Reviews from

Time Is Nigh

A Picture this challenge

20 total reviews 
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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A perfect poem for the picture! I do agree that there are such tragedies that we have no answer for and have to trust God for those things. But we all have to take responsibility for the life we have been given.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi lyenochka. yes one must always be responsible for decisions made and it will always remain a mystery as to what happens to us in our life or why some peoples lives are fraught with tragedy, and others blessed every step. Thanks for you wonderful support Cheers for a greatt day Christine
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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I think this is a good submission for the Pix This Challenge Group.
Your poem really speaks of life and our path till death.
Well done and thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi Sharon Thanks so much for your review and I am so far behind in catching up with the others I shall devote some time now to do so Many Cheers Christine
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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Christine what fine thoughts you've written while considering this most unusual collection of clock faces. We do need those little time pieces to make sure we get to our funeral on time, yes? lol. I'm most encouraged to learn Father Time will not be competing with me, because I have enough on my hands with Mother Earth.

Excellent, fun write keeping on track for the rankings. It's always so much fun to see how it shakes out. Least I think it is. Reeeeeee.

Thank you for sharing.

Gloria

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi Gloria, Ha ha yes Mother Earth has much to contend with so I hope father Time is not watching too closely as I have much more to do and much more to write LOL.. Many Cheers for your review (More to come, one advantage to a relaxing holiday I could get the brain cells into action I hope Ha ha) Christine
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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I've never understood why God allows children to get cancer, Christine, or why those who do people wrong--like our current President, for example--always seem to prosper.
It's a mystery to me.
Yet another well-penned poem from your talented pen...or computer keyboard as it were.
Bravo!
~Dean

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi Dean. To be honest I don't think God has anything to do with it. Time marches on throughout all eternity and events, diseases and everything happens often unexplained I guess we will never know. I have enjoyed my time away relaxing and have some material now to start the New Year. Hopefully I don't run out of steam too early.. Cheers for your time and comments. Christine
reply by Dean Kuch on 03-Jan-2018
    Sure thing, Christine.
    Anytime.
    ~Dean
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written poem and a great interpretation of the 'picture this' challenge.. We all look different on the outside and we live dufferent luves but we all have the same mechanism that makes us tick.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi Sandra, I thought I would try and do this one as I have had time (No pun intended) but a holiday has been good to do nothing but write so I hope I start the New Year well and yes we are all but one big clock Cheers Christine
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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Second review

:-)))))



First review (FOUR stars)


Hi Christine - this is voiced powerfully, with a tone of conviction that is convincing! It's a good teaching poem, and not too preachy in tone, which is not an easy achievement! Well done. Good rhymes and flow, Good smattering of alliteration and other poetic devices. YOu have punctuation in some places and not in others. This does not serve your poem well. It would read better with more precise punctuation, in my opinion (some are inaccurate, too, like having a comma at the end of a sentence - seems to me you may not have proofed this before posting?)

Specific notes:

Favorite lines:

So if your bucket list is incomplete(,)
Remember Father Time does not compete.

A few punctuation suggestions for your consideration:


Two things in life we never can deny(:)
No choice in birth, no choice in when we die.
The hands of time tick steadily away(;)
It's what we do between these two, can say.

For some(,) their time is short or not at all(.)
Born into death, their life is on recall,(.)
Why is this so? a(A) mystery won't find
The heartbreak that they leave is so unkind.

For others(,) who survive(,) the journey starts
From many walks of life and worlds apart.
For some(,) their wealth is always guaranteed
While others struggle poverty in need.

Our choices made are ours and ours alone(;)
No blame to others, good or bad we own,(.)
The wise will use their time to set the pace(;)
The fools(,) who know no better(,) time will waste.

(Note: the word THE in the last line above makes the reverse syntax at the end of the line soudn forced, If you use FOR, it would work better:

The(For) fools(,) who know no better(,) time will waste.

With edits:

For fools, who know no better, time will waste.

We each(,) our time creates our greatest test
To make each moment count and do our best,
So if your bucket list is incomplete(,)
Remember(,) Father Time does not compete.

Our birth, our life, our death for us is set(--)
Each one a different time that must be met,(.)
These clocks upon the wall (, remove space) therefore(,) remind
The countdown for us all has been defined.


Potent closing note!


I enjoyed your rhymes and keen sense of the music of words. The flow would be super if properly punctuated. But the abundance of punctuation oddities in the above make it harder to read and distract the reader to the form instead of the message. The message is great and lucidly delivered. Bravo.

Happy to re-review with a potential upgrade - if you revise at least the 'wrong' punctuation and consider the other suggestions as well. Your poem has great potential and deserves to be polished!


Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi rama devi
    , Thank You so very much for your great review and invaluable help to improve this poem I have made all the changes suggested by you and will refer back to the way you have punctuated for future poems.. I am so grateful for you wise assistance and welcome your help any day.
    The 4 stars were warranted initially and I certainly did not mind receiving them I believe with you help it is now so much better

    Once again Many Thanks Cheers Christine
reply by rama devi on 03-Jan-2018
    Thanks for your super kind and gracious response, dear Christine. I'm glad you found it helpful! I'll make a second review shortly and upgrade the rating. thanks for letting me know you made changes.

    Warm Smiles,
    rd
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi rd No Thank You enjoy your day Cheers Christine
reply by rama devi on 03-Jan-2018
    It's 2 am here - heading to bed! Happy day to you!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Sleep well and may you wake up to a nice surprise Cheers Christine
reply by rama devi on 03-Jan-2018
    That's nice. Thank you, Christine!

    Blessings, rd
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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A very good poem that fits the picture rather well. It was very correct in that we have no say regarding the time of our birth and our death. And I agree that what we do with the time between is our choice. It is surprising that some can use the time wisely while others just waste it away. It is a poem that makes one think, not so much with regrets but with changes. Very well done Christine, thanks.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi Ary. Thanks so much for your time to read and review this one I wrote for this challenge I really enjoy doing these and am glad I have had time to put pen to paper so to speak. No regrets just move forward and enjoy Cheers Christine
reply by aryr on 03-Jan-2018
    You are so welcome, Christine
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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So true Chrissy and I am not going to give it another thought or spend anymore time on it after reading your poem, my map is set out and I will continue on my journey! One thing I will say that I think that your state of mind helps you to live a long life, wealth or poverty are not as important as the peace we feel inside, loving your wise words, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Hi Dolly, Yes it is not always about money but wealth comes in many forms and I am so rich with love from my family and friends better than gold any day. Also good health helps I try to keep fit and healthy but I must admit I do love a nana nap occasionally LOL Cheers dear Dolly for you time and comments Christine
Comment from Heather Knight
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love your poem, Christine. I think it's very intelligent. When I wrote mine yesterday, I was a bit at a loss, I didn't really know what I wanted to say, but it seems you have given this a lot of thought.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Hi Maria, How wonderful of you to give me such a great review I did take my time and thought for this one and enjoyed this challenge But I am so far behind the time with reviews I must spend timectiday to catch up You have made my day Many Cheers Christine
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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Time is one thing we can not control and the life and death is not written for us to realize. Very nicely done and a reminder to 'do our very best'

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    thanks Barb Yes old Father Time is always beside us so we must make the best Thanks for reading and giving me some of your time Cheers Christine