Reviews from

Capturing the abyss

A photographer heads up into the mountains

12 total reviews 
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

" It wasn't that Harry was a bad person, or wasn't exciting enough. It was more a feeling that he wasn't worthy of this man's love, and so he had made himself unworthy by sinking into an abyss of alcohol abuse, petty tantrums and random sex." ... Singer/song writer and performer Glen Campbell once wrote a song about this emotional rebound rollercoaster. You may or may not have heard of it, Oliver. The song's title: 'Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.'

"A single branch stuck out over the cliff-edge and as he rolled past, his pack slipped over it, leaving him suspended, his legs dangling into the abyss." ... Talk about your cliff-hanger-type endings, heh-heh!
Nice writing, Oliver.
No drips, no runs, no errors.
 photo coollogo_com-269865638_zpsouy4xs26.gif

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback! It has been fine tuned by fanstory friends but thanks so much!
reply by Dean Kuch on 05-Jan-2018
    My pleasure as always, Oliver.
    Have a grrrrrrrreat weekend.
    ~Dean :)
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

When ya hit the wilderness, concentrate on what yer doin'. Then the wild forest is safe as a small warm room, unlike the jungle of the city. Looking for part two.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback!
Comment from pbomar1115
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

After being pestered while on a job photography assignment, Tony magnetism entices an eagle to descend from the sky down shoving him to a cliff-edge, dangling into the abyss. Poor, Tony.

Phillip

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback!
reply by pbomar1115 on 04-Jan-2018
    You're welcome.

    Phillip
Comment from Sharon Meda
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a clear story, well written.
Your good descriptions bring the scenery to life.
The picture you have chosen to post with your story is beautiful and a good match.
Well done.
A small suggestion: 'Every thing fitted nicely' - 'fit nicely'
Sharon

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback! I really appreciate it!
Comment from rtobaygo
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning, Oliver

Enjoyed the read. Out of sixes Your attention to detail, the various images of the terrain and your characters was spot on. One easily identified with Tony's personality. I found the flow good save for one sentence where I had to pause halfway through the sentence :

Everything fitted nicely into his own pack, but only when it was folded and (carefully placed, and it was ten minutes before) he was ready to follow the others up the steep path that corkscrewed round the mountain above him

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback, I?ll have a look again at the section you suggested. Thanks again!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well done, there is a good catch in the beginning of the story and the plot is well spread to the theme, dialogues are realistic and the ending is curious. DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thanks a lot
Comment from zekeziemann
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, you got me hooked and I am not easily drawn in. Keep it going and good luck to good old Tony. Well done and Happy New Year

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback! I?m glad I managed to hook you in!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very exciting! I hope they can rescue him. I would hate to have him die hanging there. I'll trust you to give me a happy ending. If not, then please warn me. :)

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi.well be warned then the second part isn?t happy. Thanks for the great feedback
Comment from Mustangpatty1029
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there;
Some great prose here. I enjoyed your similies, and your use of descriptive passages to give us an insight into the photographer's mind. I look forward to reading the next part,

~patty~

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback I really appreciate it
Comment from humpwhistle
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Talk about your cliff-hanger, eh?
Love your use of verbs here. They're mostly active and additive.


I don't know how long this piece will be. If you have some leisure space,
the paragraph about Harry might be expanded a little to afford a bit more 'showing'. But that's a minor point at this juncture.

Looking forward to more.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback and the very generous 6 stars, much appreciated! I?ll add the next part tomorrow