Legend Chasers
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Sagerton"An old man retells stories of fighting monsters.
26 total reviews
Comment from MelB
Hi Rhonda, a great start to the story and for the new year. It seems like there are a lot of trucks in Texas or at least from the movie portrayals of Texas.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Hi Rhonda, a great start to the story and for the new year. It seems like there are a lot of trucks in Texas or at least from the movie portrayals of Texas.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Take my word for it, there are tons of them here. We own three ourselves. One for driving nice places, Wayne's going to work truck, and an old beat up one for a farm truck. My poor little car seems very out of place. haha.
Thanks for the read and review.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a fantastic work, a great service and support is evidently expressed, a new life and a new endeavour, well done smoothly, wish you good luck. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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This is a fantastic work, a great service and support is evidently expressed, a new life and a new endeavour, well done smoothly, wish you good luck. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Dr. I appreciate your time and interest on my new project.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Rhonda,
Perfect in all respects!
Easy to understand as well as impressive phraseology.
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the very beginning to the end with lively imagery lovely description of the scenes.
Interesting and worth reading in one sitting - A good quality.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Hello Rhonda,
Perfect in all respects!
Easy to understand as well as impressive phraseology.
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the very beginning to the end with lively imagery lovely description of the scenes.
Interesting and worth reading in one sitting - A good quality.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Wow, thank you for the exceptional rating, and the specific response. It is so helpful to know what works! Have a great weekend.
Rhonda
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Rhonda, Most Welcome!
Have a pleasant weekend,
~ RP
Comment from D.F. Wood
Oh this is good. Is this the first chapter of your book? I have got to hear the rest of this story. I spent 19 years in Texas and my son was born there. Your words painted great imagery. You have me hooked already.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Oh this is good. Is this the first chapter of your book? I have got to hear the rest of this story. I spent 19 years in Texas and my son was born there. Your words painted great imagery. You have me hooked already.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Hi Daniel!
Thank you for the wonderful rating. You've encouraged me. Yes, this is the first chapter, and that's often difficult when you are starting to make sure your new story "works". I do so appreciate the feedback.
Take care,
Rhonda
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You are welcome. And, I am your new fan.
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Awww, thanks. I'll return the favor!
Comment from lyenochka
Great start, Rhonda! With your teaching expertise, I'm sure your skills will shine through as you describe the main character's teaching techniques! All the characters sound interesting!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Great start, Rhonda! With your teaching expertise, I'm sure your skills will shine through as you describe the main character's teaching techniques! All the characters sound interesting!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you, my friend! I'm not going to focus so much on her teaching as on other events that occur around her. Thanks for remembering, though.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Jay Squires
Ah-ha! So it's the beginning of a new book! Good luck with it. You made a great start.
I like the characters and the friction between Nara and Hank.
A couple of things:
A dynamic first paragraph, Rhonda. I especially liked the understated: It was summer, and it was west Texas.
"You're creating a public nuisance - again." [An em dash has two dashes, never one, never three. You don't space between the two words it separates.]
squinted sparkling blues eyes in a habitual manner. [Rhonda, I'm wondering if you can find a word more descriptive of her feelings than "habitual". It sounds like you are trying to describe someone who is cautious, non-trusting.
"Don't know who she is, but unless she comes to load them, I'm in charge." [Ha! A funny line.]
D'you know I lived in San Antonio for about a year? In fact, I posted a book here called "Down and Out In San Antonio."
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Ah-ha! So it's the beginning of a new book! Good luck with it. You made a great start.
I like the characters and the friction between Nara and Hank.
A couple of things:
A dynamic first paragraph, Rhonda. I especially liked the understated: It was summer, and it was west Texas.
"You're creating a public nuisance - again." [An em dash has two dashes, never one, never three. You don't space between the two words it separates.]
squinted sparkling blues eyes in a habitual manner. [Rhonda, I'm wondering if you can find a word more descriptive of her feelings than "habitual". It sounds like you are trying to describe someone who is cautious, non-trusting.
"Don't know who she is, but unless she comes to load them, I'm in charge." [Ha! A funny line.]
D'you know I lived in San Antonio for about a year? In fact, I posted a book here called "Down and Out In San Antonio."
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Hi, Jay!
Thanks for the detailed review. No, I didn't know you lived in San Antonio. That's actually where I was born, though I didn't spend long there.
Actually, Nara is habitually cautious and non-trusting, but I should probably change that.
Thanks for the explanation of the dash. I didn't know that (obviously)--haha.
I'm glad you liked the chapter. I've gotten a little flack about it being too cliche, and not my usual style. Point is, it's the first chapter. More is coming.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
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Cliche? I don't see that at all. You introduced early on, tropes you find in almost ALL romance fiction, but that's a good thing, especially if you let them develop slowly enough throughout. In other words, don't have Nara change her deep-seated distrust too quickly, and when you do, make sure the cause for her change is equal to the cause (s) that made her distrustful. Likewise, possibly, for Tom if what causes his uninhibited, tending-toward-rude behavior had been brought about by something significant in his past. The "possibly" above is IF Tom is an important character, and especially if there is romantic, or relationship tension between them.
Those are my thoughts on it though.
Like you said, it IS the first chapter, after all.
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Wow, thank you for the very helpful review. That's exactly what I had in mind to do. There will be a lot of fantasy creatures between this point, and their understanding of each other. There is a more to the story than romance, as I'm sure you would guess, having read my work before. Unlike before, though, there is actually romance.
Thanks, again, I do so appreciate your input on this! I will remember it.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
New year - new book, looks really good to me. I am in for the red.e You have a good story on your hands and I'm waiting to find out more. I like these well described characters. They are unique and interesting.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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New year - new book, looks really good to me. I am in for the red.e You have a good story on your hands and I'm waiting to find out more. I like these well described characters. They are unique and interesting.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Barbara. I will probably go back to the other two as well, but I needed something new for the new year.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Superb opening. I like Nara's numbness. Nothing seems to affect her. She is lost in her inner sorrow and desperate to heal. Seems like she's come to the wrong place, where she is definitely OUT of place, but things change. I look forward to following her story. :)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Superb opening. I like Nara's numbness. Nothing seems to affect her. She is lost in her inner sorrow and desperate to heal. Seems like she's come to the wrong place, where she is definitely OUT of place, but things change. I look forward to following her story. :)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Phyllis. What a wonderful gift of six stars!!
I'm glad you got the character of Nara. She is numb and self-absorbed. Definitely, she will change, but it will be a bit of a struggle for her to do so!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
A little different from your normal offering Rhonda. Excellently established early description of character and circumstance, sort of fitting a square peg in a round hole. Sounds like a fascinating theme, British comedies ar dramas use these themes to great affect, that's why I love the British shows. Ain't perceptions marvellous? So well done Rhonda, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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A little different from your normal offering Rhonda. Excellently established early description of character and circumstance, sort of fitting a square peg in a round hole. Sounds like a fascinating theme, British comedies ar dramas use these themes to great affect, that's why I love the British shows. Ain't perceptions marvellous? So well done Rhonda, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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I'm not sure I'm going to stay with this one. I'm not getting very positive responses. I should stick with what I know. I got discouraged when people said the last one was too intense. I may put this one on a back burner. Thanks for the review.
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I found Americans don't "get" British humour
(it tends to the self deprecating side, sort of laughing at oneself, as is Aussie humour, the nuances of drama are different)Americans tend to take things literally, looking through a different lens, if you've ever read Bill Bryson's travel books, you'll see a North American Anglofile, Canadians are similar to Aussies, it does make a difference where one is born, as a writer we need to view things through someone else's eyes. Why am I saying these things? because I like this work. I think it's good, dear Rhonda. You couldn't anything bad if you tried! blessings, Roy
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Awww, Roy! Thank you. I was so discouraged yesterday, but feel better after a few better reviews, and for your very warm comments. I will go on with this one now.
I feel the same way about your work--never ever disappoints!
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Your a good writer dear girl, I'm at your back
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Thank you, my friend!
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Welcome Rhonda
Comment from Rasmine
Good story. I'm listening to spooky music that Dean played on one of his poems. So, I was expecting some supernatural stuff to happen. :P
Good luck on your new book!
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Good story. I'm listening to spooky music that Dean played on one of his poems. So, I was expecting some supernatural stuff to happen. :P
Good luck on your new book!
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thanks for the response. I'll probably bring out one of the older books to work on.
Take care,
Rhonda
