Stars that I need to see...
Or how blind I am to you and me.
...
I want to stand by you on the mountain.
The many particles of sand to count.
How hot the desert where I stand.
...
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
And, I want to live like this forever and ever...
Until the sky falls down on me.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'saram.18' saram's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Making Her Wait"

Chapter 77
Accidentally Yours this Day

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Accidentally Yours on this Day"
(Dedicated to My Son Jason)
Written on March 31st, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'
...
8:00 p.m. March 31st, 2003.
Home from a hard day at work relaxing on the computer playing a simple game of chess.
The first noise was deafening enough.
Followed within mere seconds of the second noise which was even more horrible!
...
As I move forward an Express you will realize that this is more than just a game.
But is this insanity Within a single frame?
...
The call would come in from one of my daughters not to me though but Carolyn.
"You would better get over to Nautilus avenue right away Jason's been in a horrible accident!"
Stated Kyle Erin Harbach Drum.
...
It's funny how you can have the most faith in the world and hope and then it can be shattered within a blink of an eye!
...
The first thing I noticed when I pulled up to the scene was an Ocean County investigator marking and measuring the curbing.
The second thing I noticed was a woman attending to my son who was the passenger in a Ford mustang.
The third thing I noticed was the driver Brian Cole who I later learned was mentally ill.
At age 17 on a drug for adults called effexor.
...
"Get me out of here!"
Was his reply.
"Call my mother!"
With absolutely no concern for the victim
Note: Brian who was the driver was in a lying prone position with the wheel firmly against his chest.
Jason my son was gently leaning against the driver almost in a sleeping or passive position.
...
In my mind I immediately figured he was a big boy he'd be fine he was just unconscious.
A lot of the left side of the windshield was shattered while on Jason's side he was protected I thought?
...
As it started raining lately it was now around 8:30 people also were interested besides the fire company.
To play seem to be lit up like a Christmas tree.
When the firemen did not attend Brian but attended my son Jason first I got scared.
The one man cloaked my son while the other man was smashed the window with his ax.
I screamed out his name as a loaded him on the gurney.
"Jason!"
No reply.
...
The one hour drive down thr Garden State Parkway at about 95 mph to the Atlantic City hospital was a horrible situation for any human being to be in.
I would later learn that Jason would have a heart attack on the way in the helicopter but of course that was only temporary.
...
Now the nightmare on nolas avenue was ending but the new one was beginning!
For 17 hours I would walk in that room in tears and then out of that room in tears.
I could not stand being in there and I had to come back my son was there.
...
Note: And, because of Jason's injuries of being propelled into a telephone pole about 100 miles an hour he was raccooned.
Basically it looks like he was beat up in the boxing match with his eyes closed and swollen.
He had no physical bruising or Cuts or anything of the matter but I later learned that the Ford mustang convertible top was dislodged by Jason's head unfortunately.
...
Yes, Seventeen hours of tears watching Jason's brain blood oxygen level go backwards.
At one point we were told to leave the room when they would perform a simple procedure to tap his skull and relieve the pressure.
But you see there would not be no relief thousands of dollars of medications would not help either.
...
When I look back 21 years later on this day and think about the results.
I will leave you with this.
...
"To learn more about the Amazing process of
'Organ-Tissue Donations.'
Simply contact My dearest friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S. W. with
"The Gift of Life!"
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at
1-800-DONORS-1
...
Note: Three out of four human beings are still alive it is very moment in time.
One man shares Jason's heart and lungs while another man shares his right kidney.
The third person a little girl is now a grown woman living a normal life with Jason's left kidney.
The man who received Jason's liver had 8 years of life.
"And, the Beat Goes On!"
...
Jason Richard Smrkovsky
November 5th, 1984~
March 31st, 2003.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Incredible Writer 'Doctor Ricky 1024' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Butterflies are Free"

Chapter 78
Back Home

By Ricky1024

"Back Home"
Written on April 6th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Stemming the tide.
Waves casting colour of Blue perception.
Easterly direction.
Sails full blown ahead into Moon's glow.
(Don't you know?)
...
Sun's straining daylight and blaming the shame.
As palm trees crying Endless tears.
Rains persist with a single Kiss.
"Kiss of Blue Bliss"
...
Resist pain and blame as shame calls out my name
Easterly.
.Sails blown...
Soon...
Back *Home?
.

Author Notes

*Home: noun //home// 1. Abode 2. Dwelling 3. Castle in the sky. ... Note: This is another way to show the pain and blame of the loss of a loved one. .. Special thanks goes out first, as always to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'nikmsn' Nikmans Incredible Picture Entitled, "Still Building"

Chapter 79
Payment's Now Due (A)

By Ricky1024

"Payment's Now Due" (A)
Written on April 7th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Times pressing and the lack of window dressings.
Time as tested and more requested.
Money train long ago now seems like past "Darkened Snow"
As Death's cry and Icicles dig Deep.
...
Springs desires seemingly conspire.
So, as times are pressing the "Window Dressing"
As the sills talk...
So, does my Broken of Heart *Walk.

****

"Universally All Yours" (B)
Written on April 7th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024

The Sun's warmth is touching as my Souls been too, too, long Burned.
Eye now again yearn.
Yearn for better days?
...
Better days ahead for this
"Temple of Walking Dead"
Perhaps, or perhaps God, more
"Pain and Misery?"
"Slandered as Pretendered?"
My cup of wrath runneth over?
As voices capture the Rapture.
Times pressing and Eye am expecting.
Expecting God, no more or less?

Author Notes

*Walk: noun //walk// 1. Move our Human body in a forward of motion. "John had a long walk Monday to thr post office" Note: A Heart that walks away means simply to give up. And, the word "Eye" instead of the word "I" simply means to be bound or blind. ... Special thanks goes out, first as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'seshadri_sreenivasan' His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Angry Old Man"

Chapter 80
Timelessly Yours

By Ricky1024

"Timelessly Yours"
Written on April 28th, 2024.
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright C. Fanstory
All Rights Reserved

She's timelessly yours till the End.
"End of All Time.'
She will Love you and respect you forever as a Diamond shalleth Shine.
...
She will Nourish and cherish each and every Word that is said.
Because She's "Timelessly Yours."
Yours and there's no doubting this....
...
Yes, as She shows this with each and every "Sweet Kiss.'
each and every look in her Beautiful Crystal Blue Eyes.
This woman that Loves me but can never *Realize.

Author Notes

*Realize: Noun //realize// 1. To take notice. "You can never realize all my Love." Note: Marrige comes with ups and downs but True Love. Yes, goes round and round. ... Special thanks goe's out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and tom the Administrator. Fan Art review, this talented Artist, 'jeseul' And, his Incredible picture Entitled, "Timeless moment" "

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