Chapter Two - The Run Away
Craig Morgan runs away from home10 total reviews
Comment from LaRosa
You betcha, I think you should continue the story!
It's colorfully narrated and draws the reader into both the child's story and especially the dog's.
Good writing.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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You betcha, I think you should continue the story!
It's colorfully narrated and draws the reader into both the child's story and especially the dog's.
Good writing.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this portion. Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from judiverse
If you've got a border collie, you've got a winner. The dog is very wise, having to fend for himself, even stealing bread for his master, although the man is deceased. He keeps trying to give advice to Craig, who unfortunately doesn't understand dog language. Craig sounds like a good name who for a boy whose father is so snobbish. Jojo knows the boy shouldn't run away, although he's understandably mad at his father because he doesn't want him to have an animal like jojo. Why couldn't his father compromise and get a pedigreed dog, but allow Craig to keep jojo anyway? The dog is going to be Craig's protector, so that's good. Great story. judi
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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If you've got a border collie, you've got a winner. The dog is very wise, having to fend for himself, even stealing bread for his master, although the man is deceased. He keeps trying to give advice to Craig, who unfortunately doesn't understand dog language. Craig sounds like a good name who for a boy whose father is so snobbish. Jojo knows the boy shouldn't run away, although he's understandably mad at his father because he doesn't want him to have an animal like jojo. Why couldn't his father compromise and get a pedigreed dog, but allow Craig to keep jojo anyway? The dog is going to be Craig's protector, so that's good. Great story. judi
Comment Written 16-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Always appreciate your reviews and comments.
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You're very welcome. judi
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You're welcome. judi
Comment from Janilou
Notes:
Without slowing down, the mongrel cut against the flow of traffic
To me a 'mongrel' means a dog of mixed breed, but you say this is a border collie. Just a thought. :-)
Great descriptions in your writing. Vivid and very easy to "see" while reading.
I understand the struggle to present Jojo's thoughts. There is a great debate from what I've gathered online about the correct or best way to do it. In my novel I have a dragon who communicates with people, and I chose to put her words in italics.
Having JoJo's name in front of the sentences belonging to him is okay, but I did find it pulled me out of the story a little. What the answer is if you don't want to use italics, I don't know.
Nothing else to suggest. I look forward to reading more.
Jan
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Notes:
Without slowing down, the mongrel cut against the flow of traffic
To me a 'mongrel' means a dog of mixed breed, but you say this is a border collie. Just a thought. :-)
Great descriptions in your writing. Vivid and very easy to "see" while reading.
I understand the struggle to present Jojo's thoughts. There is a great debate from what I've gathered online about the correct or best way to do it. In my novel I have a dragon who communicates with people, and I chose to put her words in italics.
Having JoJo's name in front of the sentences belonging to him is okay, but I did find it pulled me out of the story a little. What the answer is if you don't want to use italics, I don't know.
Nothing else to suggest. I look forward to reading more.
Jan
Comment Written 15-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from Sankey
A great chapter. I know I am gonna like this as I do all your stuff. Dunno what I will do when I leave this place. Hopefully, you have a blog of your stuff elsewhere. I started to review this earlier today and my puter cut off. I lost suggestions for fixing and now you fixed em, hehe. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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A great chapter. I know I am gonna like this as I do all your stuff. Dunno what I will do when I leave this place. Hopefully, you have a blog of your stuff elsewhere. I started to review this earlier today and my puter cut off. I lost suggestions for fixing and now you fixed em, hehe. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Always appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Wetbelly01
Ohhh Yeah!... What a Great concept!...
I Gotta find out how this flows!...
Did see a ' glitch'... "the dog standing (beside) his son"...
Otherwise, KEEP IT COMIN' as far as I'm concerned!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Ohhh Yeah!... What a Great concept!...
I Gotta find out how this flows!...
Did see a ' glitch'... "the dog standing (beside) his son"...
Otherwise, KEEP IT COMIN' as far as I'm concerned!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thanks. Appreciate your comments and support.
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You're real welcome!
Comment from misscookie
You captured my attention from the first line to the last
I'm not much on reading story for my mind wanderers a lot .
I'm glad It didn't today
thank you for sharing
cookie
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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You captured my attention from the first line to the last
I'm not much on reading story for my mind wanderers a lot .
I'm glad It didn't today
thank you for sharing
cookie
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thanks misscookied. Always appreciate your comments and support.
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It is my pleasure.
Cookie
Comment from Pamusart
I wonder if they go back home. I ran away when I was 12 for one day. My stomach was knotted the entire time. It was entertaining. We will find out in the next chapter what happened. Thank you for sharing. I like the concept of the talking dog
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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I wonder if they go back home. I ran away when I was 12 for one day. My stomach was knotted the entire time. It was entertaining. We will find out in the next chapter what happened. Thank you for sharing. I like the concept of the talking dog
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thanks. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks carrying his bike, about evening, a 12-year old boy just after a little fight with his businessman father runs away from home and his newly taken Jojo a sheepdog collie; well written, well done. B A CHANGE INSPIRER-WRITER -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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This speaks carrying his bike, about evening, a 12-year old boy just after a little fight with his businessman father runs away from home and his newly taken Jojo a sheepdog collie; well written, well done. B A CHANGE INSPIRER-WRITER -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thanks. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Rasmine
Brett,
I like this. Push it and finish. That is what I am trying to do, you could be surprised with where the story goes. I wrote a story about a woman changing in midlife -- I turned it into a supernatural story and was pleased with how it came out. I want to submit it on here but Flower needs to be done.
Good luck with your story.
Nome
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Brett,
I like this. Push it and finish. That is what I am trying to do, you could be surprised with where the story goes. I wrote a story about a woman changing in midlife -- I turned it into a supernatural story and was pleased with how it came out. I want to submit it on here but Flower needs to be done.
Good luck with your story.
Nome
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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As always thanks. Much appreciated.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hi, I think Jojo's perspective is fun and makes for good reading. He is feisty and had a well-developed character. I think your story would be worth continuing and have no suggestions for making it better. Good job, Ana.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Hi, I think Jojo's perspective is fun and makes for good reading. He is feisty and had a well-developed character. I think your story would be worth continuing and have no suggestions for making it better. Good job, Ana.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2018
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Thanks. Appreciate your comments and support.
