A Lion in the Hallway
A recollection of a visit by an uncle and aunt42 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
Lucky that your aunt and uncle found each other and could sleep through each other's snoring. What a frightening sound that must have been to spur you into action, moving furniture and crawling out windows. I bet you still laugh about this experience when you and your sister share the memory.
Good luck in the contest with your scary/humorous story.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
  |
Lucky that your aunt and uncle found each other and could sleep through each other's snoring. What a frightening sound that must have been to spur you into action, moving furniture and crawling out windows. I bet you still laugh about this experience when you and your sister share the memory.
Good luck in the contest with your scary/humorous story.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Yes, it is a favorite. Thank you for your comments and shiny stars.
Comment from Janilou
Hahahahahahahahaha. That is just too funny. Snoring!! You really had me wondering what on earth it could be. That is adorable. I really enjoyed the entire piece. I didn't see anything in need of edit or corrections.
All the very best. I hope you succeed in having it published.
Jan
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
Hahahahahahahahaha. That is just too funny. Snoring!! You really had me wondering what on earth it could be. That is adorable. I really enjoyed the entire piece. I didn't see anything in need of edit or corrections.
All the very best. I hope you succeed in having it published.
Jan
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you very much for your comments and stars.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
There's a very funny twist at the end of your story for those brave enough to get passed the lion. Your description of the living conditions brought back memories of my youth. We had running water and electricity, but some of our neighbors did not.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
There's a very funny twist at the end of your story for those brave enough to get passed the lion. Your description of the living conditions brought back memories of my youth. We had running water and electricity, but some of our neighbors did not.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for your kind words and stars. They are appreciated.
Comment from humpwhistle
A fine story, Henry, though I figured out the snoring pretty early. Didn't hurt the story a bit. I particularly enjoyed the opening descriptive paragraphs. They set the beautifully.
Best of luck with The Committee--and with Chrysalis.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
A fine story, Henry, though I figured out the snoring pretty early. Didn't hurt the story a bit. I particularly enjoyed the opening descriptive paragraphs. They set the beautifully.
Best of luck with The Committee--and with Chrysalis.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you very much. I appreciate your complements and stars. Chrysalis notified me some of my poems were selected, but no word on the stories as of yet.
-
Congratulations! Good news. L
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
haha my grandmother sounded like a train when she snored. I enjoyed your story. I could envision young kids thinking just as you wrote & acting like them, too. Best wishes in your publishing endeavors. Jan
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
haha my grandmother sounded like a train when she snored. I enjoyed your story. I could envision young kids thinking just as you wrote & acting like them, too. Best wishes in your publishing endeavors. Jan
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you very much Jan.
Comment from jdrhye
Cute story. It is a quick and entertaining story. The descriptive writing adds to the picture of surroundings and self sustaining livelihood. The era is depicted well. Enjoyed the read nice job.
J
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
|
Cute story. It is a quick and entertaining story. The descriptive writing adds to the picture of surroundings and self sustaining livelihood. The era is depicted well. Enjoyed the read nice job.
J
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you very much J.
Comment from Beck Fenton
I don't give 6 stars easily, but you won the extra star because you made me chuckle. The story flows very well and I didn't guess the reason for the noise. I thought someone might be pulling a prank, but this was priceless! I enjoyed reading this very much. No nit-picking from me.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
 |
I don't give 6 stars easily, but you won the extra star because you made me chuckle. The story flows very well and I didn't guess the reason for the noise. I thought someone might be pulling a prank, but this was priceless! I enjoyed reading this very much. No nit-picking from me.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
-
Thank you very much. Your comments humble me on this my first venture out of a parochial environment. This wide world into which I have entered has shown me there are a lot of bigger fish in this pond. I better learn how to swim faster than they, if I'm going to be successful. Your words and stars encourage me. Thank you.
Comment from Spitfire
Snoring in tandem. That would sound like a lion to a child. Excellent build-up and pacing. Plenty of details to picture the kind of life your aunt and uncle live. Nice bit about the Sears Roebuck catalog.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
|
Snoring in tandem. That would sound like a lion to a child. Excellent build-up and pacing. Plenty of details to picture the kind of life your aunt and uncle live. Nice bit about the Sears Roebuck catalog.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for your comments and stars. The final details will include all the guilty parties names for my descendants. I have great-grandchildren living not far from where the farm was located. It's asphalted over.
Comment from Terry Arnold
Too long with detail that does not contribute to the lion's roar. Stuff like your uncle's garden, home made clothes and stained teeth. Shorten it and it could find print in one of the Readers Digest sections.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
 |
Too long with detail that does not contribute to the lion's roar. Stuff like your uncle's garden, home made clothes and stained teeth. Shorten it and it could find print in one of the Readers Digest sections.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for your comments and consideration Terry. I am glad to see your view point.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
That had to be some racket. My hubby was really good at snoring. It never kept me up though. I was thankful he was there by my side. LOL On camping trips he would scare the bears away. LOL This was a hoot. Very enjoyable story. xxx Nancy
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
|
That had to be some racket. My hubby was really good at snoring. It never kept me up though. I was thankful he was there by my side. LOL On camping trips he would scare the bears away. LOL This was a hoot. Very enjoyable story. xxx Nancy
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2018
-
Thank you very much Nancy. I appreciate your comments.
