Spider and the Fly
A fable38 total reviews
Comment from CD Richards
I found this a very humorous and intriguing little moral tale. I wonder how many of us incorrectly identify our role?
I'm not quite sure how to interpret "the pregnant twilight" - does the twilight hold the promise of more?
Also:
Or is love like the morning--
a brilliant disguise?
What does morning disguise?
These have me more intrigued than anything.
Very, very nice work.
Craig
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I found this a very humorous and intriguing little moral tale. I wonder how many of us incorrectly identify our role?
I'm not quite sure how to interpret "the pregnant twilight" - does the twilight hold the promise of more?
Also:
Or is love like the morning--
a brilliant disguise?
What does morning disguise?
These have me more intrigued than anything.
Very, very nice work.
Craig
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for your time and kind review.
To answer your question, the phrase 'pregnant twilight' was intended to suggest a sense of promise, anticipation, and maybe foreboding. You weren't the first to be a little confused by it, and it might be something I want to change.
As for the 'brilliant disguise' line, my thinking was to say it might all be an illusion. But this was a definitely a rushed line intended as a placeholder until I came up with something better. You got me!
Comment from Zue65
You deserved six stars for this exceptional poem. I enjoyed reading the message you have explored via the images of a fly and a spider. I like the satiric banter between the spider and the fly and how you were able to use the exchange of conversations to define for the readers your view of love and passion. Truly exceptional. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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You deserved six stars for this exceptional poem. I enjoyed reading the message you have explored via the images of a fly and a spider. I like the satiric banter between the spider and the fly and how you were able to use the exchange of conversations to define for the readers your view of love and passion. Truly exceptional. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I am honored by the six star review. Thank you very much!
Comment from mvbrooks
The first thought that comes to mind to describe this poem is: slick. One feels almost as if riding a twisting slide. Right off, the rides is smooth, quick, evokes smiles, and is over before you realize it.
The rhyme is elegant and the story actually makes you feel sorry for the spider while, perhaps, envying the fly for the thrill of escape. Imagine, a poem where you root for insects.
Very well done. Fun read and also a great model for witty writing.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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The first thought that comes to mind to describe this poem is: slick. One feels almost as if riding a twisting slide. Right off, the rides is smooth, quick, evokes smiles, and is over before you realize it.
The rhyme is elegant and the story actually makes you feel sorry for the spider while, perhaps, envying the fly for the thrill of escape. Imagine, a poem where you root for insects.
Very well done. Fun read and also a great model for witty writing.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I am honored by the six star review. Thank you very much!
Comment from zekeziemann
Well done. Beautifully rhymed and good rhythm in the whole poem. I especially like the question included near the end that try to identify the poet.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Well done. Beautifully rhymed and good rhythm in the whole poem. I especially like the question included near the end that try to identify the poet.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your time and kind review.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This poem places a good question of status, spider or fly, the comparative phases are well worded, fable has a good moral of revelation; I enjoyed the read. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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This poem places a good question of status, spider or fly, the comparative phases are well worded, fable has a good moral of revelation; I enjoyed the read. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your time and kind review.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This posting has nice artwork. It clearly depicts the content of the poem. Well written piece that I enjoyed immensely. Keep up the good work as I look for more from your name.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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This posting has nice artwork. It clearly depicts the content of the poem. Well written piece that I enjoyed immensely. Keep up the good work as I look for more from your name.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your time and kind review.
Comment from Natalie Walker
This is a very well constructed poem. The flow is smooth with a sing-songy rhythm. I like how it starts out telling a simple story, but transforms into a more abstract metaphor.
I didn't notice any errors or typos.
Nice work!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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This is a very well constructed poem. The flow is smooth with a sing-songy rhythm. I like how it starts out telling a simple story, but transforms into a more abstract metaphor.
I didn't notice any errors or typos.
Nice work!
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your time and kind review.
Comment from Sugarray77
Delightful poem. I really enjoyed reading this long, but beautifully written narratIve. Well-written and balanced. The picture is a perfect match for this entry. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Delightful poem. I really enjoyed reading this long, but beautifully written narratIve. Well-written and balanced. The picture is a perfect match for this entry. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your time and kind review.
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Wow, I really loved this poem you've penned, my friend. It was written beautifully, such sweet metaphors. I believe it would fit in the fable category:) The picture is pretty as well. All in all a fantastic presentation. ~Kerry
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Wow, I really loved this poem you've penned, my friend. It was written beautifully, such sweet metaphors. I believe it would fit in the fable category:) The picture is pretty as well. All in all a fantastic presentation. ~Kerry
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you so very much for the six stars. I am honored and delighted that you enjoyed it!
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You're very welcome, I did enjoy it.
Comment from RGstar
You know what?
I read this five times. I saw now that you are one of my fans and I like to read and digest to see if anyway I could find deeper meanings in a work that is deep and meaningful. This is, in many ways. The core meaning can run deep in interpretation, and I always like to see an author work well in delivering a good piece of work, worth reading again in burrowing through to the core.
I think a couple of things I also needed answering as to, firstly, why the capitalization in certain places when should not be. I wanted to see if it was a trend in each stanza or a particular form you are writing. For example;
"Fly calls to the Spider
"You tried and you missed
I'm a little bit better
Than the others you've kissed!"
Then I realized that all your first letters are capitals, something one would see in more rhymed poetry.
I think for me, I would, when writing free verse, still have capitals in their correct places, though not wrong here, as gives a better reading and suits more the eye...even if not using punctuation. Having capitals in rhymed poetry regardless if in right context works well because the rhyme offsets the balance but in free verse can sometimes throw off if words like "Than" begins a sentence or line. For a smoother read in the minds eye and not to detract from a clever piece of writing, I may try this kind of write with the capitals in the right place as with free verse more room to manoeuvre. With or without punctuation. For example;
Fly calls to the spider
"You tried and you missed
I'm a little bit better
than the others you've kissed!"
In response, chides the spider
"Oh, was that you?
My victims are many
my lovers are few"
There you see it gives a smoother passage with no distractions.
I de-capitalized 'the Spider' or Spider to small letter as it is not being used as a name for the fact you have 'the' in front of it. If it was used as a name as you use Fly in this stanza then could capitalize. But, for me, too many capitals here that may take focus of a good challenging write.
I enjoyed the write despite that, but for me, a difference.
A very well done. By the way, I meant to ask of the term "The pregnant twilight"
That is a first for me, and even with poetic licence, may be one I had to look at a few times.
A very interesting write, which I rather liked despite the areas I think could improve it.
Bravo.
Will be looking more at your work.
My best wishes, and a Happy New Year, Clockwise. I like to keep my fan base small, but I will be fanning you back with the same respect you have given me. I will be clearing out some old authors not around now, and adding new.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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You know what?
I read this five times. I saw now that you are one of my fans and I like to read and digest to see if anyway I could find deeper meanings in a work that is deep and meaningful. This is, in many ways. The core meaning can run deep in interpretation, and I always like to see an author work well in delivering a good piece of work, worth reading again in burrowing through to the core.
I think a couple of things I also needed answering as to, firstly, why the capitalization in certain places when should not be. I wanted to see if it was a trend in each stanza or a particular form you are writing. For example;
"Fly calls to the Spider
"You tried and you missed
I'm a little bit better
Than the others you've kissed!"
Then I realized that all your first letters are capitals, something one would see in more rhymed poetry.
I think for me, I would, when writing free verse, still have capitals in their correct places, though not wrong here, as gives a better reading and suits more the eye...even if not using punctuation. Having capitals in rhymed poetry regardless if in right context works well because the rhyme offsets the balance but in free verse can sometimes throw off if words like "Than" begins a sentence or line. For a smoother read in the minds eye and not to detract from a clever piece of writing, I may try this kind of write with the capitals in the right place as with free verse more room to manoeuvre. With or without punctuation. For example;
Fly calls to the spider
"You tried and you missed
I'm a little bit better
than the others you've kissed!"
In response, chides the spider
"Oh, was that you?
My victims are many
my lovers are few"
There you see it gives a smoother passage with no distractions.
I de-capitalized 'the Spider' or Spider to small letter as it is not being used as a name for the fact you have 'the' in front of it. If it was used as a name as you use Fly in this stanza then could capitalize. But, for me, too many capitals here that may take focus of a good challenging write.
I enjoyed the write despite that, but for me, a difference.
A very well done. By the way, I meant to ask of the term "The pregnant twilight"
That is a first for me, and even with poetic licence, may be one I had to look at a few times.
A very interesting write, which I rather liked despite the areas I think could improve it.
Bravo.
Will be looking more at your work.
My best wishes, and a Happy New Year, Clockwise. I like to keep my fan base small, but I will be fanning you back with the same respect you have given me. I will be clearing out some old authors not around now, and adding new.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for the wonderful suggestions. I have implemented them the best I could, and I have no doubt it will read easier now.
I have great respect for your opinion and advice. You are, hands down, my favorite poet on this site. I am honored by the fact you considered my work so carefully. Again, thank you.
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My pleasure, my friend...and I treasure your words. I look forward to the support of each other. Reads much better now.
My best wishes
