Comment from Dumbledor

Excellent

Very well done verse as an entry to the Statement- Question contest. Lots of nice imagery too '' if moon and sun would cease to shine'' ''I dream of earth not clothed in hate'' Nicely done verse.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks, for this great review and comments,

Comment from doggymad

Exceptional

An excellent write and a perfect entry for this contest.

I love the images you have used which are so vivid. It seems to me that evil doesn't need that much darkness these days.

Those with faith will hopefully triumph

hugs

Freda

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks Freda, for this marvellous review and super comments, and incredible stars

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Beautiful thoughts and sentiments, wonderfully expressed. The good news which comes from the creator of both heaven and the earth. The earth will be saved and cleansed of all the negative things which make life so hard to bear. The only meaningful question for us is will we be here to enjoy it, or will we be replaced by someone lucky enough to be alive when that deliverance finally comes?

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks, for this great review and comments,

Comment from Abby Wilson-hand

Exceptional

THIS IS BEAUTIFLY WRITTEN
IT REMINDS ME OF A
FRIEND BARBS WRITING
GOOD LUCK TO YOU IN THE CONTEST

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks Abby, for this great review and comments, yes, similar

Comment from evesayshi

Excellent

In my opinion, a wonderful testimony to the hope in us all - the wonder we feel and the wish for a brighter future, one we would live to see and enjoy - fluid in rhyme and rhythm and perfect in its compliance with the prompt. It clearly states a question we would all like answered, now! Best of luck in the contest...

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks Eve, for this great review and comments,

reply by evesayshi on 29-Jan-2018

You are very welcome indeed...Eve

Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

Good statement-Question contest entry! I wish you luck in the competition. The first line is the best. I think there are a lot of people who wonder this same thing.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks, for this great review and comments,

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hello Mystery Poet. I think your writing and your question are something that we would all like to know. Can things really change? I wonder sometimes. Good luck in your contest. Great entry! xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks Deborah for this great review and comments,

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Second review

:-))))



First review (Four stars)

Very noble subject and theme, delivered with clarity and fine rhyming. Nice presentation too. however, there are some spots causing awkwardness in flow. This could be fine tuned to optimize the delivery.

I found it distracting that, after comma, you also used ellipses in the front of the line here:


If moon and sun would cease to shine,
...on endless night would evil dine?

Suggest alternatives for a pause there:

If moon and sun would cease to shine...
on endless night would evil dine?


Or

If moon and sun would cease to shine,
on endless night would evil dine?

*
I ponder how the world will end,(;)
will rescue come? Can we depend

*suggest parenthesis for ease of read in this line:

on someone who (in whom)hope sings --
perhaps with healing in His wings?


Nice closing question. I say: yes!

Happy to revisit if you decide to revise. :)
Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

I will revise RD, but I thought you said there weren't any real rules in poetic expression... just kidding. Yes, your gracious help is appreciated, it was a spur of the moment, it is a bit sloppy.

reply by rama devi on 29-Jan-2018

It's true that rules can bend in poetic composition. But that does not necessarily mean the choices to bend the rules serve the poem well. If, as a reader, I find them to either distract (like being jarring to the flow) or confuse, then I may dock a star for such choices. thanks for letting me know you revised. Will revisit shortly.

Warmly, rd

reply by rama devi on 29-Jan-2018

PS = looks about the same. Do let me know when to revisit. :)

reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

I done it dear RD

reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

I appreciate you really, RD, I don't ask for concessions dear girl, I don't take myself that seriously.

reply by rama devi on 29-Jan-2018

:-))) Thanks for your kind words. :)

reply by rama devi on 29-Jan-2018

PS I agree - it's wise not to take oneself too seriously!

reply by rama devi on 29-Jan-2018

Upgraded! :-)

reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks RD

reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks, you're a peach RD.

Comment from Boogienights

Excellent

I loved this and I think it's something we all ponder, especially in the nuclear age. I hope that clearer heads prevail and our world will continue on. I like the image included with this very well written and thought provoking poem. I will look for the contest to begin, thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

Thanks, for this great review and comments,

Comment from rockinm76233

Excellent

In whom hope sings-- perhaps with healing in His wings. That's our hope isn't it?
Without such hope this life would be far to hard to bear. Enjoyed your poem very much.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018

It is indeed dear friend, thanks for your kind response and review,