By robina1978
Having been brought up in an overprotective family - especially as I was the eldest daughter - I started making up for missed fun, once I went to university. I used to go out three days every weekend. Nothing could stop me. My mother once told me the house was not just a hotel. In those days we did not go out till about 10 pm and often came back at 4 or 5 am. Then I slept till lunch time. When I look back, I was protesting against the sheltered life I had had and,had a vivid mind and curiosity about life and people.
One thing I always, or almost always, made sure of, was that I was in reliable company. I never drank too much at this age, mainly because I couldn't afford it. I have seen so many different places: gay, drug and criminal bars. I got stuck with a boyfriend on the beach once and his car had to be pulled out, being stuck in the sand. With one boy friend I went to an expensive striptease club in Antwerp. It may sound very courageous, but it took him a year to convince me to go. I guess my upbringing made me keep it safe as I had learned right from wrong.
I changed boyfriends more often than shoes. The problem was: I wanted someone who did not everything I wanted, but was superior or equal to me. I did not really want a steady relationship before I had finished university.
For holidays I used to go with my sister or a girlfriend. They used to be relatively calm; so these holidays were relatively peaceful and decent. At 27 years of age, there was nobody available to go on holiday with. Gathering up courage, I booked one alone, then nearly sold the ticket to my mother as I felt so scared of going by myself. Fortunately she would not take it and I did go to Corfu of all places. I like culture and picked a Greek isle with hardly any. On the plane I made friends with an elderly lady, so I would at least not have to eat alone. And it felt safer.
The first day I decided to go to a museum. An Italian guy joined me. He was not interested in any of the art. When he asked me if we could meet again, I said that we would just wait and see. This really meant that I had no interest whatsoever. He did not know this of course.
That evening Robert and I met for the first time.
For the next developments you have to wait till the next chapter.
| Author Notes |
photo I found in Photobucket.com.
This is written as a narrative as dialogues are not my best point. Still appreciate any help you can give. |
By robina1978
After dinner that evening I went to the bar. A tall handsome and pleasant looking man came nearer. He had dark, slightly curly hair and brown eyes. He was a bit taller than me and very slim. He actually looked exactly like a fortune teller had predicted - many years before. He approached me and asked if we could dance and if I would like a drink.
I said yes to both and when he came back with a drink for both of us, we made our introductions. His name was Robert ( nice name I thought ). Then he took me by surprise when he asked why some Italian had looked at him as if he wanted to kill him. Of course I managed to explain the situation honestly. The rest of the evening we were inseparable. Quite a few drinks later and a couple of dances, the music stopped. So we had to head for our room. He walked me to mine and I invited him in for a cup of coffee. I did really mean a cup of coffee. But before we knew it we were on my bed and started making love.
I had never believed in love at first sight, but that was what it was for both of us. No butterflies, this was more mature.
Then we talked for a while, smoking a ciggie, and for a first time we learned a lot about each other. He was divorced and had three boys, he talked so fondly and caring about them. He came from Aberdeen in Scotland and had his own place. I told him I was qualified as a Doctor and now training to become a Consultant Psychiatrist. He was a Registered Accountant and had held several management positions, but recently started working in his father's business. My thoughts were that was great that he did something so different from my profession. Both my parents were Consultant Psychiatrists and worked to hard and always talked shop. Robert was on a golfing holiday with his best friend.
I had rented a small car. The following days the three of us went sightseeing, as far as there was anything to go and see. The car was only insured on my name. On one of the first trip we drove to the top of a mountain, but went wrong and had to turn. It was not till then that I found out the handbrake did not work at all. Robert offered to turn the car, because he was more experienced with hills and mountains. I would not let him for the insurance sake. With me behind the wheel, he used the break pedal and I the gas and the clutch. I seem to remember we all had kittens. But we got back safely. We never got the hand break fixed, but tried to avoid situations like this.
The meals we also shared with the three of us. Can't understand now anymore why we did not mind to have Brian there much of the time. After dinner we used to go across to the bar, where there was music and dancing till the late hours. Then I suppose you can guess where it ended every night; in my room but that was just us two. Romancing and much more- hmmm.
Robert and Brian never played golf on this holiday then. I know for sure Robert did not mind, Brian might have. We never asked him though.
We made trips daily. I drove and Robert was reading the map. This could end up in real heavy discussions. He made the odd mistake and I had been used to perfect map readers and did not stand for less. From my point of view this showed how much I trusted him straight away. I never used to argue with strangers, just with the ones closest to me. I don't know if he saw it the same way. At least it did not stop him from seeing me again.
Near the end of my holiday we went to the shops and my eye fell on this lovely ring. I had quite a bit of money left and was determined to buy it. Robert and Brian stopped me which I did not like , let alone understand.
The day before I left, Robert gave me the ring as an engagement ring. I now was engaged to be married! I finally understood. My face was beaming and I had never felt so happy before. The next day they took me to the airport as I had to leave a couple of days before them.
We agreed to see each other in a fortnight In Holland, where I had my own apartment.
Back at work, the people whom I knew best, guessed what had happened even without being told. Whether I liked it or not, I had to inform my parents, before Robert came. They did not give much reaction.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to DeeM for the nice artwork.
Any help on language etc. is welcomed, but please no low ratings. If you don't like it just don't rate. Written in UK English and in narrative. |
By robina1978
Two weeks after I came home, I went to the airport to collect Robert. I was a bit apprehensive wondering if he'd really come.
But yes, there he was. We fell in each others arms and kissed- only shortly as we didn't like kissing in public.
We drove straight to my apartment. Then had a few drinks and a long chat.
We told each other about previous relationships. It was like a contest as to who had had most of them. I can't remember who had the most. But mine were all before we met. Robert had married very young and the marriage had not been a happy one. He had some flings during their marriage and many after they split up.
He and Kate tried their best to make their marriage work. They had two more sons and several moves to try. But as you will understand, that did not work.
The marriage had been so unhappy partly as he strongly suspected that Kate had been unfaithful during their engagement period. But he was so young and scared of his parents ( after a battered childhood ), that he did not dare and break it off. Robert was just 22 years old. I thought this was strange, but my upbringing was so different- not that great, but better and loads more freedom.
After his divorce he told one me about one really funny experience. He dated with a female. As he dated several at the same time, another one arrived at the door. So he ended up with two in one lounge. After a short time number two left and number one stayed. How embarrassing this must have been for all involved parties.
I said to him: 'this I never did. I always chucked one, before another one came'. 'I liked not too complicated situations.' 'Mind you, I swapped boyfriends as often as I read books'. 'I lost count in the end:)'
He told me:' his sons lived with his first wife.
'I looked forwards to this instant family, that we never managed to get.'
We went to bed rather late and did what all new engaged couples do ( Hmmm).
The next day we went to my parents together.
'I feared they might try and talk me out of the engagement. So I made one of my few bright moves.'
We went to the shop to buy engagement rings the Dutch way: This is a plain ring that you wore on your left hand and changed to your right hand at the wedding ceremony, assuming you were a Protestant.
That evening we went to my parents' place. We showed our rings, after introducing Robert of course. They made no comments, neither positive nor negative.
This told me enough, but it did not. We found out much later.
The weekend passed far too quickly and we said goodbye again at the airport.
He asked: 'Will you come to my place? But he had not informed his parents yet.'
Even more scared than I had been. I could not wait to see Scotland for the first time. We phoned each other every day. We occasionally argued over the phone. Coming from a big family of five I needed this. I knew then not if he did too?
He collected me from Aberdeen airport. Then we drove to his flat. It was nice, only the furnishing seemed so old-fashioned in my opinion. Later I learned this was one of the cultural differences between Holland and Scotland.
As my flight had been delayed it was bed-time after one or two drinks. In the middle of our foreplay, the phone rang. Robert answered the phone. His mother asked: 'Where did I stay?'
Robert said without any hesitation: 'At my place of course. We are thinking of coming for lunch tomorrow'. 'And the pair of you will be introduced.'
End of conversation.
Shortly after we heard she phoned to his sister expressing her concern about us being in the same house and not even being married. We laughed out loud about this. Robert is 9 years my senior, that made his parents half a generation older than mine. Now we are older we understood somewhat better.
The next day, we went over to his parents for lunch. I thought his parents were alright. But at that time I knew little about Robert's background. His father resembled my father in a way: somewhat dominant. But I could handle this no problem. The dinner was not that great, but the rest went alright.
After this we had 3 months of traveling up and down every two weeks, which made a big hole in our finances, but strengthened our love even more.
Then we had to decide where we stayed, and how and where we would get married.
You will have to wait till the next chapter.
| Author Notes |
Many thanks to Bertodi for the lovely art.
|
By robina1978
Some time soon we had to decide several matters. In which country would we have the wedding ceremony, which country would we live in? The wedding we decided was best held in Holland as I knew none of his relatives well and his sons had never met me. I thought it would be so nice to move to Scotland, I loved the countryside and the Scottish people. It would also probably be easier for me to find a job in Scotland than Robert in the Netherlands.
But I really had to have a job. Life already then meant nothing to me without work. The way I had been brought up I suppose. Fortunately Robert had a connection at the Psychiatric Hospital in Aberdeen. After checking with my former English teacher, if my English skills were up to par - which in his opinion was confirmed - I wrote an application letter. I got an appointment for an interview quite soon. Robert went with me, don't understand why now anymore. But it turned out to be most useful.
While we were sitting in a waiting room, an old chronic patient came up to me. She said: "Gies a fag."
I did not have a clue what she said, so I asked her about four times what she meant.
"Gies a fag. Gies a fag."
Then I had to ask Robert what she meant. She asked for a cigarette, my first real introduction to the Scottish language. I friendly turned down her request as you didn't want to encourage this begging - poor soul.
After this start the interview was the easy part and I got the job, having to start at the bottom of course and later having to sit a language test.
Then we had to register our intended marriage with the authorities. A three week period, where people could object if they knew of any valid reason why we could not be joined in matrimony. Nobody did of course.
Thursday was the day before the wedding. I wanted to try my wedding ring on my other hand as you wear your ring on your right hand after the wedding in Holland, when you are Protestant. And believe it or not it got stuck and did not want to move one way or the other. All my relatives got involved in trying all kind of tricks, but alas no luck. My finger became swollen and more painful after each try. Fortunately it was shopping night in The Hague on Thursday, so we ended up going to a jeweler to get it taken off. He used a saw and told us it would be three weeks before my finger would be back to normal and the ring could be made to size.
Then Friday 22nd December was the big day. We had paid for the clothes, the wedding and the photographer. Trust me to pick a photographer who's name stood out in the phone book - he was royal and therefore very expensive - which accounts for the fact that our wedding photo's are in black and white. Nice so then but very fashionable now. The one we liked best is the kiss and our two hands with one ring whole and one ring cut open. My parents paid for the meal afterwards. My mother and father were our witnesses. Then a few relatives and a couple of close family friends.
It was a day that would not pass without a couple of hurdles. We left in time of course, but my family arrived nearly and I really mean nearly too late. Then the ceremony in Dutch and English, so we would both understand what we did.
Exchanging rings and then the kiss of our life. At least the one of the start of our wedding. Robert was unfortunate having nobody there specially for him, but all we cared about was the two of us.
We came out married for better and for worse, like everybody does. But this has proven by now to last a life time.
Then all went to their separate cars. We decided we needed some privacy and went to a pub for a small celebration drink. Now it was us being slightly delayed for the dinner. But who cared, we did not.
Our wedding dinner was in my parent's local restaurant near their house. Usually it was reasonably good. This time we seem to remember the steak was good, but the knives so blunt, that it was very difficult to cut. Tasted not too bad. And all of us had a good time.
That evening we left for the holiday cottage that my parents owned in the countryside for a honeymoon weekend. And what a weekend it was, even in the middle of winter.
You will have to wait till the next chapter for this.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to ande500 for the artwork.
Written almost completely in narrative on purpose. Please be lenient on any mistakes and refrain if possible from low ratings, but just tips will be welcomed. |
By robina1978
We left for my parent's cottage that same evening after the dinner was finished.
This cottage was in the South-West of Holland, very close to water and in a tiny village. The cottage had been a laborour's cottage, that my parents had bought years ago, and had done it up really nicely at one time. They used it for frequent weekends away and holidays. To start with they paid someone to look after it but now supposedly they did it themselves.
It was one and a half hours drive from The Hague,so we arrived quite late. If you had seen the mess it was in, you would have been as appalled as we were on arrival. The family was in the habit of taking their whole menagerie of animals there. They owned 7 dogs, 12 cats and a monkey. To some of you this might sound nice; but we both can assure you it was not so. We were dead beat, so we decided to try and find the cleanest place possible and go to sleep first.
We woke up early and decided that there was no way we could stay in this mess, not even for a few days. There was cat pee and shit everywhere, also on the sleeping bags. The lounge had filthy dishes scattered around the tables. They were not only filthy, but some had rotting food on them. This was why our romantic-meant weekend started with loads of work to try and make the place habitable. The worst thing we found was a dead mouse with maggots crawling from a hole in his belly. After cleaning and tidying half a day, we decided that had to do. It was supposed to be OUR weekend to enjoy.
I can assure you that for years to come Robert thought I had been dragged up instead of brought up. Then I still tried to defend my family to a certain extent. Soon I understood. But most of my life had been different.
We went to the local shops to get all the supplies we needed, which was not that much. Then straight back to the cottage. Can't remember us going out anymore. We spent nearly all our time in bed and making love as often as we could. Occasionally we ate a bit and had a drink to celebrate our marriage.
It was great to be married and not having to travel up and down to go and see each other.
The long weekend passed quickly and afterwards we flew from Amsterdam to Aberdeen.
Work did not permit us to go and say bye to the family. Honestly, after this experience we had had enough of them for a while.
One final chapter to follow about the start we had in Scotland.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to little Bredy for the use of this photo.
Written in narrative on purpose. Please refrain from low ratings and only give tips to improve, that is highly appreciated. UK English. |
By robina1978
Robert is nearly dead. The nurse could not predict when of course, but he is slowly going downhill.
I said my goodbyes this afternoon.
He sad he loved me, we kissed. The nurse got him to say he'd rather I left.
I got the dog back home a little while ago. The mother and sister of my neighbour across the corridor were kind enough to pick him up.
Two boys are on the way over. The middle one leaves at 0.00 hour, so will arrive early tomorrow morning. He will help me with buying a suit that fits. And anything else that is needed.
I probably won't be on line for quite a while. I miss him so much.
I wanted to send a Christmas card, but it is in a file I can't post.
I sincerely wish all of you a very Happy Holiday season.
| Author Notes | This is how Robert looked when we were just married. |
By robina1978
We arrived at Amsterdam Airport in time. You have to be there in time as it is so big. This gave us enough time for some shopping. We had a proper look around. We bought mainly booze and cigarettes as they were so much cheaper than in Scotland.
The flight went straight to Aberdeen Airport. This was nice. The previous months during our engagement I regularly ended up in Glasgow or Edinburgh due to the weather conditions. Roberts car was in the car park. We went to his flat.
It was so nice that this was our home now.
The next morning he had a surprise for me: my wedding present. It was a small Alpha Romeo, not new- but a good second hand is what we thought. Later it turned out to be a disaster. The steering wheel came loose one day. This happened while being parked, so no harm done. But I would never look at this brand again.
Later that morning I decided to go to the supermarket nearby. Robert had explained exactly where it was. Driving on the left side was no problem at all. But there was so much snow on the road. This scared me so much. I had never seen this much snow before in my whole life.
I bought all that we needed from the shopping list, we had made together. In the shop I found a pot with shrimp cocktail. I did not like this. Most people do though. So I got it as a special treat for Robert. Unpacking the messages, it turned out to be my first disappointment. Robert did not like shrimps at all. They ended up in the bin.
The next couple of days I tried to do some more shopping in the center of town. It was so hard to locate the shops. The signs were flat on the shop and not sticking out like in Holland. This took a lot of getting used to, I can assure you. I went by foot because of all the snow. I did not dare to drive up. I came back with a lovely pair of black boots with high heels. I put them on, so I had to carry less. When I got home my feet were so sore. Robert thought I was a stupid idiot. Who would buy boots that did not fit? But they did fit. All that was needed was walking them in with due care.
We had a few very loving nights. Long as well. That was possible as long as we did not have to go to work.
The day we both had to start work came quickly. Robert and I had practiced the road to the Psychiatric Hospital a couple of times. Because I had to be able to drive there myself.
My start at the hospital went fine. Everybody was very pleasant and helpful. You wouldn't believe how many compliments I received from the secretaries on my language. The system was very different. The main difference was that you got far more supervision than in Holland. This meant I learned quite a bit more.
I understood most patients alright. Apart from the elderly ones and the ones from the town center (they had a very broad accent). The nurses usually helped out with this in the start.
The only thing that really scared me was to do ECT twice a week. This then was the first choice treatment for depression. In Holland people had almost completely turned against this. After a couple of weeks I saw the advantages. The patients improved so quickly. Really amasing, but so good to see.
There were no isolation rooms for the very disturbed. They got one to one guidance by a nurse. This worked well for almost all.
My car had to have L-plates at the beginning. Within 6 months I had to set my test again. And got it it one go. Within this time I also had to do an exam to prove my language skills were enough to work in a UK hospital. You might guess by now: they were.
I won't elaborate on the rest of our marriage. This book would get too long.
We had our hurdles through the years. This proved in the end only to strengthen our marriage.
| Author Notes |
Courtesy to photobucket.com for the photo.
Please be lenient on language and punctuation mistakes. Or even better give tips how to improve. |
By robina1978
By sheer coincidence we met, many years ago.
A none of my friends could go at the time I had planned for this holiday, I was forced to go by myself. I did not like this, and nearly sold the ticket to my Mum. She would or could not help out.
But I don't get caught by one mishap. On the plane I met this lovely old lady, ideal to be my chaperon. She was so nice, we agreed to meet at breakfast. Unfortunately for her this stayed a one off.
The day after arrival I intended to go to town. I met this Italian guy who had absolutely no interest in culture. So I was forced to chuck him out of the window. Not literary, just did not make any next appointments.
At night there was a hotel disco. I went down there as I liked and like dancing a lot. Here Robert approached me ( it turned out later he had already spotted me at breakfast time ). We fell for each other immediately. We danced some, had interest in several things. If looks could have killed The Italian bastard would have killed him, but he did not.
At the end of the evening Robert walked me back to my room. Now here our stories split or differ quit a bit. Robert claims, as I invited him in for coffee I seduced him.
My plain mind thinks no way, coffee is not an invitation for sleeping together. In his country it is also not that, there it means: please leave sometime soon.
I hired a car, and intended to drive it too, cause it was just insured for me.
We travelled a bit. Robert's friend Brian joined us, stupid guy. But they were on holiday together.
I was not used to driving these mountains with steep corners. O Robert wanted to take the wheel from me. I refused of course. We both got somewhat angry with each other. A deal was made I the middle. He'd handle the break, while I did the rest. This was needed as the normal breaks were not up to it.
Anyway we got safely back to the hotel, splitting Brian away from us two.
Another day on my last part of the holiday, we went to town. I was determined to buy the ring I liked. My money was burning in my purse. Money should roll at any time. With some struggle Robert and Brian managed to keep me away from the shop. I threatened to loose my temper.
But when I left to go home, I was engaged to be married. Beaming like a house on fire or a lovely hot sun.
Because I did not trust my parents to agree at all, we went to buy real wedding rings. No way could they stop us then. My parents were unpleasantly surprised, partly as they saw their eldest daughter leaving the country. They also assumed that his education was no good enough.
But in Holland he'd be a 'Register Accountant', in the UK they call this Registered Accountant.
I think I might be mixing things up a bit, sorry.
His parents were somewhat similar. One thing was truly and totally different: his father had always abused him from age four years. Why and how we never completely knew. When I asked hid sister she'd go completely ballistic. She is a fat pig, so different from Robert. She was hid father's favourite though. His father even tried to get her on a private school. Thy would not take her. At last she became a teacher of artwork, and cooking. You've never seen a kitchen as dirty as hers.
This happens a lot. People work in a certain area, doing well. But don't do anything at home.
Robert and I must be exceptions to this rule.
I wanted to write some more. First I have to take Smokey out on the scoot -mobile. Smokey only had two runs again. Now I am back-LOL.
Believe it or not, Robert helped me by phone, to get the television in the bed room working again. So a bit later I can watch tele in bed again.
These things can only happen after so many years of marriage. Agreed?
Tomorrow, Hell brakes loose, if I can't see him.
| Author Notes | Photo was made by a The Hague photographer, shortly after we were married. |
|
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