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kiwisteveh

Easter Basket by damettagin

Excellent
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A cute Easter poem detailing the supposed origin of Easter Egg hunts. This would make a nice poem to be read to children.

One curious thing I noticed is that you changed your rhyme scheme from aabb in the first stanza to abab thereafter....

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014

Excellent
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I enjoyed your thought=provoking story with its rather sad ending as the unwanted clones are destroyed.

I was surprised and a little disappointed by the very last section where you felt it necessary to comment on the ideas in the story - in my opinion, the piece would be much stronger without this unnecessary section.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Awaiting Your Return by E Vin Smyth

Excellent
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There is a strong feeling of yearning in this poem of love and loss, expressed in the form of a dream where a departed loved one returns.

The piece has a sense of completion created by the last stanza echoing the first.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014

If I Could Write A Poem

Excellent
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Interesting concept to illustrate the worth of poetry for this prompt.

I liked the structured development of the piece from king to friend to self.

Good luck in the contest.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

I Will Work for Love by Chrisfiore

Excellent
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Good consistent use of the theme of working to earn love. Your poem strongly resembles song lyrics, right down to a repeating chorus and a fade out at the end.

Some good examples of internal rhymes add interest.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014

He Loves Me? by Pegcook

Excellent
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Ah, but lust's pleasure land sounds pretty good to me...

This is a cute fulfilment of the the prompt - the quick-fire rhyming lines zap us through the poem in double time with a chuckle or two along the way.

Good luck in the contest.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Love Poetry Is Serious Business by El Coyote

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It takes a brave soul to mock himself as you have done here with your entry for this contest and its ironic final line.

The poem itself is told in strong abab rhyming quatrains.

Good luck in the contest.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Trust No More. by seken58

Excellent
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Your photo looks like a New Zealand farm scene...

There is a deep sense of hurt and betrayal running through your lines - worse of course when it comes from those you should be most able to trust.

Your story is told in solid rhyming quatrains and there is plainly more to be told at a future date.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014

5-7-5 senryu (hop to it) by Teddy Bears All

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

And reindeer barbecue at Christmas time I suppose!

Double irony too to put carrots in with him...

Best of luck in the contest with this rather bizarre entry.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Wrinkles by visionary1234

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You haven't labelled this as biography and I have been fooled by such things before, but it does have the intensely personal feel about it...

What a vivid portrayal of the unravelling of a life with the strong contrast between the manicuredness of before and the MissHavishamness of your return - all captured so wonderfully in the symbolic wrinkles.

Steve
Comment Written by kiwisteveh on 20-Apr-2014


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