Reviews from

Winter Has Passed

A Tri-Fall Poem for Potlatch

31 total reviews 
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-Very nice image and presentation.
-Notes are appreciated.
-You have done a very good job
with the requirements of this style.
-Very good imagery that makes me
more than ready for Spring!
-I like the line about squirrels "cursing cats!"

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    That's the way it sounds to me. lol.

    Thank you for this great review.
reply by Pam (respa) on 09-Feb-2018
    I agree! You are very welcome for the review.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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Your rhyme works out great in this. You make me long for spring. We have several squirrels around where we live. They seem to be busy all year 'round. It's great to think that spring is finally on its way. Just a few more weeks. I think lots of people prefer spring to any other season. Great words to show action, like peeping, cavorting, hovering. Makes things easy to visualize. judi

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    Thank you for those lovely comments.

    Everyone is looking for Spring, but I still love winter best. 8-)
reply by judiverse on 09-Feb-2018
    I'll take spring, then! judi
Comment from Mustang Patty
Excellent
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Hi, Yvonne;
Thank you so much for sharing this lovely poetic form with us. I've read a few others, and I have to say I think this poetic form is lovely.

Isn't it wonderful that some things are starting to bloom already?

~patty~

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    It is nice, but I still like winter best. 8-)

    Thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you like this form.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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Try as I may, I still have a hard time with the form even with the excellent notes. So please let me just say it is a very descriptive piece and follows the rules. But I love the idea of Spring.lol

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    Thank you. I still like winter best. lol. Now, come on. I know you can do one of these if I can. 8-)
Comment from jenintorre
Excellent
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I really enjoyed reading this poem about spring approaching. You describe it so well with some beautiful phrases such as " they've only been sleeping, waiting around". Nice one. Jen.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    Thank you. This is very nice review. 8-)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written tri-fall poem. The winter has passed and Spring cannot wait to show its blooms.

The second stanza seems not right, a suggested change in the first line will be fixing the problem.

Squirrels (are) cavorting (up trees,)drop this
cursing cats,
and bees are buzzing everywhere,
hummingbirds hovering,
having spats
with any who try to feed there.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    I'll take a look at it. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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This sticks to the rules like glue and has appropriate content too. At breakfast time this morning it was snowing fit to bust. By lunchtime the sun was shining in a clear blue sky and all asigns of snow had vanished. I even caught sight of a purple crocus trying to bloom.

Try writing 3 amphibrachs!
"I walked in| my back yard| on Friday" (9)
then 2 amphibrachs and a catalectic trochee!
and spotted| a crocus in| bloom (6)

The secret is to find the right two words for the 5th and sixth syllables because you are going to split that line and you will need to rhyme those 5th and sixth syllables

I walked in my back yard (6)
on Friday (3)
and spotted a crocus in bloom (6)
my boyfriend's a blackguard
but tidy
and always 'tis he sweeps the room

That way you still obey the rules and get a terrific rhythm as well.




 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    I'll try. It's a tall order, because I had enough trouble with this one. But I'm up for anything. Almost. lol

    Thanks for reviewing and the interest.
Comment from TPAC
Excellent
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Not fully clear on the style but hold an opinion about this write statement. I found this work filled with informative bits, a person who loves nature, giving to the reader their eye view. In my opinion of this write, very good.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    Thank you. I appreciate that.
Comment from Ogden
Excellent
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A six-worthy offering, but, unfortunately, none in my allotment remains. I love your humor. and the degree of difficulty to have created such excellence, clearly was quite high.

I suspect we have crossed paths before, mystery writer.

Don (aka Ogden)

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    Yes, we have. Thank you for a wonderful review. What lovely compliments.


Comment from frierajac
Excellent
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This is a cheery poem and I would like to follow suit. Iw ould like to have a cheery poem to write and still don't know about it being my style. The information is completely 'all there'- just like the references to the season's natural delights.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    Thank you. I still like winter best. lol