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Navy Seal to Daughter11 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your dialogue only contest entry. I am a little surprised Dad wouldn't have more to say, even though he supported his son/daughter. I know I would have. Good luck with the contest.
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I enjoyed reading your dialogue only contest entry. I am a little surprised Dad wouldn't have more to say, even though he supported his son/daughter. I know I would have. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2018
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was an amazing story, Thesis, there are many children growing up confused because of this condition. It must be so hard for them. You wrote this beautifully and the photo you've put at the top suits the story well. Excellent! Good luck in the contest. Sandra xx
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That was an amazing story, Thesis, there are many children growing up confused because of this condition. It must be so hard for them. You wrote this beautifully and the photo you've put at the top suits the story well. Excellent! Good luck in the contest. Sandra xx
Comment Written 11-Jan-2018
Comment from Dan Diego
This is the most poignant of the dialogue-only entries I've read over the last couple of days. It is a modern topic with a lot of emotion. I'm glad you tackled it. The story parts are all there: beginning, middle, and a satisfying end. The grammar is in check. The spelling is fine. I do have a few editorial suggestions:
You wrote: "... but Jimmy fine ..."
I suggest: "... but Jimmy is fine ..."
You wrote: "... my own heart Jane."
I suggest: "... my own heart, Jane."
Nice job. I hope this gets the attention it deserves. Good luck with the judges.
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This is the most poignant of the dialogue-only entries I've read over the last couple of days. It is a modern topic with a lot of emotion. I'm glad you tackled it. The story parts are all there: beginning, middle, and a satisfying end. The grammar is in check. The spelling is fine. I do have a few editorial suggestions:
You wrote: "... but Jimmy fine ..."
I suggest: "... but Jimmy is fine ..."
You wrote: "... my own heart Jane."
I suggest: "... my own heart, Jane."
Nice job. I hope this gets the attention it deserves. Good luck with the judges.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2018
Comment from c_lucas
In the end, transvestites will be accepted. The country is moving toward the change. I have no desire to welcome them to my community, but I know it will happen. Good luck in your contest.
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In the end, transvestites will be accepted. The country is moving toward the change. I have no desire to welcome them to my community, but I know it will happen. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2018
Comment from barkingdog
This is a fine adaptation of a true story. Your dialogue runs smoothly and gives the reader a view of the shocked father and hopeful son. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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This is a fine adaptation of a true story. Your dialogue runs smoothly and gives the reader a view of the shocked father and hopeful son. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Sis Cat
This is an admirable piece, Thesis, about a veteran who transitioned and feared rejection by Dad:
"I didn't want to come over until I had transitioned almost to the point of no return."
After some shock, Dad accepts Jane:
All I know is that I've always loved you, I will always support you, and you could never disappoint me, no matter what you did. If this is what you want, I will support your decision, unconditionally.
This is an affirming message of acceptance.
Because I have heard and seen transgendered people telling their own stories firsthand instead of secondhand, I find your dialogue unbelievable. No one who had underwent gender reassignment surgery would allow being called by the old name or gender. There would be no, "Dad, you can call me anything you want."
I cringed whenever Dad used the word "son" and Jane did not challenge it.
Although you are open minded and generous, you did not go far enough. I read many posts on FanStory about transgender people but they are not written by transgender people, neither does the writer have a direct experience. Many of these posts miss the mark because they smack of sensationalism like a Chester Himes' crime novel. Other post are trying to be different and unique but even these miss the mark. The transgender people who talk to me at poetry and storytelling events do not like their lives being exploited by others. Even if I had a great imagination and sympathy for those who are transgender, I would prefer they speak for themselves. I poet I recommend is Diane Goetsch who one The Rattle Poetry Chapbook Contest and write about transgender experiences firsthand.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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This is an admirable piece, Thesis, about a veteran who transitioned and feared rejection by Dad:
"I didn't want to come over until I had transitioned almost to the point of no return."
After some shock, Dad accepts Jane:
All I know is that I've always loved you, I will always support you, and you could never disappoint me, no matter what you did. If this is what you want, I will support your decision, unconditionally.
This is an affirming message of acceptance.
Because I have heard and seen transgendered people telling their own stories firsthand instead of secondhand, I find your dialogue unbelievable. No one who had underwent gender reassignment surgery would allow being called by the old name or gender. There would be no, "Dad, you can call me anything you want."
I cringed whenever Dad used the word "son" and Jane did not challenge it.
Although you are open minded and generous, you did not go far enough. I read many posts on FanStory about transgender people but they are not written by transgender people, neither does the writer have a direct experience. Many of these posts miss the mark because they smack of sensationalism like a Chester Himes' crime novel. Other post are trying to be different and unique but even these miss the mark. The transgender people who talk to me at poetry and storytelling events do not like their lives being exploited by others. Even if I had a great imagination and sympathy for those who are transgender, I would prefer they speak for themselves. I poet I recommend is Diane Goetsch who one The Rattle Poetry Chapbook Contest and write about transgender experiences firsthand.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Andre, thank you for your informed response. I too have transgender friends, fellow veterans, and while they tell me they speak with friends and others about the realities of their acceptance from outsiders, they all say that if they can get any acceptance from their own family, they feel they have succeeded because of their former relationship and status with their family. I did not classify this as non fiction, but it really was a non fiction story that I relayed through a friend.
You are spot on with your comments. My personal experience with this veteran is also true, and I am very happy for him that he was able to make peace with himself and his Dad.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'Dialogue Only' writing prompt.
Well written with a clear story line.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'Dialogue Only' writing prompt.
Well written with a clear story line.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Sharon.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Well said, well done, an interesting read, dad is proud of her daughter, a navy seal to daughter is appreciable; no gender discrimination to dad; thank you for sharing this with us; wish you good luck for the dialogue only writing contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Well said, well done, an interesting read, dad is proud of her daughter, a navy seal to daughter is appreciable; no gender discrimination to dad; thank you for sharing this with us; wish you good luck for the dialogue only writing contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thank you.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hey T. This is an exceptionally sensitive and well written dialogue. I think if it was real the son would have been so relieved that he wasn't abandoned by something he couldn't help. Great work here. Loved the voice you gave your characters! xoxo deborah
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Hey T. This is an exceptionally sensitive and well written dialogue. I think if it was real the son would have been so relieved that he wasn't abandoned by something he couldn't help. Great work here. Loved the voice you gave your characters! xoxo deborah
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Hi Deborah, Thank you so much for reading this. In reality, this guy was a friend of mine. He/She, still is. A very loyal friend, who I trust with my life. He was so scared to meet with his Dad, whom he feared would shun him for transforming into a woman, but so relieved he wa accepted. I told him it was only because he brought good Scotch with him. LOL. Yet, we're still friends.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
This can be a hard thing for someone to do. I think with everything going on it's getting easier but it's still hard. I remember my sisters husband when my nephews were born. He said he'd support anything my nephews did whether it was football or ballet. He said he'd be there to watch them. He said he'd rather football over ballet but if it's what they wanted he'd be there. My nephews don't do ballet but they do get their nails painted. My one nephew loves it. You can take him into a salon for his birthday and call it his present and he's set. They are 8 and 5 so we'll see but they will hopefully be great adults one day. I'm glad this father handled it like he did. I think the surprise is normal, the drink is normal, but his reaction was perfect.
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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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This can be a hard thing for someone to do. I think with everything going on it's getting easier but it's still hard. I remember my sisters husband when my nephews were born. He said he'd support anything my nephews did whether it was football or ballet. He said he'd be there to watch them. He said he'd rather football over ballet but if it's what they wanted he'd be there. My nephews don't do ballet but they do get their nails painted. My one nephew loves it. You can take him into a salon for his birthday and call it his present and he's set. They are 8 and 5 so we'll see but they will hopefully be great adults one day. I'm glad this father handled it like he did. I think the surprise is normal, the drink is normal, but his reaction was perfect.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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You know, it's about love. Whatever your children become, you have to support and love them. They need it.
Thanks for your insight.
