Reviews from

Our Tapestry

Free Verse

10 total reviews 
Comment from Ideasaregems-Dawn
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I think this is a most elegant use of metaphor, the loom being a perfect example of marriage, IMO, working together to build a future. You begin your free verse with a lovely phrase too - "I watch with my heart..." I also love, "Silken threads in our cloth..." - so expressive, and not as obtuse as so many metaphors can be - very nicely done! (A "silken" poem. :))

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thank you so much for the comments and review. I like your comment ?a silken poem?. A lovely thought. Thank you for the comment.
reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 02-Feb-2018
    You're very welcome. It was a pleasure.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Excellent
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This is an excellent contest entry. Although, I find it to be more like extended prose, you certainly have lots of great imagery and emotion. Well done!

Good luck.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks so much for the good review.
reply by Writingfundimension on 02-Feb-2018
    You're very welcome.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Excellent
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Very cool poem flows well and creates a strong mental image and mood. Excellent choice of artwork and you do a great job incorporating the imagery of weaving into to the poem.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thank you for your great review and comments.
reply by kathleenspalding on 02-Feb-2018
    You're welcome
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Excellent
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This is a beautiful poem. I love it, and I think it will fare very well in the contest, mystery writer. Comparing the couple's relationship to a tapestry is clever, and you did it justice. I love it all, but my favorite line is "I hear your step at the gate. All longing flees".

A lovely poem! A pleasure to read. Good luck in the contest with this great entry! ~~ Connie

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
    Thank you very much for the great review.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
    Thank you very much for the great review.
Comment from TPAC
Excellent
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Sweet conveyances, touching words I found interesting, they brought memories of my grandmother and me sewing, but I have worked around but not on looms.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the good review and comments.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the good review and comments.
Comment from Mustangpatty1029
Excellent
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Hi there;
Thank you for sharing your poem about how lovers weave their own tapestry. I found this free verse to flow well and tell a tale within the lines.

Good luck in the contest,

~patty~

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
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I like this. The longing, the desire. When love has come to you, then, nothing else really matters. There is nothing like it. Thank you for sharing this. Well done.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Excellent
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I like the romantic and old-fashioned feel to your free verse love poem, assisted by a well-chosen picture. The metaphor of tapestry and loom is also interesting.

You are consistent in the impassioned address to a loved one and the missing back-story (why have they parted?) is not important to the outcome here.

There are a couple of points which you might consider...
'angst' seems to me to be quite a modern word, st least in English, so it jars a little with the rest of the language.

I'm also guessing you have never used a loom 'the loom shuttles slowly forwards' sounds wrong to me. Shuttles are used in tapestry weaving but here you've used it as a verb and given it as an action to the loom...

In any case, a lovely, romantic piece.

Good luck.

Steve

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I really appreciate it.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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This is a passionate write about lovers needing each other, after all they are newly weds! A great tribute to your love, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your time and good review.
Comment from Sharon Meda
Excellent
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I think this is a good entry for the 'Free Verse Poetry' writing prompt.
Well said in your lovely verse.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review.