Vegas Mayhem
Disguise contest entry14 total reviews
Comment from oliver818
This is a very interesting story, I enjoyed it. It flowed well and was easy to read. I liked the characters, they were very realistic. Thanks for sharing and have a great day!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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This is a very interesting story, I enjoyed it. It flowed well and was easy to read. I liked the characters, they were very realistic. Thanks for sharing and have a great day!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed "Vegas Mayhem," and found the characters to be realistic. Thank you for sharing. Rod
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good story well told. There's a nice twist at the end to bring readers back. I hope you plan on continuing the story and it's not just a one scene piece. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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A very good story well told. There's a nice twist at the end to bring readers back. I hope you plan on continuing the story and it's not just a one scene piece. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Thomas, for your kind praise of "Vegas Mayhem." Yes, I hope to post a sequel soon. Rod
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story a mysterious murder and a masked man got killed by a woman with a wig. Both seem to be disguised and not who.they really are. No the murderer must be found.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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A very well-written story a mysterious murder and a masked man got killed by a woman with a wig. Both seem to be disguised and not who.they really are. No the murderer must be found.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Sandra, for sharing "Vegas Mayhem." I do hope to continue the story in s future pos. Rod
Comment from MelB
This played out like a great detective story. You disguised the fact that it was a female well, until the end. I enjoyed reading this contest entry. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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This played out like a great detective story. You disguised the fact that it was a female well, until the end. I enjoyed reading this contest entry. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed ?Vegas Mayhem,? and appreciate your kind praise and best wishes.
Comment from WalkerMan
If this well-written story is a possible first chapter of a new book, then I recommend you continue it in future posts, as I like the characters, plausible dialog, and plot so far. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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If this well-written story is a possible first chapter of a new book, then I recommend you continue it in future posts, as I like the characters, plausible dialog, and plot so far. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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You have predicted my intent, WalkerMan. Thank you so much for your kind praise of ?Vegas Mayhem.?
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You are welcome. I look forward to reading more of it. -- Mike
Comment from Ricky1024
Vegas Mayhem was actually written rich and seems Wells imagery flowed well read well on their grammar issue so to speak objective an object the contents aligned perfectly in Wareham Place one would describe the measures thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Vegas Mayhem was actually written rich and seems Wells imagery flowed well read well on their grammar issue so to speak objective an object the contents aligned perfectly in Wareham Place one would describe the measures thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Ricky, for sharing ?Vegas Mayhem.?
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a well written piece for the 'Disguised' writing prompt.
A story well told and the artwork is good as well.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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This is a well written piece for the 'Disguised' writing prompt.
A story well told and the artwork is good as well.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed ?Vegas Mayhem,? Sharon. Thanks for sharing.
Comment from sibhus
A clever idea for this contest. Probably closer to the truth than what we realize. It's well written with a good flow that keeps the reader interested. Makes for an excellent addition to contest, and good luck.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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A clever idea for this contest. Probably closer to the truth than what we realize. It's well written with a good flow that keeps the reader interested. Makes for an excellent addition to contest, and good luck.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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I am delighted you enjoyed ?Vegas Mayhem.? Thank you for sharing.
Comment from Dan Diego
Nice little entry. There's a lot packed into those 500 words. I did comb the work for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. I didn't notice any. The flow was crisp and the narration had an air of authenticity.
I learned a new word: moldering
The end is ambiguous. To me, it suggests this was less of a mob hit and most likely a disgruntled consort/escort. This story leaves this reader with a want for more. Good luck in the voting booth.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Nice little entry. There's a lot packed into those 500 words. I did comb the work for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. I didn't notice any. The flow was crisp and the narration had an air of authenticity.
I learned a new word: moldering
The end is ambiguous. To me, it suggests this was less of a mob hit and most likely a disgruntled consort/escort. This story leaves this reader with a want for more. Good luck in the voting booth.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you for this great review of ?Vegas Mayhem.? I am delighted I left you wanting more as I hope to continue thisi in another entry.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
nice piece here. generally ell written and the dialogue pushes things forward nicely.
"Hmmm . . . ," he said - you don't need the comma when using the ellipsis.
and finger- printed.- fingerprinted can be one word here.
I know it's difficult given the word counts and such like but a conclusion would have been more satisfying.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Hi there,
nice piece here. generally ell written and the dialogue pushes things forward nicely.
"Hmmm . . . ," he said - you don't need the comma when using the ellipsis.
and finger- printed.- fingerprinted can be one word here.
I know it's difficult given the word counts and such like but a conclusion would have been more satisfying.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you, GMG, for sharing ?Vegas Mayhem? and for your thoughtful comments and suggestions. Having only 500 words to work with makes a clear resolution of the story?s conflict impossible, but I thought this cliffhanger might segue into a follow-up story.
