boedink (boe): Just my thoughts on life in general.... Just an update on my cancer evaluations today: Given that I have been a "test-monkey" for the a Cancer Center for a few years, today was quite a new experience (experiment). I checked into the Radiology dept. @ 10:00 A.M. I filled out a medical form for a 71.5 year detailed history / legal malpractice protection initiative form / Supreme Court Ruling document giving up my rights to legal action (and my 1st born son [and 33% {+/- 17%}] of any 401K plan, IRA, Roth IRA, bank account within the continental US..or any offshore bank account in the Bahamas, Switzerland, the Cayman Islands....or PERU).... should I die in the: - hallway - the cafeteria - the gift store - the parking lot - on the table of an MRI, CT, or PET-Scan torture machine - or in the bathroom...on their property Finally I got called to the nuclear experiment lab (medicine?) section to get another briefing on the nuclear waste that they were going to inject into me so they could light me up like a "neon-sign" and see if I could help them out for their upcoming Halloween party! I got a CT bone scan there (Computed Tomography [acutally Common Torture]) as they strapped me down like a prisoner in a French prison basement.....where the torture actually takes place...for condemned prisoners.. Next, after that was over, I had to wait another two hours for the nuclear waste to infiltrate my whole body cavity...so they could do a PET-Scan (Positron-Emission-Tomography) actually it was (street-talk) Poison-Effectivity-Torture...to see if I might be a candidate for center-stage (top-billing) for their Halloween party! They strapped my up like a common criminal...hands locked above my head (of course with medical handcuffs), a warm blanket (soley to distract me)..and I am not sure....but I think they might have put ropes around my ankles to stretch me out to the dimensions that the Common Torture machine needed to get good data...That fun was over in about 32 minutes (+/-) 10. I was then told to stay the hell away from the hospital cafeteria...for at least 4 hours..so they could inject more mind-blowing drugs into my body for 2 final tests on a torture table called...."an MRI machine." MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging)..actually it is a Gov't controlled mind machine to "Manage-Revolutionary-Indigents." Once again, I was strapped down like a prisoner in a French prison dungeon to be tortured with "state of the art" medicine machinery that would measure my tolerance to pain, audio imbalance frequencies, and noises I have never heard from any AM or FM station in my life experience...(Well maybe a pirate FM station operating deeply in Lake Chelan...from a bullet-boat..that is faster than a Gov't R&D DARPA boat...in level 2 testing...and 2 years behind schedule and 30% over cost). Back to the testing......45 minutes of "hold-your-breath"...then breath....hold your breath...then breath.....almost every five minutes. Followed by the most obnoxious sounds I have ever heard coming out of a machine..approved by the FDA! They gave me a chord with a button I could push...to tell them that I was having serious issues. Every time I pushed the button....I heard laughter in the back-ground between 2 technicians. I seriously believe...that those 2 were just seeing how long I could hold my breath?...and then laughing about it...when I pushed the button..requesting a "hard-shot" of oxygen...Those buggers were messing with me...I am sure...They got paid to screw-with-me....and I actually paid for it?..and believed?...What a Jack-ass level they tested/validated on me... (pardon me..donkey)... I think...quite honestly, that they were conducting a test on the PSL (patient-stupidity-level) for some Gov't funded R&D...to capture statistical data on some medical grant to figure out/support the ETL (embarrassment-tolerance-level) of people that retired on Gov't projects...and might possibly have a few strings missing on their mental harps.... Just my thoughts... Marve/Boe |
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then, I'm inclined to say, "well... one more time isn't gonna kill him" I suppose this shit happens to people who have a sense of humor, eh? Or is it that we just end up developing one out of necessity? ;) Believe me, I enjoyed reading about your excursions today MUCH more than you enjoyed having them. ((((((sending love and MUCH more laughter your way)))))))(sounds like you might be needing it, my dear) :( - | ||
The funniest part is telling you to stay away from the hospital cafeteria. Seriously, so glad you are smiling. Big hugs to you. - | ||
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