Orphan
A true-ish story16 total reviews
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
Wow Mister orphan at 75, it's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place here well we would have to really consider Assisted Living For You I think that would be better than suggesting that you're an orphan okay. Sorry about your parents though but I'm sure they had to be pretty much up in a if you're 75 so I think it was time for them to depart from this dear old earth. For some reason I'm a kind of chuckling at the whole idea of you being an orphan and 75 forgive me but it's got a little humor to it for me
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Wow Mister orphan at 75, it's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place here well we would have to really consider Assisted Living For You I think that would be better than suggesting that you're an orphan okay. Sorry about your parents though but I'm sure they had to be pretty much up in a if you're 75 so I think it was time for them to depart from this dear old earth. For some reason I'm a kind of chuckling at the whole idea of you being an orphan and 75 forgive me but it's got a little humor to it for me
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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I am pleased my silly little rhyme made ypu chuckle. That was the intention.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Bill Schott
This naani, Orphan, uses twenty-two syllables and four lines to bring mirth to the otherwise sad revelation that our parents have moved on. This reminds me, sort of, of a story about a man on trial for murdering both his parents. When sentenced, he asked for leniency because he was an orphan.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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This naani, Orphan, uses twenty-two syllables and four lines to bring mirth to the otherwise sad revelation that our parents have moved on. This reminds me, sort of, of a story about a man on trial for murdering both his parents. When sentenced, he asked for leniency because he was an orphan.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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That story is funny. Glad you liked mine. Thanks Bill.
Comment from kathleenspalding
I'm sorry for your loss, and your poem still gave me a smile at the end. I see no errors in this well written Naani Poem. Excellent artwork. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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I'm sorry for your loss, and your poem still gave me a smile at the end. I see no errors in this well written Naani Poem. Excellent artwork. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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Thank you Kathleen.
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You're welcome
Comment from cupa tea
seventy-five years young you say! Nice idea. Your poem was easy to follow and it gave me a smile when I read the punch line! Good luck in the contest...You never know about these things...
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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seventy-five years young you say! Nice idea. Your poem was easy to follow and it gave me a smile when I read the punch line! Good luck in the contest...You never know about these things...
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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So glad you enjoyed it. Many thanks for the review
Comment from Joan E.
Thanks for letting us know you bent the truth--are you older than seventy-five? Regardless, you are at least a year older than I; so, I must defer to you! Thanks for sharing your unusual naani and serene artwork selection. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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Thanks for letting us know you bent the truth--are you older than seventy-five? Regardless, you are at least a year older than I; so, I must defer to you! Thanks for sharing your unusual naani and serene artwork selection. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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I am in fact 75 so your are one year younger(a mere child). Thanks for the review. Take care. Jen.
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Again, good luck in the contest my senior! -Joan
Comment from Elizabeth Joanne
This poem says a lot about the bond between parents and children at any age. Very nicely written. Though there are not many words, this piece says a great deal.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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This poem says a lot about the bond between parents and children at any age. Very nicely written. Though there are not many words, this piece says a great deal.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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Many thanks for commenting.
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
I loved your topic and choice of words. Your last line grabs me, "I'm only seventy-five." I lost both my parents by age 47, and I feel like a lost little girl, so understand this poem so very much! I related to the emotion!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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I loved your topic and choice of words. Your last line grabs me, "I'm only seventy-five." I lost both my parents by age 47, and I feel like a lost little girl, so understand this poem so very much! I related to the emotion!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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Thanks a lot Cindy for reading my silly little offering. I am so sorry that you lost your parents young. Take care. Love Jen
Comment from Marisela Contona
This is a nice poem. Well structured, formated with a nice flow. Good wording, and the color scheme and image goes well with the piece.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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This is a nice poem. Well structured, formated with a nice flow. Good wording, and the color scheme and image goes well with the piece.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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Many thanks for your comments
Comment from meeshu
this is such a sad poem, we never lose the feeling of being orphaned.
I was 56 when I became an orphan and hit me hard. the raw emotion in this work
is moving.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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this is such a sad poem, we never lose the feeling of being orphaned.
I was 56 when I became an orphan and hit me hard. the raw emotion in this work
is moving.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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Thanks a lot for the review.
Comment from Jo-Anne Hemming
An orphan at seventy is an interesting situation to write about. You gave us no hint, however, as to how we should feel--happy they lived so long--sad that she is an orphan? She stated "just the facts" and seemed unaffected too. That said, I liked the orphan at seventy idea.
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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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An orphan at seventy is an interesting situation to write about. You gave us no hint, however, as to how we should feel--happy they lived so long--sad that she is an orphan? She stated "just the facts" and seemed unaffected too. That said, I liked the orphan at seventy idea.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2018
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Thanks for reading. It was just a bit of fun.
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And fun to think about - thanks
