Amy
She shouldn't have...18 total reviews
Comment from Sis Cat
Yes, Amy shouldn't have, but I am glad you wrote this fictional story about a guilt-wracked woman who had an affair, surprising herself:
A year earlier, if somebody had told me I was going to be unfaithful, I would have thought they were mad, but now I was ready to take the plunge.
She speaks of the thrill of the forbidden: It was exciting because it was forbidden.
But guilt dampens this thrill:
'Of course,' I answered, grinning. It was a grin that hurt.
A shocking moment was her reaction when her husband did not confront her: Oh my God, how much I hated him just then! I wanted him to confront me, to shout at me. But he didn't.
After the woman told her husband about the affair, the couple went through some hard times until "I got a new chance, a new beginning." You conclude:
They say marriages can't survive an affair, but we have proved them wrong.
This flash fiction may resonate with those who have been in similar circumstances.
Thank you for sharing your story.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Yes, Amy shouldn't have, but I am glad you wrote this fictional story about a guilt-wracked woman who had an affair, surprising herself:
A year earlier, if somebody had told me I was going to be unfaithful, I would have thought they were mad, but now I was ready to take the plunge.
She speaks of the thrill of the forbidden: It was exciting because it was forbidden.
But guilt dampens this thrill:
'Of course,' I answered, grinning. It was a grin that hurt.
A shocking moment was her reaction when her husband did not confront her: Oh my God, how much I hated him just then! I wanted him to confront me, to shout at me. But he didn't.
After the woman told her husband about the affair, the couple went through some hard times until "I got a new chance, a new beginning." You conclude:
They say marriages can't survive an affair, but we have proved them wrong.
This flash fiction may resonate with those who have been in similar circumstances.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your thorough review. Have a lovely day.
Comment from dracofelsinensis
From a technical point of view, this was very good: your story got my interest from the start, it moved along well with great economy of words, the dialogue was believable and the situation described is almost archetypal in its realism.
My objection is Amy's inconsistency. Perhaps this is a male perspective, one that might be useful.
For example, "Oh my God, how much I hated him just then! I wanted him to confront me, to shout at me. But he didn't." Amy's reaction is realistic and I have come across such words - so well done for that, it rings true.
However, it is illogical: Ron can't know what happened, he trusts her and Amy had the "cover" of the Xmas party anyway. And, if he got angry, would that make him an abusive husband? He gave her space, not being possessive or checking up on her, and was rewarded with one-off infidelity. Not so serious, if she resolved not to repeat it; but then she told him, which was a risky strategy and caused him pain. What was he to do?
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
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From a technical point of view, this was very good: your story got my interest from the start, it moved along well with great economy of words, the dialogue was believable and the situation described is almost archetypal in its realism.
My objection is Amy's inconsistency. Perhaps this is a male perspective, one that might be useful.
For example, "Oh my God, how much I hated him just then! I wanted him to confront me, to shout at me. But he didn't." Amy's reaction is realistic and I have come across such words - so well done for that, it rings true.
However, it is illogical: Ron can't know what happened, he trusts her and Amy had the "cover" of the Xmas party anyway. And, if he got angry, would that make him an abusive husband? He gave her space, not being possessive or checking up on her, and was rewarded with one-off infidelity. Not so serious, if she resolved not to repeat it; but then she told him, which was a risky strategy and caused him pain. What was he to do?
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
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So what you mean if that she shouldn't have told him? You're probably right.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Bucketlist
Well unfortunately I could have been looking in a mirror for this situation. Your prose touched an emotional wound which, for me, never really healed. My consequences lasted WAY too long. Your posts have a certain personal theme of sadness for something, a longing on which many authors base their romance novels. It was a good write.
Hugs,
Trisha
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Well unfortunately I could have been looking in a mirror for this situation. Your prose touched an emotional wound which, for me, never really healed. My consequences lasted WAY too long. Your posts have a certain personal theme of sadness for something, a longing on which many authors base their romance novels. It was a good write.
Hugs,
Trisha
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I'm glad you liked it, but sorry if it made you sad.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sounds like you learned a lesson, and your husband learned to appreciate you. In this case, jealousy was just what the marriage needed. :)
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Sounds like you learned a lesson, and your husband learned to appreciate you. In this case, jealousy was just what the marriage needed. :)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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You know this is fiction, don't you?
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
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Oh, yes, I know it's fiction. I just saw everything thru the eyes of the characters. Must mean you write so well it's realistic.
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Thanks! :)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I believe in second chances always because sometimes it cleans the air and puts things in a new perspective. This is very well done and great ending
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I believe in second chances always because sometimes it cleans the air and puts things in a new perspective. This is very well done and great ending
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, Barb. Thanks for reading.
Comment from royowen
It would be tough to survive that sort of adulterous barrage, but Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery, the secret is is always, a repentant heart, like King David had, God called him "a man after His own heart" a murderer, a bad dad, and an adulterer, and yet God had a high regard for him. Well done Maria, excellent story with a moral. Goes to show, run from temptation, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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It would be tough to survive that sort of adulterous barrage, but Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery, the secret is is always, a repentant heart, like King David had, God called him "a man after His own heart" a murderer, a bad dad, and an adulterer, and yet God had a high regard for him. Well done Maria, excellent story with a moral. Goes to show, run from temptation, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Roy. Have a lovely day.
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You too Maria.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Maria;
Unfortunately, this is an all-too-familiar story. I watched several of my friends go through things like this. And then, my sister-in-law, and then the couple we considered our best friends.
So sad. The actual affair is rarely worth the damage - but no one can tell the person that when delightful urges and feelings have been ignited.
You presented this in a very concise manner. The writing was clear and concise. I didn't see any nits or SPAG,
~patty~
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Hi, Maria;
Unfortunately, this is an all-too-familiar story. I watched several of my friends go through things like this. And then, my sister-in-law, and then the couple we considered our best friends.
So sad. The actual affair is rarely worth the damage - but no one can tell the person that when delightful urges and feelings have been ignited.
You presented this in a very concise manner. The writing was clear and concise. I didn't see any nits or SPAG,
~patty~
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Patty. I agree with what you say in your review: but no one can tell the person that when delightful urges and feelings have been ignited.
Comment from giraffmang
Well-written piece here, MJ.
Mind you, I'd have chucked her out the house. No question about it. Do it once... do it again.
on the cheek absent-mindedly - absentmindedly can be one word.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Well-written piece here, MJ.
Mind you, I'd have chucked her out the house. No question about it. Do it once... do it again.
on the cheek absent-mindedly - absentmindedly can be one word.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Gareth and for creating the event. I enjoyed writing this story.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Maria: This is another well written piece written by you. It is an honest situation so it is something that will be written about and you do this well. I always have to check to see if your posts are fiction or non-fiction. This speaks to how well you write.
I don't condone affairs or cheating but I always support your work so I will give this a review based on your wonderful work and creativity.
I do know how this is and feels though because I am not perfect and so in my past I have done stupid things.
A great marriage can survive an affair but I am so happy that I don't have to worry about this with this husband. I have had the cheating husband and this is an awful reality. I can't deal with that kind of dishonesty and broken trust so I have divorced the cheaters. I have found true love and true trust though finally and I am so grateful. He is my Prince!
This is another great write, Maria. You are an excellent and exceptional writer.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Good morning, Maria: This is another well written piece written by you. It is an honest situation so it is something that will be written about and you do this well. I always have to check to see if your posts are fiction or non-fiction. This speaks to how well you write.
I don't condone affairs or cheating but I always support your work so I will give this a review based on your wonderful work and creativity.
I do know how this is and feels though because I am not perfect and so in my past I have done stupid things.
A great marriage can survive an affair but I am so happy that I don't have to worry about this with this husband. I have had the cheating husband and this is an awful reality. I can't deal with that kind of dishonesty and broken trust so I have divorced the cheaters. I have found true love and true trust though finally and I am so grateful. He is my Prince!
This is another great write, Maria. You are an excellent and exceptional writer.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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You are very kind, Tier.
I'm glad you have found a good man. My husband is also one of the good ones and I trust him implicitly. We are really lucky, love is very important in life.
Thanks for reading.
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Yes, it surely is, love is so necessary and important. I totally agree.
Comment from Dean Kuch
"'Okay then,' he said kissing me on the cheek absent-mindedly. Sometimes I wished he showed some jealousy, some possessiveness, but he didn't have it in him." ... I'm with Ron on this point. It doesn't matter how jealous you get, if your woman's going to cheat, your woman's going to cheat.
Plain and simple.
There's no amount of green-eyed goofiness that will change that. Ever.
It is merely wasted energy that could best be used elsewhere.
And there we have it--a happy ending.
My roommate and I always say this when one spouse has an affair on the other in books or in films, yet everything still manages to work out okay in the end.
"Only in the movies."
The writing of this was very good, Maria. The dialogue was believable, your characters well-defined.
The "all's well that ends well" ending was good too, and it's the type of ending most people like to read.
But I'm here to tell ya', it sometimes doesn't work out that way at all.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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"'Okay then,' he said kissing me on the cheek absent-mindedly. Sometimes I wished he showed some jealousy, some possessiveness, but he didn't have it in him." ... I'm with Ron on this point. It doesn't matter how jealous you get, if your woman's going to cheat, your woman's going to cheat.
Plain and simple.
There's no amount of green-eyed goofiness that will change that. Ever.
It is merely wasted energy that could best be used elsewhere.
And there we have it--a happy ending.
My roommate and I always say this when one spouse has an affair on the other in books or in films, yet everything still manages to work out okay in the end.
"Only in the movies."
The writing of this was very good, Maria. The dialogue was believable, your characters well-defined.
The "all's well that ends well" ending was good too, and it's the type of ending most people like to read.
But I'm here to tell ya', it sometimes doesn't work out that way at all.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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I know, Dean. But I didn't feel like a sad ending today...
Thanks for your thorough review.
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The ending is just fine.
The review was my pleasure.
~Dean
