Reviews from

The daytrip

A man and women go for a stroll in the forest

9 total reviews 
Comment from rtobaygo
Excellent
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Good afternoon, Oliver

Enjoyed the read. Excellent piece of FF. You set the scene, got into your character's head then ended with the his feeling of self assuredness regarding the keys dashed when he reached the parking lot.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
    Thanks again for the excellent feedback! Much appreciated
Comment from sherrygreywolf
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So few words and yet they contain all the elements needed for a nice little story. And I loved the irony of the last sentence - "She had the car keys after all." Great work.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
    Thanks for the great feedback, I?m really glad you enjoyed it
Comment from Sankey
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Good one mate! Thanks for sharing. Talk about some De Ja Vueing hehe. NO spags and great art work. I managed to get MP3 files working on my Carols if interested a bit late, I know. Look for Geoff's Really Truly Christmas carols.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    Thanks for the great feedback and I?ll have a look at that!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Damn. Why did he let her take the keys? Foolish man. That was the one ace he had. Now he may not make it out of there alive. Serves him right for being so stupid.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    It does indeed!
Comment from Dan Diego
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Wow. Two Oliver818 stories in the same day. For some reason, this one made me feel poetry. Not like poetic justice. Not like "roses are red." But like Haiku poetry. I'm not a poet, but I think haikus follow a strict syllable count with the last five providing stark contrast to the first twelve. I'm probably wrong. But the reason I felt that way in this 100 word story is that the first two well-written paragraphs describe a man in charge of his day outdoors. And the third paragraph provides the stark contrast, or the reality of his girl is really in charge now. Mistake-free. Short. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    Thanks so much for the excellent feedback, much appreciated!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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The cunning of a woman, covering all angles and making sure of her escape route! Your little story made me laugh Oliver, I love the artwork too, an amazing painting, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    Thanks for the great feedback, much appreciated!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
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This speaks how Lucy managed to have the car key for she did not like strolling in the forests rather she wanted him to be munched by bears; Lucy vanished; I liked. DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    Thanks
Comment from Sharon Meda
Excellent
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A good entry for the '100 Word Flash Fiction'.
Well written a clear story in a few words.
The artwork is beautiful as well.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    Thanks for the great feedback, I really appreciate it!
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Oliver,

A good piece here for the competition.

Nice description throughout the short piece and the denouement hits well in the finale.

Nice
G

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    Thanks again, much appreciated!