Cora. Part 2
The story unfolds...12 total reviews
Comment from doggymad
A very interesting story Maria. I will have to check back on part 1 to catch up if I can get a chance.
The writing is quite simple and would make a very suitable story for a young adult. It would also make a good practice excerpt for a person learning English.
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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A very interesting story Maria. I will have to check back on part 1 to catch up if I can get a chance.
The writing is quite simple and would make a very suitable story for a young adult. It would also make a good practice excerpt for a person learning English.
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Freda.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi MJ,
Nice continuation of the story here, widening the characters. Joe may prove an interesting distraction at some point but John is a funny fella...
'Friends... How about you? - need closing speech marks here.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Hi MJ,
Nice continuation of the story here, widening the characters. Joe may prove an interesting distraction at some point but John is a funny fella...
'Friends... How about you? - need closing speech marks here.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading and for noticing the missing quotation marks.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good evening again, Maria: I am still following this story and it is still a great and very interesting story. I do love it that you tell us everything about all of the characters in a way that makes it easy to follow along. Your characters are all easy to like also except for the guy she is sneaking around with, John. He is obviously married. I would be surprised if he is not. You were right this was a sill excuse about his telling Cora not to call because his mother can't take the sound of the ringing phone. (obvious) I see that you said this is something that happened to your mother. The honest shares are really great so thank you for sharing. Great Job!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Good evening again, Maria: I am still following this story and it is still a great and very interesting story. I do love it that you tell us everything about all of the characters in a way that makes it easy to follow along. Your characters are all easy to like also except for the guy she is sneaking around with, John. He is obviously married. I would be surprised if he is not. You were right this was a sill excuse about his telling Cora not to call because his mother can't take the sound of the ringing phone. (obvious) I see that you said this is something that happened to your mother. The honest shares are really great so thank you for sharing. Great Job!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Tier. Have a nice day.
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Hey, Maria, when you get the chance I did post that second part of that poem, would love to hear what you think. Thank you in advance.
Comment from Dan Diego
I did read and review the first part, so I have some perspective. This is well-written and evenly paced. I'm a little concerned that there's no conflict, but I think that's just a side effect of too much reading on FanStory. People tend to get to the action quicker here out of fear of word counts and readership. Still, this part held my attention. I first thought you were writing this by the seat of your pants, but then you disclosed this has origins with your mom. I know it's a small thing, but I like the way you distribute your white space. There's patches of dialogue followed by narrative and back and forth. I'll keep an eye out for the next part. Thanks for posting.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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I did read and review the first part, so I have some perspective. This is well-written and evenly paced. I'm a little concerned that there's no conflict, but I think that's just a side effect of too much reading on FanStory. People tend to get to the action quicker here out of fear of word counts and readership. Still, this part held my attention. I first thought you were writing this by the seat of your pants, but then you disclosed this has origins with your mom. I know it's a small thing, but I like the way you distribute your white space. There's patches of dialogue followed by narrative and back and forth. I'll keep an eye out for the next part. Thanks for posting.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Dan.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Maria. Well it sure looks like this nob is married and then your notes says loosely based on something in your mum's life. In some ways isn't it refreshing to know that our parents were just people like us and had to sort through the mires of life as we do and as we help our own children out too? Life is that continuous cycle isn't it? I'm loving it! xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Hi Maria. Well it sure looks like this nob is married and then your notes says loosely based on something in your mum's life. In some ways isn't it refreshing to know that our parents were just people like us and had to sort through the mires of life as we do and as we help our own children out too? Life is that continuous cycle isn't it? I'm loving it! xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Yeah, you're right. We often forget our parents are regular people.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Maria Jose, this was a great continuation to your story. So more characters are introduced. It makes me wonder where this is going. I think that Joe and Cora may be interested in each other. I'll have to wait and see. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Hi Maria Jose, this was a great continuation to your story. So more characters are introduced. It makes me wonder where this is going. I think that Joe and Cora may be interested in each other. I'll have to wait and see. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Ulla.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Very well written and in the style of the ages. Love the interrraction and the fact that you take it slow and easy.
'Even though ()she admired'
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Very well written and in the style of the ages. Love the interrraction and the fact that you take it slow and easy.
'Even though ()she admired'
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thanks for reading, Barb. And for noticing the unnecessary comma.
Comment from Teri7
Maria, This is a very well written chapter you have written. You used very good descriptive wording and great dialogue. It sounds like Cora might have some health issues she is dealing with? Look forward to next chapter! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Maria, This is a very well written chapter you have written. You used very good descriptive wording and great dialogue. It sounds like Cora might have some health issues she is dealing with? Look forward to next chapter! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Yes, she's got Addison's disease but she doesn't know yet. Thanks for reading.
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you are a very good writer my friend!
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You're sweet, Teri.
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Thank you!
Comment from royowen
Having grown up in the 50s and 60s, I can relate to this quite deeply, you've managed to get in the head of a girl changing and growing, in a changing world of those days, a very naive time. Is Cora anorexic Maria? Things weren't still great for young girls then, only typist's pools, and perhaps stenography for the brighter girls, or teaching if they were better educated. Well done, great plot and character(s). Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Having grown up in the 50s and 60s, I can relate to this quite deeply, you've managed to get in the head of a girl changing and growing, in a changing world of those days, a very naive time. Is Cora anorexic Maria? Things weren't still great for young girls then, only typist's pools, and perhaps stenography for the brighter girls, or teaching if they were better educated. Well done, great plot and character(s). Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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No, she's not anorexic. She's very thin because she's sick. She's got Addison's disease (she's based on my mum, you know). I'll reveal that later on in the story.
Thanks for reading.
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I'll google that, Maria, was/is your mum British?
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No, my mum is Spanish. Her real name is Carmen.
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Well done Maria,
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Of course it's Carmen
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LOL. Very Spanish, is it?
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I was thinking - Carmen Miranda, heh heh. With the floral and fruit festooned hat.
Comment from robyn corum
MJ,
Oh, no! I just saw that this is based on real life. That's not so good!! I already don't like John and now that I know he's a real person he just sank even lower in my eyes. Yuuuuuck!
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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MJ,
Oh, no! I just saw that this is based on real life. That's not so good!! I already don't like John and now that I know he's a real person he just sank even lower in my eyes. Yuuuuuck!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Real indeed. My mum was very much in love with him... but as you say, he was bad news.
Thanks for reading.
