Reviews from

Two Faced

A short story about disguise.

19 total reviews 
Comment from Paws4FX
Good
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Oooh! This is an excellent little plot line you have going here. I know exactly what you were shooting for in this story, and it just needs some more fleshing out. Was there a word limit when you wrote it?

The transition was a little confusing for me until I realized you had taken us forward in time. With a titch more connective description, this would stand alone as a good flash fiction type piece, but I think this could be something special as a longer story. If we got to know Sam a little better, we could either truly loathe him, or at the very least have a keen understanding of where he's coming from as a passive aggressive protagonist, depending on how dark you believe him to be. Some very interesting possibilities!

Sam is a good (not nice good) character, and we know quite a bit about him in just the short time we have to meet him. That's cool!

Nice alliteration and descriptive prose makes it easy to enjoy reading.

Again, the transition is a bit abrupt, but otherwise I think you have a nice little diamond in the rough here. Thanks for sharing it!

Michael

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 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your read and review.
Comment from Mustangpatty1029
Excellent
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Hi, Sharon;
Congratulations on your win with this story. You did a great job of using the disguise of a clown to cover up the actor's disdain for the children. I'm sure it gave him great pleasure to diminish the child's birthday celebration without looking petty,

~patty~

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Many thanks.
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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This writing prompt was rich and Demon imagery as well has no grammar issues expelled I enjoyed the clown part and then the Drone part was added plus thanks for this or I'm good luck in the contest after Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Many thanks.
Comment from Brigitte Elko
Excellent
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This is a great story about an emotional unveiling. The clown as a character is well described and is a viable villain. This was a good read. Good luck in the contest.

Happy New Year,
Brigitte

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
    Many thanks.
reply by Brigitte Elko on 29-Dec-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written story. It is hard to recognized a clown without his make up. He can be anyone you come across. It will look like they know you, but you can't place them.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
    Many thanks
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

This is a neat little piece. Old Sam is a cantankerous bugger who enjoys the suffering of children... nice. lol

The drone was no where to be seen - nowhere.


 Comment Written 20-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
    Many thanks
Comment from Dan Diego
Excellent
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Bad clown. Bad, bad clown.

You managed to wrap a disguise in a disguise and tripped this reader up. I loved the ending and did not expect that. This is a carefully crafted story that seems to meet the contest requirements. And it's short enough to gain some attention in the booth.
I didn't see any spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors. Good job and good luck.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
    Many thanks.
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
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Ah, so the tired old clown purposely tripped the spoiled rich boy, thus spoiling the lad's expensive birthday present--and barking the brat's knees to boot.
Not at all beyond the realm of credibility.

Best of luck at the polls.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
    Many thanks.
Comment from apky
Excellent
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I'm not really keen on drones, some of which have proved downright dangerous.
But I did feel sorry for little Michael - he can't help it if he'd been born a little lamb in the Age of Sheep, where nobody had any imagination of their own that didn't come from advertisements or reality shows that lead the Sheep.

Good luck with this delightful little story.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
    Many thanks.
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent
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Well written and full of color and vibrancy. The disguise was a clever one and set the premise for the rest of the story... a good build up. Regards.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
    Many thanks.