Reviews from

Chocolate Ghazal

An introduction to the qafiya in a ghazal.

46 total reviews 
Comment from easyeverett1
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Six stars for the unique quality of the writing and also for introducing me to a form I immediately was attracted to and
impressed by it. The unusual dictated location of the rhyming words reminded me of the Villanelle. Sylvia Plath wrote many of them and they have been the hardest for me to write of any form I have attempted. Your comment about reviewers getting on you for repetition made me chuckle. I am sure you were kind in your response to such drivel, as I was, but I would always ask where they learned that repetition in poems was a mortal sin? I referred them to a few Victorian poets like Tennyson, Yeats and a few others. Those poets used it and used it well. Anyway, this was a very good poetic with all the tools well in play. Great write and I lived in Redwood City while attending Stanford just before I was drafted so I could see the S.E. Asian world. Take care Sis Cat and have a creative 2017. tom

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
    Oh, thank you, Tom, for your generous, six star review. Chocolate Ghazal was my break out poem in this form. I had written two earlier ghazals but when I read more about ghazals and learned that I did not employ the signature rhyme and refrain form, I rushed to write Chocolate Ghazal and returned to my first one, In Ivy, to rewrite it before contest voting starts. Now I am reading the world's first anthology of English ghazals and am having fun. Thank you for your supportive and encouraging review.
Comment from kittykatnoel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed the form. I loved learning about the form and how it should be properly executed. I enjoy that you have put references into the poem that I must pause to think about and mull over their meaning and their deeper meaning. I love chocolate and visually tasted the graphic included. Thank you.

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 13-Dec-2017
    Oh, thank you, Kitty, for your delicious review. It took two tries before I finally nailed the form on my third try. Thanks.
Comment from Tier V. King
Excellent
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Good morning again, Andre: Thank you so much for clearing this up. At first when I saw the description above the title, I immediately looked up this word. After reading this brilliantly esquisite poem, I read again the definition with your more clear definition of this word. I could clearly see that you have done exactly what you said, the word before the last word, of each second line - rhymes. I also love it that you have given us not just the thorough notes and great poem but that you have given us a sample poem by Aga Shahid Ali. This perfected this whole post. You have written another exceptional job. You do deserve another six-star for this poem but I am out but I am loving this style of poetry. Thank you again for the lesson and examples.

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 13-Dec-2017
    Oh, thank you, Tier, for your review. After two tries, I finally wrote a ghazal that followed all of the rules. I checked out from the library yesterday two books by Aga Shahid Ali on how to write ghazals in English, and I am thrilled that I have achieved this.

    Thank you for your generous, virtual six star review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Kerry Robinson
Excellent
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Wow, Andre, I love this ghazal form you've penned on chocolate. I never heard of this, very cool. Of course, my favorite, I am the biggest chocoholic, lol. That is an awesome picture you added. Outstanding:) ~Kerry

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 13-Dec-2017
    Oh, thank you, Kerry, for your delicious review. It took me two tries to meet all the requirements of a ghazal on the third. Cheers!
reply by Kerry Robinson on 19-Dec-2017
    You're welcome. Have a Happy Holiday!
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Excellent
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I love chocolate and have to have chocolate at any cost multiple times a day. I can't imagine what life will be like when I hear the words "diabetic". I think I will die a little inside. Great job

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
    Thank you, ExperiencingLiphe, for your delicious review. I got to get some chocolate, too!
Comment from BOO ghost
Excellent
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This one kind of melts on you. Lovinia Wonka loved chocolate! She lived Down Under. Never heard of again. The presentation is delicious! One tender bite is not enough. A chocolate infatuation. I get a chuckle out of this line: Psychiatrists say I'm forbidden chocolate. At night, when I sweat and shake during withdrawals,
dark voices come to me unbidden, chocolate: ha ha! this is great! Wish I had six chocolates to give. This is worth a box of chocolates. Purely amazing. BOO-tastic!

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
    Oh, thank you, BOO, for pointing out the lines you love. I had a lot of fun writing them. Thank you for your delicious review.
reply by BOO ghost on 12-Dec-2017
    "Life is like a box of chocolates, never know what you will get." Forest Gump~
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
    Yes!
Comment from writerjen
Good
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Interesting poem.. a complicated poem. But you pulled it off cleverly. It was a bit hard to follow maybe because I didn't read your other poem. Overall well done.., not sure the picture accurately enhanced this poems message- just my two cents.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
    Yes, writerjen, the ghazals have a distinct structure of refrain, rhyme, and line length. Thank you for your review, your compliments, and your two cents.
Comment from Poetic Friend
Excellent
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This is so cute! Okay, you are a chocoholic. Good luck, you are in good company. I am not one, but I know so many people who are chocoholics. Good luck with your treatment.

Again, you made good use of the couplets. Your words made chocolate so inviting, even the background color was well chosen for the candy.

I really enjoy this!

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
    Thank you, Poetic Friend, for your delicious review of my scrumptious ghazal on chocolate. I appreciate the snack.
Comment from Dorothy Fennell
Excellent
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Hi Andre, I really enjoyed your ghazal on chocolate and a good mouth-watering picture as well. I also read your last one - Your Arms. It all looks so easy till I read your author notes and I ended up copletely confused. So instead I re-read your words and enjoyed the read. In support of chocolate I must say - it is also good for you, the dark kind with high cocoa content. Anyway, I shall continue eating it, especially with Christmas on the way. Hope you have a good one. Warm regards Dorothy

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
    Yes, Dorothy, it took me three ghazals to finally nail the structure. Now I am returning to my first one to revise it. Thank you for your delicious review of my intoxicating, mouth-watering poem.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Excellent
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Good for you to keep at this form until you got it right:)

I hope you are not forbidden chocolate. Goodness one can not survive without it - at least not I. lol.

teresa

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
    No, Teresa, I?m not bedridden by chocolate; I?m up late at night writing about chocolate when there?s none in the house. Thank you for your review.
reply by TAB_that's me on 12-Dec-2017
    LOL