Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 58 "Chapter Achtzehn part zwei"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

24 total reviews 
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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This is another great chapter. You have clearly done a tremendous amount of research on the Jewish Traditions. My cousin, a devout Catholic, married, Paul, a Reform Jew. They were married in both a church and Synagogue. Despite the extreme differences in faith, they were married more than forty years and had three children, two follow the Jewish faith and the third became Catholic.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
    It will be hard for Shana and Anderson, but I bet they solve the problems. Thank you.
Comment from mbroyles2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As always you've done an excellent job setting this scene up.
I like the quiet way you are drawing Drew and Shana closer.
Little hints like placing his hand in the small of her back as they exited the airplane.
The compassion he shows her family by offering to help and the thoughtfulness of making sure the food is kosher that he is going to get them.
This helps me connect with the characters.
I also ordered your book you had published "Two Tattered Hearts." Looking forward to reading it.
Michael

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
    Thank you for ordering 'Two Tattered Heart'. I appreciate it. My next book, titled here, was Savannah Love, now named Secrets of My Confederate Soldier will be out by the end of January. I appreciate all the generous support you give me.
Comment from Raychelle Lee
Good
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This is the first part that I have read so I am not familiar with that characters. It sounds interesting so far. I am interested to read from the beginning and see what happens in the end. I want to know why Shana and Anderson were discussing marriage between Jew's and non-Jews.... Possible romance? And who is the guy that came from the elevator? Suspicious... And what happened to the painting? This little excerpt has peeked my interest. Good job.

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 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
    You gave me a five star rating with only four stars. I need to know what I can improve to receive five stars.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Excellent
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Hi Barbara.

It's a solid story line with any of the chapters I've read. I'm becoming more involved with your characters now as well. The thing I noticed right away about this chapter is that it felt like more of a polished ready to print chapter than others I have read. It's like you owned these words. I am enjoying the story.

xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
    I was on Christmas break, I teach, and had more time to edit. LOL Thank you.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This is a positive work upon cultural values of specific faith, very well spoken with a catch in the beginning and happy quest ending; I liked the research based presentation. DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Barbara, This is yet again a great chapter and it also gives a lot of information about the Jewish faith. Poor Anderson seems to be up against it. I wonder how this will pan out now that Shana's parents have arrived. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
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Anderson must have a quiet chat with Paul about how he can get closer to Shana. It's working for them and the family seem happy about it. LOL, Barb, I am getting so involved with these characters, I just love how you write, it's so clear I could be there watching it all play out in the hospital corridors. I'm going to buy this when you get it published, so I can read it all the way through. Ben Colder told me to look out for your book, Savana Love, he said it's a 'must read' and coming out soon. Please let me know when it does. You can't get a higher recommendation than from our dear Ben. I'm going to look for your novel, Two Tattered Hearts. I just love your work. Can't wait for the next part of this book. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Savannah has been renamed, Secrets of My Confederate Soldier, and should be out the end of this month. Yes, Anderson and Paul to have a small talk. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Excellent
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"I'll make sure it's kosher. I know it's the Sabbath," interrupted Anderson. We passed a Cafe Express on the way in. If it doesn't have kosher food, maybe the cafeteria does. ' My father asked for a kosher meal and was given Halall and told it was just the same. Disgusting right? This is up to your usual standards of greatness and deeply engrossing, I look forward as always to reading more of your outstanding work kindest regards Meia x


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Anderson really is a unique altruistic sort of a chap, isn't he? Hoping for some interesting family dynamics development here...

Before the lady's finished, Anderson asked just a plural here so 'ladies'.


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    I can't believe as many times as I read this that I missed that. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate it, even though it's embarrassing.
Comment from apky
Excellent
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Very well written again, and I don't think the post lacked action - there were plenty. It all comes down to how you write the actions taking place, such as the limo arriving and parking near the aeroplane, the little actions and mannerisms people go through while hugging, etc.

Before the lady's(ladies - if you mean more than one lady. If it's just one lady finishing something, you need to let the reader know WHAT the lady finished because "lady's" indicates the possessive noun) finished, Anderson asked, "Have you noticed anybody suspicious?"


In order not to make the reader stop and re-orient themselves in a change scene, you need to indicate that there is a change of sce, say, by a double line break. When I read this:

Eliana nodded, and the two ladies knocked on the intensive care door. Moments later, a nurse opened it.

"Why don't we have a seat? I'm sure they'll be in there a while." Anderson motioned to the waiting area.

I had to stop and reorganise my thoughts because I thought I was still in the intensive care room.

All the best for the New Year,
Apky


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    I have made the ladies correction and will check out the other area. I thought I have an extra space. Maybe it didn't transfer onto FS, Thank you for the kind review.