Reviews from

Another Jackie O

Written in Chicago doing the beat clubs 1963

29 total reviews 
Comment from Liberty Justice
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

WHOA, you're on a roll dear poet. Seems poet finds woman is a whore and does disgusting things, and even looks ragged. Describes other events in life he finds distasteful and loudly voices his opinions. WELL DONE. liberty justice

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2017

Comment from robina1978
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't remember the previous Jackie O. But this one is a sad story about a female living rough. She fled away from all. Never got laid either. She took lithium as well, maybe she was a patient. Then she gives a speech herself. I liked it all.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2017

Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This sounds a great deal like the biknick days, if spelled that word biknick correctly. I haven't seen the word in a long time. Did you also have a beard Daddy-O? I really liked the rhythm.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2017

Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A lot of negative words and descriptions. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an unadulterated read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
    Thank you so much Charlie. tom
Comment from Jmf4119
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A thought provoking piece. You tell the story as if you had seen this first hand and with care and pain in your words.

Very well written in rhyming couplets. Good use of alliteration and other poetic devices.
blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
    Hi Janet and thank you very much. tom
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The amazing, incessant beat of the music of this poem, the intertwined alliterations, the echoing rhymes, held my attention throughout. The surreal images bled in and out of each other, creating a dream like vision of a tangled world of rich in appearance, poor in substance people. Here the materialistic culture evaporates into bag ladies, shameless, out on the street, with no connections to the people around them, emotionally. The music of the beat, the rhythm of the rhymes, jumps and skips from image to image, in an electric speed, and I would have to give you an A for effort in composing this. This was carefully done, and carefully arranged, with the ear and soul in mind. estory

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
    Great review my friend and I am truly thankful for your support of my poetics. Take care and thanks again. tom
Comment from wordsmithbully
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Damn!!! Wow!!! Speechless!!! My kind of poetry! Terrific and hella inspiring!! Classic feel but stills feels like modern day at the same time! I enjoyed this!! I'm old school anyhow! Superb job!!

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
    Hi wordsmithbully and thank you bunches for this exceptional review. I am really pleased and flattered. tom
Comment from Brigitte Elko
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a hardcore poetic wail of a life and told with descriptive adjectives that numb the senses. Your style, unique to say the least, is yours alone. I love your getting deep into the soul with your verb age. The analogy is superb and shouts out loud to this reader. May I use a trite word? Awesome!!!! Wish I had six stars to award.
Blessings,
Brigitte

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
    Hi Brigitte. I thank you so much for supporting my poetics and for the exceptional review of a poem I wrote when I was 21 years a babe. lol I thank you again good friend. tom
Comment from Wabigoon
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Easy--
I like this a lot having had a certain attraction for a "Crazy Lady" once, who reminds me some of this one, yours.

I wonder why this subject matter? What about this person and her decline into a kind of jagged anti-sanity compelled this poem?

It is a little too rhymey for me, or the rhythms are not jagged enough, "crazy" enough and I feel they should be.

But I applaud your effort and the subject matter--
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    Hi Jeff. This poem was kind of a compilation of street folk I'd seen both in NYC and Chicago. I wrote it in '63' while hitting the 'beat clubs' in Chicago. The "lady" in the poem just came together one night after clubbing on Chicago's South side and I haven't changed a word in all the years since I wrote it. I really appreciate your comments and your outstanding rating. Glad you enjoyed. tom
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

i'm brain-drained, insane, dissipated plain,
a bucket full of truth even Jesus wouldn't claim
so crucify your comfort, your gentrified name,
then bring it to the street, bitch, let me see your shame. '
You say you are formalist but this comes across more like an amazing modern masterpiece fused with rap...it is outstanding in every way, every line a marvel, deserving of a six for sure kindest regards Meia x

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
    Hi Meia. I actually created this character, the lady, from observing the street people of both New York and Chicago in the summer of '63'. A friend and myself hit all the 'beat' coffee houses on Chicago's South side. I enjoyed the open mike venue where local poets would read their verse to the audience. I didn't read that night, though subsequently, did read in a few clubs on my return to them later in that week. I was enamored with the 'let it all loose' attitude of the beat poets and this poem was my youthful homage to both the style and content popular in the subset of poets known as the 'beats.' Thank you for a great review my friend. tom
reply by Meia (MESAYERS) on 06-Dec-2017
    So beatnik, which of course went on to inspire some forms of rap and spoken word poetry. Don't get me wrong I love formal types of poetry but rarely stick to them. Some of my work has been a bit too 'rappy' for her but if I call it beatick maybe I can! Anyway superb work xx