The Blackbird is Flown
A short rhymed poem41 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
-what a melancholic elegy but one that is written with such romantically poetic tempo that glides ever so lightly off the tongue and lips.
-This is one of the most delicate yet heartfelt goodbyes that's more like a salutation to a new beginning by comforting the past for the dear friends.
-In reading your poem a comfortably three times I noticed in the first line used The verb is instead of has in the line, "Though the blackbird IS flown...", should I stand corrected, Tony?
-Very beautifully written and it would probably sound great as an oratory poem.
-Thanks for sharing this, Tony, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Cheers, Tony;
-what a melancholic elegy but one that is written with such romantically poetic tempo that glides ever so lightly off the tongue and lips.
-This is one of the most delicate yet heartfelt goodbyes that's more like a salutation to a new beginning by comforting the past for the dear friends.
-In reading your poem a comfortably three times I noticed in the first line used The verb is instead of has in the line, "Though the blackbird IS flown...", should I stand corrected, Tony?
-Very beautifully written and it would probably sound great as an oratory poem.
-Thanks for sharing this, Tony, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Many thanks for your review and suggestion, Alex. Much appreciated as always. All the best to you and yours. Tony
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You're very welcome, Tony, and take care.
Alex
Comment from MSJVClarke
This is a lovely short poem. It flowed so smoothly and such a great sentimentality to it. Yes, as we grow older, we realize the things we will miss with the aging of our bodies and minds. I like the rhyming and it is a very pleasant poem.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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This is a lovely short poem. It flowed so smoothly and such a great sentimentality to it. Yes, as we grow older, we realize the things we will miss with the aging of our bodies and minds. I like the rhyming and it is a very pleasant poem.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Many thanks for your review and comments, MSJVC. Much appreciated as always. All the best to you. Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again your poem flows very smoothly with a musical rhythm to it. I enjoyed reading and read it three times because it was fun to read. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Once again your poem flows very smoothly with a musical rhythm to it. I enjoyed reading and read it three times because it was fun to read. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Many thanks for your review and comments, Barbara. Much appreciated as always. All the best to you. Tony
Comment from estory
This is a really nice romantic piece, very musical, I liked the meter and the rhyme echoed really well. The images are first rate; images of the blackbirds, their singing, as a memory. The idea of lost moments, echoing in our souls, seems so central to the romantic concept, the idea of the imperfection of things, of not appreciating the moment when we are in it, and then when we appreciate it, the moment is gone. Your poem captures this sentiment. estory
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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This is a really nice romantic piece, very musical, I liked the meter and the rhyme echoed really well. The images are first rate; images of the blackbirds, their singing, as a memory. The idea of lost moments, echoing in our souls, seems so central to the romantic concept, the idea of the imperfection of things, of not appreciating the moment when we are in it, and then when we appreciate it, the moment is gone. Your poem captures this sentiment. estory
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Many thanks for your review and comments, estory. Much appreciated as always. All the best to you. Tony
Comment from Ogden
Replete with imagery and melancholy, your poem is an involving read. I'm hoping you will tell me the lines about your temporal lobe are fictitious, Tony.
Don (Ogden)
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Replete with imagery and melancholy, your poem is an involving read. I'm hoping you will tell me the lines about your temporal lobe are fictitious, Tony.
Don (Ogden)
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Many thanks for your review and comments, Don. Much appreciated as always. No, the piece isn't autobiographical - not yet, anyway! All the best to you. Tony
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A cryptic, if not ominous, reply.
The best to you, too.
Comment from smileycloud
this is a little sad and a little meloncholy but mostly it is beautiful and sweet
the word imagery is fabulous
blessings
have a smiley day
Lorraine
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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this is a little sad and a little meloncholy but mostly it is beautiful and sweet
the word imagery is fabulous
blessings
have a smiley day
Lorraine
Comment Written 10-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Many thanks for your review, Lorraine. Appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from ameen786
A beautiful ditty with a poignant theme in excellent rhymes and so delightful when read in one breadth; thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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A beautiful ditty with a poignant theme in excellent rhymes and so delightful when read in one breadth; thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Very many thanks for your review and comments, Ameen. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Marvin Calloway
You're not getting away that easily. You have a long way to go, a lot more to do, people to cheer up and inspire.
Who knows? Your best work may be yet to come.
Marv
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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You're not getting away that easily. You have a long way to go, a lot more to do, people to cheer up and inspire.
Who knows? Your best work may be yet to come.
Marv
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2018
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Very many thanks for your review and comments, Marv. Much appreciated! This one wasn't intended to be autobiographical -
yet! Tony
Comment from LIJ Red
Yeah, growing old alone is for the birds, black or whatever hue you like. Nicely rhymed short poem, to my way of thinking, and an excellent post.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Yeah, growing old alone is for the birds, black or whatever hue you like. Nicely rhymed short poem, to my way of thinking, and an excellent post.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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For the birds... too true!
Comment from rama devi
touching poem. Excellent musicality, flow, rhymes and slant rhymes, phonetics and vocabulary choices. I especially loved these lines (note one spag):
its echo forlorn
in the jumble of years
(')mid atrophied layers
of my temporal lobe,
Amid might sound even better with the alliteration of A. Just a thought.
Another spag suggestion:
Though the blackbird is flown
and my hearing is gone(,)
I still hear the song,
Poignant closing note and well voiced, plus fine unusual alliteration of J:
and the jumble of fears
as my heartstrings grow cold
and I journey alone...
I shall miss you, my dears.
Touching. Very good work! Lovely presentation.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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touching poem. Excellent musicality, flow, rhymes and slant rhymes, phonetics and vocabulary choices. I especially loved these lines (note one spag):
its echo forlorn
in the jumble of years
(')mid atrophied layers
of my temporal lobe,
Amid might sound even better with the alliteration of A. Just a thought.
Another spag suggestion:
Though the blackbird is flown
and my hearing is gone(,)
I still hear the song,
Poignant closing note and well voiced, plus fine unusual alliteration of J:
and the jumble of fears
as my heartstrings grow cold
and I journey alone...
I shall miss you, my dears.
Touching. Very good work! Lovely presentation.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 09-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
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Thanks, as always, RD. You know how much I appreciate your reviews. Yes, 'amid' is a better option. I have amended in line with your suggestions. Best wishes, Tony
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Yay! :-)))
