Reviews from

Of Cupcakes and Cancer

A surgeon and his patient talk...

5 total reviews 
Comment from cupa tea
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, what a change...from wall street to making cupcakes. Very well written easy to follow, and you've got lots happening in this conversation, you get a real feeling for what type of guy this sick guy is...good luck!

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
    Thank you for your review and comments. Happy new year!
Comment from jenintorre
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! This is an incredible peice of writing. To say it is a good entry to the dialogue only competition is an understatement. Thank you and good luck.

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
    Thank you so much for your review. I'm honored. Happy holidays!
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your post for the dialogue only is a good one. I am assuming that you're a doctor since you mentioned this is part of an actual conversation with a patient. Your story is interesting and written well. There are a couple of small punctuation errors and one line that needs to be brought up one space to continue properly in the sentence. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2017
    Thank you for your review and comments. I'll look back for punctuation. Thanks!
Comment from Wabigoon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is well done within the context of the current medical model. How about if Mr. Jones tells you, the surgeon a dream about his illness and the diagnosis for the cure as revealed by the "God," Asclepius in a dream? Asclepius used to be part of the Hippocratic oath, I'd like to see his, at least, fictional inclusion in the missals of modern medicine.

Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2017
    Oh... very interesting. I'll look into that. Thanks for the comment and review
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't know how the Compliance Committee will view this,
but by identifying the patient and the surgeon, you're effectively using dialogue tags. Perhaps you should eliminate Patient: and Surgeon: --They are not dialogue.

Just a thought.

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2017
    Hey, thanks for the review.

    Hmm... i think you are right. I must have seen an abbreviated list of rules.

    Thanks for catching that!