Reviews from

haiku (fading light)

haiku 3-5-3

10 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This haiku, Fading Light, with its eleven syllables, seems to cross that 'people' line with the comparison of the dimming light to a human condition. Of course, I guess animals are nature; they have eyes. So, beyond that, this is a sad poem of continued loss that may end in night. I have cataracts forming and they are a nuisance. Nice poem.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018

Comment from krys123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cheers, Michael;
-no one can superimpose fonts as well as you do, inside of a picture, with such perfection.
-You got my vote on this one my friend is this is a really excellent haiku I am just sorry to the fact that I have us anymore sixes in my coffer.
-Take care and have a good one, Michael, especially with those that love you dearly.
Alex

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2018

Comment from fayesh
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Some great imagery here, but the second line seems not to fit with the metaphor "fading light/cataracts, which, for me indicate loss of vision. How does the "from setting sun chills" extend the metaphor?

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
    Since the ability to SEE the sunset is severely hampered by cataracts, other senses are heightened. Thus, the fact that the sun is setting is realized by the drop in temperature. The beauty of the sunset can't be seen, it can only be sensed and felt.
reply by fayesh on 06-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the explanation. I have changed your rating.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
    Oh, how very kind of you. Not necessary, but that is most appreciated. I'm pleased that you offered such a thoughtful review and took the time to inquire. We all are delighted when someone reads our work and takes it seriously. Thanks so much. :))
reply by fayesh on 06-Feb-2018
    You're welcome. :)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
    That's odd. I could've sworn you changed the rating on this. Did you change it back? Just curious, water under the bridge. LOL
reply by fayesh on 19-Feb-2018
    I did indeed change your rating to 5 stars. I went back now and changed it a second time to 5 stars. Don't know what happened.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2018
    I was sure you did. Just weirdness from the system I'm guessing. Oh well, no big deal. Just strangeness. LOL Didn't mean to bother. :)) Thanks though. mike
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent description of cataracts. I don't have cataracts, but I read this to a friend who does. He said someone understands what I'm dealing with.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

Comment from Teri7
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very well written haiku you have penned for the prompt about the sunset. You used very good descriptive words and great imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent entry in this sunset poetry haiku contest. The stories line's superb, and fits an ambiguity to the overall theme of the work, well done, great job, good luck, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

Comment from James H. Oldfield
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very good, with, I have to say, a somewhat unexpected twist, at the end :)

There's not really anything I can suggest here, really well done. Best of luck in the contest.

Take care.

-James

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very different view of a sunset here in your poem, there's a sadness to your few words that leaves the reader mournful and regretful, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I admired your embedding your evocative haiku in the striking artwork. I did not expect the satori. I hope you were not inspired by personal experience. Best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2018

Comment from Sharon Meda
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think this is a good entry for the Sunset haiku.
You have a good message in your few well chosen words.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2018