Reviews from

Old Friends-New Enemies

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Up Popped the Devil."
Continuing saga of Jo Wiley/Thompson

22 total reviews 
Comment from junglefighter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A 'COMMENDABLE PRESENTATION', Charlie. Your writing is superb, and the artwork by, helvi2 is awesome. I look forward to reading more of your work now that I am getting a little time for myself. Oh, and by the way! If the ink for your quill starts getting low, let me know--and I'll mail you more! Keep on a -writing, my dear friend. Sorry, I have no six stars. Best wishes for a great year ahead, good health and happiness always.
Bill (JF)

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, JF. Charlie
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I would zero in faster if you identified Jo as the speaker early on, but, no big thing.
The western setting (injun spirits?) makes the supernatural more palatable for me. Excellent chapter.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
    I made the correction. Thank you for your review, comment and editing LIJ.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, a very powerful chapter.

I was engrossed in the story the whole way through. No wasted words or sentences, everything was focused on getting the story told.

Also, a good message on letting go of your hurts.

A good hook at the end.

Great job,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments Rhonda. Charlie
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Up up the devil's another wonderful chapter fight Charlie Lucas an excellent descriptive measures online perfectly thanks for just talked to Ricky 1024 Happy New Year

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, Ricky. Charlie
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Smiles Charlie
I like how you recalled my memory of Jo's past horrific experiences she had with her two uncles and found it necessary to kill them
And knowing there is a new chapter coming up why Melanie, is naked and picked up a fist-sized rock and who is she charging?

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Melanie mental condition was brought out in an earlier post. Thank you for your review and comments, Gert. Charlie
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a fascinating story. I'm jumping in at chapter 14 so am not familiar with the beginning of the story. This is a well-written stand-alone chapter. It helps new readers like me to be drawn into your characters and story. I will look for more of your chapters.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Jo has several books-over 500,000 words. Thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from zekeziemann
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done and entertaining right up to the end. I too like Westerns but mine are totally different in approach, maybe a bit old fashioned.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, Zeke. Charlie
Comment from Janie King
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It seems the first of this is a new piece but that I've read the last half the piece before this? Again I have missed a lot over the past two years. Onward we march. God bless. Janie

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review and comments, Janie. All of my work is in my portfolio. I am in the process of publishing my work.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another enjoyable chapter. You have been writing the same story for about five years, haven't you? There is a great rustic charm about them.

He said she wanted to stay." I told Aunt Heather, [Comma, not a period after "stay".]

"It was a two-hour ride from Uncle Sky's second farm to Seth and my canyon." [Correct would be "Seth's and my canyon" although it is 1st person narrative, which makes allowances for speech patterns.]

He killed my mother and tried to sell me to whore house. [... to A whore house.]






 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review, comments, and editing, Jay. Charlie
reply by Jay Squires on 02-Jan-2018
    You are most welcome, Charlie.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Once again, you did a wonderful job writing this post. You are an excellent story teller. My only negative comment is you tend to continue a sentence by stating the obvious. Below is an example

I looked at Aunt Heather. She had a calm, but determine look on her face. (You don't need 'on her face'. Usually anything after a preposition isn't needed.)

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your review, comments, editing and stars, Barbara. Charlie