Chocolate Ghazal
An introduction to the qafiya in a ghazal.46 total reviews
Comment from Treischel
Awesome. You did it, just as promised. It came off very well, outlining the difficulties of chocolate obsession, written in a Ghazal that includes a qafiya. You taught me two new things about the Ghazal format: this qafiya, and the inclusion of author's pen name in the last couplet. That information seems to be missing in my previous sources.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Awesome. You did it, just as promised. It came off very well, outlining the difficulties of chocolate obsession, written in a Ghazal that includes a qafiya. You taught me two new things about the Ghazal format: this qafiya, and the inclusion of author's pen name in the last couplet. That information seems to be missing in my previous sources.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, Treischel, the qafiya and the pen name. I am going to read online articles and examples of ghazals more closely to see if I am missing other key components. I will also serve for other neglected forms of poetry from the developing world.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Ooh chocolate! I know what you mean about craving for chocolate. Indeed, writer must have eaten enormous amount chocolate to cause him to be hospitalized. Umm, lines about chocolate addiction is so amazing, making me crave for that dark rich chocolate. NICELY WRITTEN. liberty justice
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Ooh chocolate! I know what you mean about craving for chocolate. Indeed, writer must have eaten enormous amount chocolate to cause him to be hospitalized. Umm, lines about chocolate addiction is so amazing, making me crave for that dark rich chocolate. NICELY WRITTEN. liberty justice
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, Liberty Justice, many people craved chocolate after reading my poem. Thank you for your review. Get a chocolate bar!
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is an excellent ghazal about the addiction of chocolate.
The picture is beautiful and an good match.
Thank you for sharing another good one with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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This is an excellent ghazal about the addiction of chocolate.
The picture is beautiful and an good match.
Thank you for sharing another good one with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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You're welcome, Sharon. Yes, chocolate is addictive. Thank you for your delicious review.
Comment from Pantygynt
I did not understand it last time when you described the qafiya but, as usual, a picture, or in this case an example, speaks a thousand words. I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand. Actually I think I understand already, but I shall have to "do" to find out. I think it might be quite difficult finding even the minimum of five final syllables of polysyllabic words that rhyme and go neatly with the constant.
So, Andre, may the spirit of the Aga Shahid Ali be upon you, I will have a go between now and the New Year anyway.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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I did not understand it last time when you described the qafiya but, as usual, a picture, or in this case an example, speaks a thousand words. I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand. Actually I think I understand already, but I shall have to "do" to find out. I think it might be quite difficult finding even the minimum of five final syllables of polysyllabic words that rhyme and go neatly with the constant.
So, Andre, may the spirit of the Aga Shahid Ali be upon you, I will have a go between now and the New Year anyway.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Jim, for your review. This was a fun poem to write once I realized that my previous ghazals were missing the qafiya. I only needed a minimum of six polysyllabic words for a minimum of five couplets. I came up seven words. You are right--by doing I learned.
Thank you for your review and for your blessings of the spirit of Aga Shahid Ali upon me.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Chocolate gets such a bad rap and yet it is the source of calm soothing and happy smiles around the world. Dark, light, milk ... no matter what kind you choose you simply cannot lose. This is a delightful read and I thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Chocolate gets such a bad rap and yet it is the source of calm soothing and happy smiles around the world. Dark, light, milk ... no matter what kind you choose you simply cannot lose. This is a delightful read and I thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Mystic Angel, for your delicious review. I am glad my poem delighted you.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with all chocolate lovers in mind. There is very good imagery and descriptive read. One must get what one needs in order to keep fit. Good job.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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This is very well written with all chocolate lovers in mind. There is very good imagery and descriptive read. One must get what one needs in order to keep fit. Good job.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, C_Lucas, I should do more walking than thinking about chocolate. Thank you for your review.
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Dark Chocolates are recommended for the Heart.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
At night, when I sweat and shake during withdrawals,
dark voices come to me unbidden, chocolate...I can relate to that I can resist chocolate all day and then at night it calls out to me! A wonderful poem well done cat you are really producing some fabulous work. Kind regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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At night, when I sweat and shake during withdrawals,
dark voices come to me unbidden, chocolate...I can relate to that I can resist chocolate all day and then at night it calls out to me! A wonderful poem well done cat you are really producing some fabulous work. Kind regards Meia xx
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Meia, for your generous review. I had a lot of fun with this one and was impressed with how quickly I wrote it.
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a lot of fun, Andre. I could really empathize as I love chocolate.
And it seems this time you have fulfilled all the requirements. It must be difficult to write one of these...
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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This is a lot of fun, Andre. I could really empathize as I love chocolate.
And it seems this time you have fulfilled all the requirements. It must be difficult to write one of these...
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, Maria, once I realized the key component that this ghazal needed, I wrote it in twelve hours. Thank you for your review.
Comment from dragonpoet
Chocolate lovers everywhere will understand that chocolate is an addiction that is hard to break. This is witty and does show that some may think they need a 12 step program to control it.
Keep writing
Happy Holidays.
Joan
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Chocolate lovers everywhere will understand that chocolate is an addiction that is hard to break. This is witty and does show that some may think they need a 12 step program to control it.
Keep writing
Happy Holidays.
Joan
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, Joan, chocolate can be an addiction. Thank you for your review. I?ll keep writing.
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You're welcome. I am an addict. Though I can control myself at times.
Jaon
Comment from Lucian Carter
It's too easy to get hung up on format. There's certainly nothing wring with trying new styles, especially when you can do it with style. Here you manage to show off some nice imagery and references. The last stanza is a bit "meta" but it works for the tone of the piece.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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It's too easy to get hung up on format. There's certainly nothing wring with trying new styles, especially when you can do it with style. Here you manage to show off some nice imagery and references. The last stanza is a bit "meta" but it works for the tone of the piece.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Lucian, for your generous review of my style and imagery. This form of poetry, the ghazal, always includes the author?s pen name in the last couplet. Hence, the meta quality. Thanks.
